The Most Raw Conversation I've Ever Had: Revisited

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

>> Sorry to bother you.

What?

>> Sorry to bother you.

I'm Chris and I I'm I'm a photographer.

I'm a portrait photographer.

And I I just thought that you had like a really cool look.

It It was I noticed you over there

and the hat and everything

and the coats.

Are you from Dublin, sir?

>> Yeah.

>> Are you?

>> No, I don't live here anymore.

I left many years ago.

>> Oh, okay.

>> I'm leaving tonight.

I'm going back to London where I live.

>> Oh, you're living in London.

>> Yeah.

>> Do you miss Dublin?

Well, you have a certain >> that's not funny >> empathy

and nostalgic feeling for the place you're from originally.

I'm not using my first name.

I'm using my middle name, which is James.

>> James.

Okay.

>> And that's what I'm calling myself because it doesn't cause a hassle, right?

>> I've never been happy with my first name.

>> You're a photographer, did you say?

>> Yes.

There's no money involved in this, you know.

There's no money involved.

>> You get the vibe

and I know you're not >> I'm not to scam you

or anything.

>> Yes, I know that.

But and I should take that as a compliment.

I look at myself in the this morning

and I I'm not happy with what I'm looking at.

You know, I've always had a sense of um >> appearance, right?

I since I was a young boy.

When you're not rich, I mean, if I was rich, I'd um I mean,

I've always had what I would regard as impeccable taste.

But now here I am, not rich.

And yet I I still make a slight effort.

You know, it's like if you haven't got money,

you you know what I'm saying?

I should have money off my own bet, you know,

because of my background and all the all the possibilities.

I should have I should, you know,

be like a a top lawyer or theoretically that was within my grasp, right?

To be a top professional and and to be pretty wealthy in that respect.

>> Yes.

>> I I missed that train.

>> Have you ever been married?

Do you have family?

>> I mentioned that before.

What was your name?

>> I'm Chris.

I >> I regard myself Chris's the greatest >> failure that ever walked the planet Earth.

>> Why?

>> Because I am because I I didn't achieve the very basics.

I'm the could have been man.

I call myself the could have been man.

I could have been right.

I'm the could have been man, but I ended up with nothing.

I didn't even get a life.

And I tried from the age of 13, you know,

and the girl I was looking was looking at the other geyser.

What is the most important lesson you think you've learned over the course of

your life?

>> Never wanted to put anybody down or bully.

You know, I have no tolerance for bullies

or put somebody down

or make fun of somebody.

If I if I could turn the clock back,

I wouldn't hesitate to tell people exactly how I feel,

which I didn't want to do.

Then I didn't want to hurt hurt anybody, right?

>> Yeah.

>> Just bought a necker shift.

>> You want to put on your necker shift if you want.

There's 9 million people in London and I don't have a single friend.

And I'm I'm not saying that like I'm crying.

That is the reality.

I lived overseas in the Americas, North America, South America.

And when I came back,

um they had all kind of disappeared

and I've been alone for the last 22 years.

When I was quite young, >> I didn't need any friends.

I'm chasing girls and I didn't want another guy.

I had the dawn to be able to chat up

and all those and they'd be

then they'd move in

or try to move in.

And of course, it never dawned on me I'd get to this age

and be practically penniles

and not have a profession

and all the rest of it,

which I I should have, right?

Or money.

I should have a profession.

I should have money.

I missed all of that.

I And not even a wife because I've been alone all of my life,

you know, since the age of four.

You could say I'm psychologically alone since the age of four.

My own mother was a piece of ice.

We had a horrifically bad relationship at one point.

Very difficult woman.

Piece of ice.

There was no physical contact.

>> Mhm.

>> Very strange.

Very Irish woman.

There was no hug.

There was no kiss.

There was no nothing.

It was I do remember

when I that school I was at

when I was four years of age.

There was another kid that after school I went to his house.

>> Mhm.

>> And his mother was all over him.

Right.

And I can even feel this to this very day, that feeling.

I I wish she was my mother.

And then you read about about some British English guy who's disappeared

or in jail in India

or Thailand and the parents fly over there.

>> Mhm.

Yeah.

>> When I came back from America, I stepped off the plane.

Nobody I've never been met at any airport in my life by anybody.

And I know in my heart I could have been taught in certain things.

The other thing I might tell you, Chris,

is I've always had it done for writing

and I wrote two plays

which I'm very proud of

and they've been sitting there for 20 years.

I' I've said recently that I make people laugh almost every day.

I haven't made you laugh because I've been very serious,

but I make people laugh every day without even trying. like I'm not trying

to be but and I said this is my greatest asset.

My only contribution is complete strangers that I talk to.

They crack up laughing sometimes.

Chris, I mean >> these people are wonder who is this famous guy.

>> You know, I don't have a bitterness,

but I could have but I don't have it right.

>> And you've been very friendly and gracious to me and kind.

And I appreciate that, James.

That's what that says a lot about your character.

Says a lot about your character.

But there are times um uh when you do feel low, you know,