The Most Valuable 18 Minutes You’ll Hear Today

When you were growing up in Longview Texas,

is this what you dreamed would happen to you someday?

>> No, ma'am.

Not at all.

Never really thought about it.

I don't know what I wanted to do at that time.

>> Growing up, uh who were your influences?

Who Did you see someone growing up on TV

or the movies who you thought like

that that person inspires me?

>> Look, the first step

that leads to our identity in life is usually not I know who I

am.

That's not the first step.

The first step is usually I know who I am not.

>> Working off of the truth is a a wonderfully liberating incentive for me.

It's a more more than a blueprint.

It's a it's the blueprint of what to work off of

and a responsibility to uphold.

And so, being a good man's a lot harder for good reason.

You're not going to be most popular.

You're not going to be always most affable.

Are you really chasing things that have meaning in your life?

Cuz things that have meaning take maintenance.

They break down.

It hurts.

It sucks.

We get bruised.

We get older and the

and and and the black

and whites turn to gray

and then then there's a great word compromise,

we all say, which is such a mature thing to do.

And the beauty of ignorance.

The things that we believed in.

I've gotten away with so many things because of my ignorance.

I'm I'm I'm I would be dead 14 times in this life

if I wouldn't have been ignorant of the situation I was in.

And my good man's not looking for trouble,

but if it comes

and if he or something he cares about must be susceptible,

good man does what he can to do to stop that.

These are the crumbs.

They come in the form of regret, guilt, and remorse.

You leave crumbs today, they will cause you more stress tomorrow.

>> But now that you're here, one of the top actors of the country, >> Yeah.

>> It's good place, huh?

>> Great place.

Yeah.

>> Would you change anything?

>> I wouldn't change anything.

Trying to think I'm going through my head right now where have I sacrificed

my own character to get ahead

so then to be perceived >> Uh-huh. >>

as and I know I've done it many times.

Being a marketer, too, you know.

Gotten away with stuff, played games, and da da da da da.

Kiss the fire and walk away whistling.

A little uh Icarus light.

>> Yeah.

>> So, I I grew up only knowing sort of the courage of the persistent.

Be resilient, endure, get up, dust yourself off, go.

The problem with that,

the Achilles heel with

that is if you get up

and get the courage to keep on going,

every time you get up and dust yourself off,

you make the same mistakes each time around cuz you never backed up.

To have what I've now learned, I'm still learning, is the courage to go,

"No, I'm going to let some people pass me in the race right now

cuz I'm going to look at why I keep stepping in

that damn same pothole

and twisting my ankle the same spot."

And that >> requires, I think,

a lot of courage

and hope and self-belief

and and faith in order to do to let go of something good >>

Yeah. >> for the chance at something

that you think could be great.

>> Yeah.

>> I think that's something

that a lot of people wish

that they had a little bit more fuel for.

>> It was a big risk.

It was a big chance and it it was no guaranteed return ticket.

It was a one-way ticket possibly to one-way ticket to a dead end.

Or to something new.

But a one-way ticket to a dead end in Hollywood

as an actor for sure.

Here we go.

If I stick with it,

this this will give me a home base to feel secure in even

though I'm stepping away from what has made me give me significance for

so many years and decades in my life.

You We're not going to get nervous at the goal line.

If we don't know where the goal line is,

we're not going to get down the line and go Oh,

I pull the parachute.

Even if it's a $14 million parachute.

Even if it's $14 million parachute.

Making that a choice that was inevitable,

that there was no pull in the parachute on,

sure as hell helped with the endurance of me being away for what was

20 months.

That 20 months was really hard.

And I've said it before,

that proverbial bottle on the shelf was looking better

and better earlier in the day

as time went on.

I mean, to me,

how many how many more times could I work in the damn garden, man?

I'm like, I'm not a gardener for life.

I like this, but I got to I got to Come on, man.

I did have a real belief, whether I was tricking myself or not,

that there's there's a bigger pot of gold for me on the other side

of this if I just out endure it.

I I'll out endure this summit.

And it became a little like the year in Australia.

I started I got a little I started to gain pride

and honor with the longer the minutes went on of being without what I

wanted.

I started to be like, well, I'm not definitely backing out now, man.

I'm 6 months in.

>> Turns into momentum.

>> A whole another year later, I'm like, I'm a year in, man.

This is getting good, okay.

>> >> Come on.

And then, the scary part was I started to entertain the idea of Yeah,

man.

>> >> It may just be how it is now.

And that scared me.

And then I got angry at that,

and I'm still in the midst of some anger with that.

Which is a bit of that rage thing,

which make me act upon it and go, "Bullshit.

Mhm, I'm not conceding,

and I don't think anyone really wants to concede

that that's just the way it is.

And if it is the way it is,

and the reality is not enough to get off to,

>> >> let's go to the dream.

Let's flip that script.

I want to fight against it.

So, I flipped it and said, "Let's go to dreams.

Let's go to pray poems, prayers.

These are pursuits of an ideal beauty.

These are in between the lines.

This is in between the math.

This is not academic.

This is not intellectual.

These are ideals that we pursue.

The beginner's mind that we have as a child before we know worse.

And I don't want to be ignorant.

I don't want to be foolishly optimistic.

Let's look to those and believe that we can still make those real.

Let that bring rhyme to the reason instead of looking to the reason you

find the rhyme.

>> >> More backbone to hold on and be principled to what I stand for,

what I stand against

when it becomes easier

and easier to just go with the flow.

And I'm not ready to go, let's just go with the flow.

I just want to I want to I don't want to pick the wrong

battles.

I'm trying trying to be discerning and not picking the wrong fights.

Cuz I like picking fights and going after challenges.

But, I'm going to play kind of like man,

I it it's tough duty to win the fair fights.

And there's a lot of unfair fights out there.

And why do I want to spend my time

if I got 24 hours a day picking unfair fights

when I'm going to be busting my ass to win the fair ones?

>> Well, also picking fights with yourself.

You know, you hinted just there at the difficulty of a a negative inner

voice.

You know, you take things seriously.

You care about what you're doing.

You want to achieve things in this world.

Which means that you need to have high standards.

You need to posit an ideal.

But, as soon as you posit an ideal you

then begin to compare yourself to

that ideal.

And often you find yourself lacking because it's a ideal.

>> Yep.

So, you see every day, every week, every month,

and every year in my life my hero's always 10 years away.

I'm never going to be my hero.

>> >> I'm not going to attain that.

I know I'm not.

And that's just fine with me cuz

that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

Going to take punk rock, or rage.

It's going to take getting wild.

It's not going to be necessarily logical.

It's not going to be tame.

It's not going to be whispered, I don't think.

No emotion gets more done than rage.

For for good or for bad, it seems like rage really moves the needle.

You know what I mean?

And I think that

that emotion and that approach shouldn't be thrown out

when you're talking about a pursuit of peace

and or contentment.

I think it it takes sweat equity.

It it would take blood being drawn.

I don't believe that we are

as evolved enough species to

as to just behave

as we intellectually can agree we should be.

I don't see it happening.

We can all agree with it.

In an open forum,

enough of us go back on our own and what we're doing.

You know?

It's a good idea.

But boy, when it's we're cornered and what we got's been possibly trespassed on,

we can be very primal.

>> Some lines need to be drawn.

>> I I believe so.

>> Model the rise, not the result.

>> I like that.

>> Model the rise, not the result, because the result is where they're at now.

Do not ask Warren Buffett about how long he spends reading the newspaper

and pouring over old books.

That guy was a hustler.

He was a hustler when he was young.

What did you do when you were at the stage that I am at?

Not what do you do now?

Because I want to get to where you are.

That means I don't do what you do now.

I do what you did to get there. >> study the result.

What was the person doing when they got there?

And everybody who's achieved something great was some sort of outlaw.

>> Yep.

>> Some sort of hustler.

Out of balance, out of whack, dark times.

Woo, still wakes up in the middle of the night

and glad they wear a mouth guard cuz they'd have chipped all their teeth

through that nightmare they were having about those things they did back

then.

I'm one of those.

Without complacency, trust the time is on your side.

>> What do you mean though?

>> Yeah, man.

Don't get ahead or behind it.

And I can get in a rush.

And I haven't found Look, and I know how to hustle and let's go.

The clock's ticking, we're all behind, all hands on deck.

We got to bust ass, no time for pause.

There's no sleep, no nothing.

Get the caffeine out, let's go.

>> Mhm.

>> Sometimes we got to do that.

But that is usually because an unforeseen circumstance has happened,

that there's a crisis we got to deal with,

or we've uh procrastinated

and I put myself in

that position where I got We got to cram.

But it's not those two circumstances.

We got to watch ourself getting ahead of time.

And it's on your side.

It's a little bit what I mean about the living longer

and living more quality.

Time's on our side >> >> and we're forced to think and feel, especially today,

with how fast things move, that more productivity, faster pace, more information, faster pace,

it's better.

We're We're at We're ahead of We're ahead of the time a lot.

And the time's still moving at the same speed.

And they're not given more than 24 hours a day, even though me,

like a lot of people, are looking for more.

There's just not There's not There's not any more unless you just want to

change your work day.

And some people do.

Me, I need my 9 and 1/2 hours sleep.

If I wanted to say I'm getting 4 hours sleep

and get 5 and 1/2 hours more of a work day to be more

productive,

I would, but I'm not to making that trade-off.

It's on our side.

It's the LEGO set, man.

And you sit there and you get in a rush,

you don't read the directions,

you get to the end and you've got 12 pieces left.

You're like, Because you got in a hurry.

You got ahead of time.

Instead of just that feeling of checked out what I need to do

and it's all adding up

and this thing's right in the foundation right in boom,

there's the last piece that fits.

Voilà.

It was with time.

Time's on our side.

It's not an enemy.

The end, death is not the enemy.

I do believe that part of, >> >> you know,

not in a rush to get there,

and we can stave we want to stave it off sometimes,

and that it can be a screaming fight,

and partially denial can help us get there.

I understand that, but still, it's on our side.

It's going to happen.

And since it's going to happen, and this that's non-negotiable,

might as well go Well,

I'm not going to rush to try

and make more of it than there is.

I want to try

and spend the time I got

as well as I can,

>> >> produce, succeed, achieve, all whatever those things are,

but also at a pace that I mean,

that I that I that I I like I like to dance to.

I I I like the give and the take.

I like the reverb.

I like the the cause

and effect of how things are happening at this pace.

The rom-com time, that was definitely me doing the work I was doing,

and only being able to do the work I was doing,

and offer the roles I was getting in rom-coms, was eating at me.

Cuz I felt like I could Life is good, man.

I make good money.

Feel like I can roll out of bed

and do one of these tomorrow morning.

Well, that's cool.

I'm the I'm the I'm the go-to guy for this.

I was countered by I had met Camilla, fallen in love,

she's now pregnant with her first child.

>> >> My life was extremely vital, and I was alive, cried harder, laughed louder,

felt more joy, all those things, but my work was like, all right.

And I was like, well,

I wish my work could >> >> be as challenging or as vital as my life.

And I remember looking in the mirror going, well, be glad right now.

Appreciate that it's not the other way around.

But can I have my work challenge my lifestyle in this vitality?

Yeah, if I do some dramas I want to do Well, those aren't coming.

All right, if I can't do what I want to do,

let me quit doing what I was doing.

Now, that was Yeah, it was definitely courageous.

I did >> >> I did honestly think I'd written myself a one-way ticket

out of Hollywood.

People close to me basically, almost everybody besides my wife was like,

"What is your major malfunction, little brother?

You've got it made.

Why Why are you doing a jackknife in this stuff?

Why are you tripping yourself running downhill, man?

You you you did it."

Um I had my wife

and myself to remind myself for

that 4:00 a.m. clarity

that I had in tears

when I was like,

"No.

I'm I'm I'm I'm rolling the dice.

I'm sticking with it."

Huh.

Yeah, man.

I did think I wrote myself a ticket out of Hollywood.

I did look at other vocations, become a teacher, a wildlife guide.

I would seriously consider those things.

But, over time, and it was about 20 months, it was gone long enough,

had found anonymity enough,

was not in your living room in a theater in a rom-com.

You didn't see me on a beat shirtless.

Uh where is he?

Turning down the $14.5 million offer, maybe people go,

"Oh what's he up to?"

You don't just You don't just step out of Hollywood

and enter unless you got You turn

that down cuz you got a plan.

You got somewhere you wanted to go,

and I think that made me more attractive as a new novel idea.

But, that was Yeah,

that risk took it I think it's fair to say

that took a fair amount of courage from me.

>> For a lot of people, their work feels more vital than their life.

>> Yeah.

>> Is that a a shiny object mirage that they need to rid themselves of?

>> If you can and you're willing to, yeah.

Look, that's the part of why I started writing.

But, script flipped on me 5 years ago.

It was like I was feeling like my work was more vital than my

life.

I felt like I was going through the motions more in my life,

but I was really getting major life >> >> experiences in through my work.

And so, that was a challenge to myself, which led to the the writing,

which was a more direct experience.

Going to put a word down without It's my script

and without my performance on it.

Without music, without pictures.

So, that was an inward journey that I'm that I'm still on.

Yes.

Confidence.

Identity.

Testing it out and it can work.

Confidence to go, "I'm going to try and pull this off.

Maybe get away with it.

Maybe it won't work."

Pulling things off.

And I have an innate ability for something

that I believe I have the innate ability.

And I learn to the reason behind

that instinct and how to how to Where's the right time?

Timing.

Oh, it'll work.

I think right here.

Who's the audience I'm talking to?

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to make a plan for that sale.

If it's all sales, for that transaction or whatever it is.

And bam, it hits and it lands like I wanted it to.

Darn damn it, was that déjà vu?

It happened.

That's how I saw it.

That I get confidence from that.

It's I don't think it's what the mystics meant when they were like,

"Be detached."

Like it mean go embrace, but for highs and lows and pains and pleasures,

understand that those outward things are not the things to be attached to for

your own identity.

You have that It's got to be inward first.

Enjoy those.

Partake.

But, don't become attached to those for your measure.

>> If you're tired of waking up unmotivated,

it is time you download the Mindset Daily Motivation app

and start your day with new motivational alarms.

>> Let's go!