The Napoleonic Wars - OverSimplified (Part 1)

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okay mrs bonaparte this is it one last push and we're done

congratulations it's a general

oh and here comes the rest of the army now

uh did you just say the rest of the

art history is full of great conquerors

many with very impressive origin stories

for example alexander the great was the son of a king

julius caesar came from an aristocratic

family that descended from a goddess

great conquerors don't usually come from relatively

insignificant families living on impoverished

islands but as it just so happens

that is where our story

begins in the early 18th century the island of corsica

was a part of the republic of

until one day corsica said hey we're declaring independence

and it's probably not worth your time to try and stop us so genoa

said you're right it isn't worth their time hey friends you want to buy

this island and france said sure thing

and thus corsica became france

just in time for napoleon

to be born french

many corsicans didn't appreciate their new conquerors

however and from an early age napoleon developed some fairly anti-french

sentiments napoleon's dad however quickly embraced his new french overlords

which created some tension between dad and son

look at me i'm dad i wear powdered wigs and silver buckle shoes and

i'm a traitor to the corsican people go to your room napoleon

no you go to your room dad

okay on the other hand napoleon adored his mother who was definitely the disciplinarian

of the family and even though she would punish napoleon

he kind of respected that but napoleon's

parents wanted the best for their family and since they were a very minor

nobility they were able to have napoleon sent off to the shining lights and

rat infested sewage puddles of the big city napoleon

went to military school in

okay napoleon why don't you introduce yourself to your new classmates

well i'm napoleon and i hate all of you your farts smell like cheese

you can't pronounce the letter r all you do is go on strike and

you call eggs oops like a bunch of big dumb idiot

okay thanks napoleon i hope you like being bullied and bullied

he was they picked on him for his corsican

accent his family's lack of

and it probably didn't help that he also had a bit of a chip

on his shoulder but he could hold his own and on an average

might be found dishing out ratatouille

sandwiches for breakfast he spent much of his time alone and he loved reading

about the great conquerors

of history he learned about julius caesar and he wondered if one day he

too might have a pizza franchise named after him

he excelled at math and geography

and when he graduated at the age of 16

he was made second lieutenant

in an artillery regiment

now second lieutenant might sound pretty sweet to a screw-up

like you but napoleon

had a little something called

ambition stonks of it and he wasn't content being just some junior officer

he wanted to rise the ranks

unfortunately for him that would be a little difficult

well napoleon i've reviewed your application

it's clear you're very skilled and would be a perfect fit for the promotion

and simeon you're just about the biggest idiot i've ever seen your test results

suggest you have the mental aptitude of a senile earthworm and in the part

of the form where you list your experience

you seem to have drawn a picture of a gerbil giving birth to a

shoe but your dad is the marquis de la fu fayette

you get the job

french society was just too closed off

positions were handed out based on nobility

not talent and the young napoleon

probably felt stuck wouldn't it be nice if say

a revolution came along and changed all of that

well what are the chances

the french revolution is here

best deal toppling head shopping

king popping the revolution

promised to do away with the old social hierarchy

and make everyone a little more equal

napoleon may not have cared much for the violent mobs but if it meant

he could rise the ranks

he was in he began fighting to defend the revolution

he put down a british-sponsored

counter-revolution in and got promoted

he put down a royalist uprising in paris

and got promoted and as his military prowess became more recognized

he was even given his very own army

it was astonishing progress for such a young man of humble

and napoleon's wildest dreams

were coming true but napoleon

also believed he could increase his social status

if he married an older rich lady and so around this

napoleon went on the prowl

however if some sources are to be believed

he was a verified

creep he reportedly had terrible luck with woman and most wanted nothing to do

with him fortunately he eventually met josephine

an aging single mother who was deeply in debt and needed stability

so she agreed to marry him despite finding him intensely

napoleon you dirty dog

you've done it unbeknownst

to napoleon however josephine

had a bit of a promiscuous

reputation hey napoleon i hear you're marrying josephine

boy she sure is a great kisser

that's right hey wait what do you mean she's a great kisser hey hugo

you hear napoleon's marrying josephine

wow she sure is a great kisser

now hang on just a minute hey everyone

napoleon's marrying josephine oh yeah

yeah sure is a great kid

i'm pretty sure i kissed you just yesterday

sake is there anyone here who hasn't kissed my wife

yeah you as napoleon fell madly in love with his new wife she fell

madly in love with a man named hippolyte

it wouldn't be long however before napoleon would leave home and go to war

because while france was having its revolution

tensions in europe were rising

hey austria you'll never guess what we just

what's that friends i got two words for you

revo lucian we totally just socked it to our

what dude the rest of us are monarchies

you've just totally threatened the balance of power in europe now we have to

worry about our stinky peasants rising up against us i mean holy hell your

queen is okay friends this is pretty awkward

and the rest of europe is probably itching to give you a wedgie

but you're not ready for a war yet so you gotta be cool man

it's absolutely that you say something to defuse the situation

right now preposterous i declare war

so france ended up at war with basically

the rest of europe and the war of the first coalition

began at first france struggled but then they started to do surprisingly

well and in many conquered territories

they began to establish

sister republics exporting their revolutionary

ideas across europe in 1796

they planned a three-pronged attack to take vienna and knock austria

out of the war with two magnificent

armies in the north to kick ass and napoleon

in the south has a bit of a diversion

for the first time napoleon would lead a military

campaign this was his chance to prove himself

to be somebody and what a general he proved to be

the army he was given were demoralized

lacking equipment and underpaid

but napoleon galvanized them with inspirational

speeches and he took them into italy

he was outnumbered and his campaign was partially meant to be a sideshow

but he made it the main show while the two northern armies were being

held back napoleon made staggering

progress in a signature napoleon

move he masterfully split his enemies into two and took them on separately

knocking sardinia out of the war and putting the austrians

on the run at the famous battle of lodi he was in the fray

aiming the cannons himself

getting covered in mud and earning the total

of his men they respected him so much that when he ordered an almost

suicidal assault on the only bridge in town his

threw themselves at it and took it despite fierce austrian resistance

for napoleon it was all he needed to confirm that he was the greatest

human who had ever existed

wow napoleon you're pretty great at this military stuff

just be careful your head doesn't get too big what did you just say

to me a little prick and as napoleon swept through northern italy the italians

cheered his arrival yes

i'm here to liberate you from your cruel

austrian oppressors and replace them with french ones

napoleon plundered as he went sending riches back to france to help its economy

but also paying his men the first real money they'd seen in years the

pope had been supporting the austrians

so napoleon briefly went to go give him a slap and as he began

to approach vienna the exhausted

austrians were forced to make peace with napoleon

overseeing negotiations himself he had just single-handedly

knocked austria out of the war

and by the way he was only 28

so maybe it's about time you moved out of your dad's attic in the

italian territories he had conquered napoleon

established new french sister republics

even writing constitutions and organizing governments himself

not something a general

generally does when he got back to france he was hailed as a hero

and the extremely unpopular

government were concerned he might get some power-hungry

ideas so they agreed he should go far away from france

to egypt where he could maybe undermine british access to india

napoleon was eager to win more glory

so he brought with him a team of scholars

and he was like whoa it's a freaky man cat whoa it's a big

stick well it's an ugly horse whoa it's a stumpy little manlet

hey i'm actually average height for the

but then british admiral nelson came down and wrecked his fleet and an anglo-ottoman

force defeated him at acre so napoleon abandoned his men and went back to

france his campaign in egypt hadn't gone quite as planned

but one thing you should know about napoleon

was that he was a skilled

he published his own newspapers

that sometimes exaggerated his achievements

and even commissioned paintings that generally made him look cool so when he returned

to paris he was yet again hailed as a hero and he began to

get some power hungry ideas

first however he had a bit of a problem to deal with see he

had learned something shocking

about his dear wife

really josephine this guy

i'm just as tall as him i'm

i swear now that you're becoming famous

i'll never do it again

make sure you don't

i've never stooped so louis to cheat on you now if you'll excuse

me i'll be in this room consulting

my generals for the next

minutes and by consulting

i mean boinking by my generals

i mean this woman

and by 30 minutes

i mean two seconds

having dealt with his wife napoleon was then approached by a very influential

politician who said he had an idea

he wanted to stage a coup against the deeply unpopular government and needed the

extremely popular napoleon's help and napoleon thought that was just the darn tootiness

idea the plan was to trap the government and convince him to voluntarily

give up their power

and here's how they did it hey guys oh my gosh quick there's a

dangerous jacobin plot to overthrow you which we definitely aren't just making up better

get inside this cage so we can protect you

okay gentlemen we got him

in this case the cage was an isolated palace outside of paris with no

one around but napoleon

and his army with the government inside

napoleon then entered and a pretty chaotic event ensued

during which the government didn't seem entirely sure what was going on napoleon's

men didn't seem entirely sure what was going on and napoleon himself

didn't seem entirely sure what was going on but thankfully napoleon's brother

president of the lower house managed to regain control and the remaining councilmen were

intimidated into creating a new constitution

and thus a new government was formed this

with three consuls in charge but after napoleon did some rewriting

in the end there was really only one man in charge

the first consul him and over the next few years he worked to consolidate

even more power and essentially became a dictator

in total control of france

by the way he was only 30.

so maybe it's about time you washed your disgusting

bed sheets france was now ruled by possibly the greatest military

of the time possibly the greatest

or well now is his chance

to prove it see

back when napoleon was still in egypt being indiana jones

back home france was in france

being france they had conquered

even more territory and they were like hey piedmont

you get revolutionary hey switzerland

you get revolutionary ideals

and rome you get revolutionary

ideals everybody gets revolutionary

oh hey guys nice sledgehammers

and naples very cool nail gun you guys here to get some revolutionary

as france was still spreading the revolution

and with napoleon busy in egypt the european powers felt the time was right

for round two and the war of the second coalition

began and this time their big bad boy buddy russia was here to bang

some french boys back to

and bang him they did france

got blasted but then russia pulled out after stalling in switzerland

and now that napoleon

was in charge of the country he was ready to start blasting

right back he took command of the army of the reserve

and he brought the fight to the

now there are many traits that made napoleon

a great military leader

i already mentioned one of them how he was one of the boys and

commanded the total loyalty of his men but now we see a second reason

the element of surprise

in 1800 napoleon moved to geneva

and it looked like he was probably going to take on the austrian forces

in germany there's no way he'd be crazy enough to move his entire army

south to the alps as a surprise attack on the austrians besieging genoa

oh napoleon's moving his entire army south through the alps as a surprise attack

on the austrians besieging genoa

napoleon's crossing of the alps is legendary

and you may have seen one of the most famous paintings of the general

popping a sick wheelie on his majestic stallion surrounded by dangerous mountain terrain

of course in real life he made the crossing on a depressed

mule but that's not as cool when he emerged in italy the austrians expected

him to come break their siege but napoleon went for their supply line near

milan forcing the austrians to meet napoleon head-on at the famous battle of

the austrians initially clobbered the outnumbered french and they were like hooray

we won but then a few hours later napoleon showed up again with an

even bigger army and he clobbered them right

holy cow this tiny little fun-sized french guy is running rings around us all

right i'm average height for the time you jerk then after general morrow's victory

at hohen linden vienna

was exposed and the austrians again sued for peace

just like the war of the first coalition

the second coalition ended in another french victory

but in many ways they both felt more like napoleon

victories only the uk remained at war with napoleon

and they were using their powerful navy to blockade french ports and were even

seizing the cargos of neutral ships

obviously everyone else got pretty pissed off that the british were interfering with their

trade so in they formed a league and they embargoed the uk right back

neutral countries protecting their own interests

that's offensive so britain went to copenhagen

and blew a bunch of up and the league disbanded

but because the uk's economy was pretty bust they decided to sign a treaty

with france in 1802

for the first time in a long time

europe was at peace

congratulations sire you've achieved peace

yes pierre but not for long i still don't trust those dirty brits

did you hear they've been calling me the bony men what does that even

mean keep an eye on them would you i can't

sire why not because they use

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so thank now where were we

oh yeah crossing the

defeating the austrians and europe

at peace what a meteoric

rise it had been for the young corsican

he had just taken charge of a nation that appeared to be losing a

war and turned it all around

securing french gains in europe

but there was now a big question

you see throughout the chaotic french revolution

french governments had struggled to keep the economy afloat

they often didn't have a whole lot of support and they frequently came and

went would napoleon finally be the man who could stick around

military victories were one thing but could the general also govern

spoiler alert yes the economy is crumbling well then why don't you have yourself

a new national bank currency reform and improve taxation

and welfare the legal system is an incoherent

mess well then why don't we nicely wrap all those civil laws up into

one new legal code corrupt government officials

throw them in the trash

bad infrastructure throw it in the trash woman's rights

throw him in the trash

wait really well yeah unfortunately

while napoleon was building on the equality

of the revolution he also largely scaled back rights for certain

and husbands had full legal control

over their wives but come on ladies

maybe let men have a slice of the pie for once

okay napoleon further reformed education

ensuring a system based on individual

meaning now simeon had to compete with everyone else and napoleon

could get the cream of the crop to help him run the

but he wasn't just building on the ideas of the revolution

the revolution had led to a lot of chaos and napoleon

needed stability so he rolled back a couple things most notably

with religion the revolution

had pretty much kicked the catholic church to the curb but napoleon

understood that since many french citizens

still considered themselves catholic

that could be a problem so he came to an agreement with the pope

and brought back the church only this time with some pretty hefty power limitations

he also ensured freedom for other religions

and is often noted for his positive treatment of jewish people at a time

of widespread anti-semitism but while all of this may make napoleon sound like a

pretty stand-up dude it's good to note that he believed in religious freedom because

he thought it was a powerful tool to keep the poor from eating the

rich or something like that

overall napoleon's aim was to end the chaos of the revolution

and finally create a stable and prospering

french republic and in that aim he seemed to be largely successful

and generally popular with the people of france

he officially declared that the revolution

is over adding i am the revolution

napoleon's head could be seen for miles

of course not everyone was happy with napoleon's

reforms conservatives felt he was too radical

radicals felt he was too conservative

but since napoleon was a dictator

opposition could usually be stamped out with some good old-fashioned

iron in 1804 napoleon

took one last major

after some failed attempts were made to assassinate

him he wanted to strengthen his position

and ensure his dynasty

could live on after him and so he decided being first council for life

simply wasn't quite enough

he decided he should become

emperor he held a vote asking the french people if they were cool with

the idea and they returned a definitely

not 99.9 in favor

the balls on this man and so on the 2nd of december

1804 in an elaborate ceremony at notre dame napoleon

was made emperor the pope was even invited to attend

and normally he would crown an emperor but to make sure everyone knew this

wasn't some charlemagne style circular power

napoleon lifted the crown and placed it on his own head

like i said the balls on this man

he was emperor of the french

well napoleon you were a general then he became first consul for life and

now you're an emperor

is it enough yet

is your ambition finally satisfied

i don't know pierre what comes after emperor

i would say god sire

you want to be a

god yes i'll put it down under maybe okay everyone

what the hell is going on this core skin guy showed up out of

nowhere and he's kicking our ass he's exporting the ideas of the french revolution

wherever he goes and he just declared himself king of italy and emperor

he can't do that

i'm the emperor oh hey fellow monarchs

i see you're having a monarch party

my invite must have got lost in the mail i'll just set up a

spot right here wow

you don't belong here napoleon

we're coming to take you down i'd like to see you try

i'm so scared i just pooed my pants

hey everyone i just pooed my

pants no but i

did just poo my pants before napoleon had even declared himself emperor the british

had already redeclared war on france because both sides had been violating their previous

napoleon immediately occupied hanover and then began making plans for a great british

invasion partially paid for by selling a huge chunk of land to the united

states napoleon gathered his army along the english channel but here was the problem

while napoleon's powerful army would almost certainly obliterate

the british on land there was very little chance he'd actually make it across

the channel because britannia

ruled the waves this power dynamic would keep the two traditional enemies from engaging

in much real direct combat throughout the napoleonic

wars however the british had something else up their sleeve

copious amounts of money they were willing to throw cash at anyone who would

go to war against napoleon

and there were plenty of takers

austria russia naples and sweden hoping to put napoleon's

france back in its

formed the third coalition

against france the coalition

forces probably thought that this time they stood a chance

they weren't prepared for the total humiliation

they were about to suffer

the war of the third coalition

was napoleon at his best

we've already learned two ways in which napoleon was a great military commander

but here comes one of the biggest

speed he had reorganized

his army into cores which were themselves

basically small armies each had their own infantry cavalry

and artillery and as a result was able to act more independently

they spread out through the countryside

and by living off the land rather than relying on heavy supply trains they

were able to move extremely

quickly napoleon would traverse massive

outmaneuver his enemies isolate

them and then move in for the kill

before they even knew what was going on

lightning warfare leading to total destruction

would you like to see him do

here we go part of the coalition's

plan was for the russians to meet up with the austrians

and take on napoleon together

combined they could turn the tide against him so napoleon

needed to stop them from ever meeting but he's all the way over in

bologna no problem in a matter of weeks napoleon

marched 200 000 men in secret

encircling austrian general mack and capturing

his entire army a devastating

blow napoleon later remarked i have destroyed the austrian army by simply marching

next he turned to face the approaching russians

okay it looks like the french are coming for us but check this out

i've got an amazing idea

when they we run

away sir you're a genius the russians began to retreat with napoleon

giving chase and since his tactics relied on quick victories

this could be a problem especially

because the longer the war went on the more likely it looked other countries

may join the coalition

against him but napoleon

knew the russians are alexander

the first was young and seeking glory so he came up with an idea

to lure him in he sent him a message

what does it say

it says hello i'm just a widdle baby boy

and i'm very scared

are you talking like that or is he he is

why is he doing that i don't know but it's very cute helpless and

vulnerable hmm a little baby

boy eh very scared

eh cute hey boris

get my crossbow we're going

the allied forces turned to face napoleon

who they now believed was in a vulnerable position

he was set up at austerlitz

and to make it look like he was retreating

he had even evacuated

the high ground a thick fog set in obscuring napoleon's

center as the allies took the bait and set up on the heights

from there they spotted napoleon's

very weak looking right flank

and they descended the heights to go get it little did they know it

was exactly what napoleon

was hoping they'd do

the next thing they knew a large french force was emerging from the

launching a huge central assault

up the hill they swung around crushing the allies

and as men attempted to flee across the frozen lakes napoleon

ordered his artillery to fire on the ice causing an unknown number

to drown but he told me he was just a little baby boy what

happened he tricked you sir

you i was the little baby boy all along

it was napoleon's masterpiece

and austria were once again forced to make peace with france

then with the french conquest of naples in 1806

the war of the third coalition

ended as yet another

napoleon victory this was the third time napoleon had had to give austrian emperor

francis a good spanking

and so with the peace treaty in 1805

napoleon was determined to punish him he was forced to give up territory

hand over significant compensation

and promised never to fight napoleon

again for now russia

sweden and the uk

remained at war with france but none were able to offer much of a

threat and so napoleon

got to work strengthening

his grip over europe

he gave out rule of captured territories

to his family and friends and most notably he established a new confederation

in germany with himself

as its protector seeing his influence in germany being wiped away emperor francis

acknowledged reality and officially dissolved

the holy roman an entity that had existed for over a thousand years

but it wasn't all good news for napoleon

for one thing spain had earlier allied with france in 1804

because the british just couldn't help themselves from blowing up spanish ships and napoleon

hoped a combined french spanish fleet would eventually be able to invade england

unfortunately he received word that british admiral nelson had engaged his fleet at trafalgar

normally naval battles looked like this but in this case nelson

did this was it because he was an idiot

no it's because he was a genius

he successfully punched through the franco spanish line and unleashed

hell his victory ensured british control of the sea and his death during the

battle made him a legend

napoleon's hopes for a future british invasion

were gone but not just that napoleon was also hoping to secure peace on

the continent but that wasn't looking likely because the prussian king was under pressure

from his wife frederick

he's established a confederation

in our turf and he told us he'd give us hannover but then offered

it to the british

you have to declare war on him what is it with you and war

what is it with you and being a cupcake

go to war okay in october

1806 prussia with its famed military

tradition joined the coalition

and declared war beginning the war of the fourth

unfortunately prussian king frederick william iii wasn't the smartest tool in the shed

look at him over there being all french

makes me sick boys

we'll get him this time but here's the thing

this time we have to stick together

do not under any circumstances

face napoleon by yourself

you all saw what happened to austria

hey where'd fred go hey you jerk think you're some kind of big shot

huh wanna tangle with fred you don't got the cajones

we're screwed without consulting its allies prussia had gone ahead and sent napoleon an

ultimatum demanding he move all his

out of germany now some of you watching this video probably can't even wipe

your own bum bum yet but even you know you don't just send napoleon

an ultimatum obviously napoleon went in for the kill

prussia's army was quite outdated

so when they met napoleon

at the twin battles of yena and oursted

it wasn't even close

even marshall davu's heavily outnumbered court aurstat

sent the prussians running and napoleon

carried out a ruthless pursuit of his fleeing enemy taking berlin and within a

single month decimating the prussian forces

frederick william and the remnants of his army moved to the east

at this point napoleon's

forces were pretty tired

winter had come and conditions

were miserable he anticipated

both sides would settle into winter quarters

but russia decided to try their hand at an unexpected

winter attack a series of brutal battles followed that took a heavy toll on

both sides including the vicious battle of ayla fought in blizzard

men froze to death

and many deserted the russian artillery

tore the french to shreds

and napoleon himself was momentarily

under risk of being captured

in the end the french army was saved thanks to a legendary

cavalry charge by napoleon's flamboyant

cavalry commander miura after the horror inflicted on both

they decided it might be a good idea not to do any more fighting

until after then after winter came and the fighting continued

the russians were pushed back to friedland

where russian general bennigsen

made a bit of a blunder by positioning

himself with the aloe river to his back

the french artillery were able to pin the russians between the river and their

concentrated gunfire a major element in napoleon's

fighting style and many russians drowned as they tried to escape

war of the fourth coalition victory napoleon