DON’T WASTE YOUR LIFE IN 2026 - Jordan Peterson Motivational Speech

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If you could have what you wanted in this moment

and I could deliver it,

>> >> what would it be?

How much of the mess

that you see around you would vanish

if the mess that you could put straight was put straight?

The question always is, why do something?

Cuz doing nothing is easy.

You just sit there and you don't do anything.

That's real easy.

The question is, why would you ever do anything?

And the answer to

that has to be

because you've determined by some means

that it's worthwhile.

In many In many ways, that's what you should be doing at universities.

It's That's exactly what you should be doing is trying to figure out who

it is that you're trying to be,

right?

And you You aim at that.

And then you use everything you learn

as a means of building

that person that you want to be.

And And I really mean want to be.

I don't mean should be, even those things Those things are going to overlap.

You know perfectly well

that if you put your mind to it

and you make the proper sacrifices,

there are things you can set straight.

What advice do you have for a young man in his 20s?

Make a plan.

Look at what you're interested in.

Get disciplined about something.

>> >> Allow for the possibility

that you have something important to contribute to the world

and that the world would be a lesser place without

that contribution.

Don't be afraid of taking on responsibility.

It's where you find what sustains you in your life.

You can take on too much responsibility.

You You have to be cautious in that regard,

but that's a less common problem than not taking on enough.

>> >> A lot of the things

that people regard as traps are actually >> >> the means to their life.

And then the next question might be, well,

where should you look for worthwhile things?

And one would be, well, you could consult your own temperament.

And the other would be, well,

you kind of look at how Look at what it is

that people accrue that's valuable across the lifespan.

But the way other way you do

that is by having a little conversation with yourself about

as if you don't really know who you are

because you know what you're like.

You won't do what you're told.

You won't do what you tell yourself to do.

You must have noticed that.

It's like you're a bad employee and a worse boss.

And And both of those work, you know, for you.

You don't know what you want to do.

And then when you tell yourself what to do, you don't do it anyways.

You should fire yourself and find someone else to be.

You have to understand that you're not your own servant, so to speak.

You're someone that you have to negotiate with.

And that's And you're someone

that you want to present the opportunity of having a good life to.

And that's hard for people cuz they don't like themselves very much.

So, you know, they're always like cracking the whip

and then procrastinating and cracking the whip

and then procrastinating.

And it's like, God,

it's so boring and such a pathetic way of spending your time.

And you know what that's like cuz you probably waste like 6 hours a

day.

You have to believe

that your action has some redemptive possibility cuz why would you do it otherwise?

And you might say, well, I kind of believe that.

It's like, well, that's not good enough.

You know, you kind of got to throw yourself all into it.

And what's the cost anyways?

It's not like you're going to get out of this alive.

So, you're pretty much all in whether you want to be or not.

And maybe if you were voluntarily all in,

things would be a lot better than they are.

>> >> If the world isn't everything that you want it to be,

maybe you're not acting the way you should.

One of the things people do to >> >> buttress themselves against failure is

to never let themselves really gain clarity about what they need

and want.

Let's say you try something, but you only do it half-heartedly.

And then you fail and you think, well, I didn't really fail because,

you know, I held a bunch back in reserve.

And so, I didn't get what I wanted,

but maybe had I been all in, I would have.

And so, you don't have to upbraid yourself too much for the failure.

Now, it's a catastrophic way to live to sit on the fence

and to not commit

because instead of risking the possibility of failure,

you engage in what's essentially the absolute certainty of failure.

Because if you want something worthwhile and difficult,

which you probably do if you want to have an adventure and go somewhere,

then what's the chance you're going to get it if you're halfway in?

You can't be halfway in,

but that sort of protects you against failure cuz you can tell yourself, well,

if I tried I could have done it.

It's like, you know, you tell yourself that 200 times and your life's over.

Okay, so once you get your goal structure set up, you think, okay,

if I can have this life,

looks like that might be worth living despite the fact

that it's going to be,

you know, anxiety-provoking and threatening

and there's going to be some suffering

and loss involved in all of

that,

obviously.

The goal is to to have a vision for your life such that,

all things considered, that justifies your effort.

>> >> Okay, so then what do you do?

Well, then then you turn down to the micro routines.

Like, okay, well, this is what I'm aiming for.

How does that instantiate itself day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month?

And that's where something like a schedule can be unbelievably useful.

Google Calendar.

It's like, make a damn schedule and stick to it.

Okay, so what's the rule with a schedule?

It's not a bloody prison.

That's the first thing that people do wrong is, well,

I don't like to have follow a schedule.

It's like, well, what kind of schedule are you setting up?

Well, I I have to do this, then I have to do this,

then I have to do this, you know,

and then I just go play video games

because who wants to do all these things

that I have to do?

Set the damn schedule up so that you have the day you want.

If I was going to set it up

so it was the best possible day I could have,

what would it look like?

>> >> Better have a valued goal

because otherwise you can't get any positive motivation working out.

And so, the more valuable the goal, in principle,

the more the micro processes associated with

that goal >> >> start to take on a positive charge.

And so, what that means is, well,

you get up in the morning and you're excited about the day.

You're ready to go.

And so, as far as I can tell,

what you do is you specify your long-term ideal.

You specify your goal.

You do that in some sense as a unique individual.

You want to You want to specify goals that make you say, oh,

if that could happen as a consequence of my efforts,

it would clearly be worthwhile.

So, if you keep yourself all vague and foggy,

which is real easy cuz that's just a matter of not doing as well,

then you don't know when you fail.

And people might say, well,

I really don't want to know when I fail because that's painful.

So, I'll I'll keep myself blind about when I fail.

That's fine, except you'll fail all the time then.

You just won't know it until you failed so badly that you're done.

Would it really be so terrible if my life wasn't miserable?

Would it be so terrible if I got what I wanted and needed,

especially if I was doing that in the best possible way?

You say you are morally obligated to do remarkable things.

Mhm.

Why?

Well, I think partly

because life is so difficult

and challenging that unless you give it everything you have,

the chances are very high

that it will embitter you

and then you'll be a force for darkness

and not good.

You know, the the fact

that life is short

and can be brutal can terrify you into hiding

and avoiding,

but it it can also You can flip

that on its head

and understand that since you're all in anyways,

you might as well take take the risks that are adventurous.

And that's a very good thing to understand.

And what is also useful to understand in

that manner is that there isn't anything more adventurous than the truth.

This is something that took me a long time to figure out.

Well, you can craft your words to get what you want, you know,

and people do that all the time.

They craft their words

so they can avoid taking responsibility for things they should take responsibility for,

or they can craft their words to gain an advantage

that they really don't deserve.

That's what you do when you manipulate.

And the problem with that, you might say, well,

why not do that if I can get what I want?

And the answer that is,

you aren't necessarily the best judge of what you need.

And it's easy to be deluded in what you want.

And that's the sort of delusions that people chase if they chase power.

If you decide instead

that you're going to just say what you believe to be true,

you have to let go of the consequences.

And you might think, well,

I don't want to let go of the consequences

because I want to control what's going on.

But what you miss

then is adventure because

if you don't control what's going on,

you don't know what the hell's going to happen.

And maybe that's exciting.

And actually, there's no doubt about it.

And then you have the additional advantage

if you're attempting to say what you believe to be true

and attempting to act in the manner

that you think is most appropriate,

that's genuinely you, and you have the force of reality behind you.

Obviously, that's what you have if you're trying to, say, live in the truth,

is you have the force of reality behind you.

That seems like a good deal.

Then you have the reality and the adventure.

So, why is that a moral obligation?

Well, if you hide and you don't let what's inside of you out,

and you don't bring into the world what you could bring,

and you become cynical and bitter, you will start doing very dark things.

So, you'll start Not only will you not add to the world what you

could add,

but you'll start being jealous of people who are competent

and doing well and work to destroy them.

So, that's the pathway to hell.

I don't know what the hell you should do with your life.

I can help you figure it out, maybe.

We can talk about it,

but you are the person who has to decide

if >> >> the things

that you're aiming for,

you know, get you out of bed in the morning.

Then you've got to specify the transformation processes and start practicing them.

And you have to understand that you're going to be bad at it,

but it doesn't matter because bad's fine.

Persistent is what you need to be.

If you persist with tiny improvements, if you persist, you you win.

It's direction that produces the primary that produces primary positive emotion.

And so, if you need positive emotion to move through life,

which you do cuz you can't even move without positive emotion,

and also positive emotion is a good bulwark against terror and pain,

if you need those things, then you need direction, you need a goal,

you need a value structure.

You let all that nonsense burn away.

And you might say, "Well, I don't know what I should leave behind."

And the answer to that is that's a lie.

All you have to do is ask yourself,

you'll come up with a list instantly of a hundred stupid things

that you're doing that you know you could stop doing.

Take on the consequences of error and learn from it.

And then then you win constantly because even if something goes sideways,

you think there's something to be derived from this.

When you when you're in the world and something objects to you,

something that matters objects to you,

then in the entire unrealized world is in that thing that objects.

It's all tangled up inside it.

That's why it's the great dragon of chaos.

It's everything that's outside of your conceptual structure.

And what is that?

It's everything that lurks outside of your of your walled city.

And it's manifested itself like the snake in the garden.

And the easiest thing to do is say,

"I'm not having anything to do with that."

But the problem with that is, well,

you get your C minus and you don't do anything about it.

Maybe you're a little bitter

and more resentful and your study habits get a little worse.

So, the next time you get like a D plus.

And then you collect a bunch of F's

and then you stop going to school

and then you stop showering,

right?

Then you end up jumping off the bridge.

And so, that's a That's That's how the dragon eats you

when you don't pay attention to it.

>> >> And so, it's no bloody wonder that people avoid, you know?

It's really no wonder

that they avoid because error messages contain within them the implicit world.

Now, the upside of that is, well, they contain within them the implicit world.

And the world isn't all negative.

And so, maybe you get your C minus

and that's actually the best gift you ever got cuz somebody finally took you

and went,

"Whack!

You know, clue in."

And so, you take that apart and you think, "Oh,

I don't know how to write.

I don't know how to think.

I've never read anything in my life.

My study habits are abysmal, you know?

Like maybe I'm working at 2% efficiency."

Which >> >> it's like you got to That's

so to find that out is

so optimistic.

I mean, if you're barely hanging in there, but you're only working at 2%,

you might imagine what you could have

as a life if you worked at like 50%.

So, so that the C can be the best gift you ever had.

And that's the gold that the dragon hoards.

That's exactly what that means.

That doesn't prove that you're stupid.

>> >> It now it implies that you might be stupid, but it doesn't Right, really,

it does.

And that's why you don't want to look at it.

Maybe it implies that you're lazy.

Implies that you're ignorant or like it implies all sorts of terrible.

But you don't want to leap to that.

And that's sort of the proclamation of innocence before guilt.

You are the thing that is and you're the thing that becomes.

And you should put the thing

that becomes at a higher place than the thing

that is.

That means you also have to allow yourself to shake off those things about

you that you might be pathologically attached to,

habits and people for that matter, ways of thinking, all of those things.

You have to allow yourself to shake those off.

And that's more like a burning.

That's why the phoenix is That's why the phoenix is the symbol

that it is,

right?

It's old and it deteriorates, it bursts into flame, and then it's reborn.

It's like, "Well, you want to be reborn?"

It's like, "That's not the question.

The question is, do you want to burst into flame?"

And the answer to that generally is no, but that's the wrong answer.

The right answer is you let all that nonsense burn away.

And so, then you look at the micro routines.

It's okay.

Well, I got a C minus in this course.

Maybe I should study for

that course 15 minutes more a day for the next 3 months.

And then you ask yourself, "Do you think you could do that?"

"No, I'm too useless."

Okay, how about 15 minutes every second day?

You think you could do that?

You put it in your schedule,

like 15 minutes every second day in the morning.

And that's Well, you think, "Well, what's wrong with me?"

Well, "I'm not very good at managing my study schedule."

That's not quite down here at the behavioral level,

but it's pretty close because what you you can take an action.

You can open up your schedule and you can say,

"I'll mark 15 minutes aside."

Then you can practice doing that.

It's pretty low level in the hierarchy.

Means while you're still not a horrible person,

you just got to polish up your work ethic.

It's like shut the hell up most of the time.

But now and then you don't shut up because it's time to say something.

You don't You don't want to make unnecessary enemies, though.

Well, you don't want to take yourself apart any more than is absolutely necessary.

Develop some of the micro routines on the other side of the personality distribution.

So, if you're disagreeable as hell,

maybe you could start learning how to do nice things for people.

And that actually works, by the way.

So, if you take disagreeable people who are depressed

and you get them doing nice things for other people,

their depression tends to lift.

But then by the same token, if you're agreeable,

then you should practice >> >> doing some things for yourself

and being more tough-minded in your negotiation.

You know, you're extroverted.

It's like, "Okay, man, learn to spend some time with yourself, right?"

You're low in openness.

Well, try reading a book that's outside of your, you know,

your your sphere of interest now and then.

>> >> Um if you're conscientious, well,

you should probably learn how to relax occasionally and and so forth.

So, you can I think partly what you're doing

as you're developing your personality is not moving the mean much,

the average, where you know, where you're located,

but you're extending the standard deviation

so that you're a bigger bag of tricks than you were before.

Life is has got its rat's nest of miseries, and that's for sure.

And maybe you could even make a categorical statement

that life is mostly a rat's nest of misery.

You know, and you can make a pretty powerful argument for that.

But then there's a counter question, which is, "Well,

what if you tried not to make it any more miserable than it had

to be?"

Right?

Then what would it be like?

I would suspect that most

that misery would go away cuz it's the unnecessary misery

that really brings you down,

you know?

It's like, "Well, someone has cancer."

It's like that sucks, but it's not like you can say,

"If only we had done this differently, then that wouldn't have happened."

But when someone's out like torturing you in a malevolent way,

or maybe you're doing the same, you can always ask yourself, "Well,

is it really Is this really necessary?

Is this just like a useless add-on to the miseries of life?"

That's what disheartens people.

And so, even in your own life,

if you aren't suffering from self-imposed misery,

and you're only suffering from inescapable misery, maybe you could handle that.

And and and even maybe without becoming irredeemably corrupt.

So, the goal would be, well, yeah, life is a rat's nest of miseries,

and maybe it has no ultimate meaning.

We could say that if we're feeling particularly pessimistic,

but it still leaves one question open, which is,

if you didn't do everything you could to make it worse,

how good could you make it be?

And the least answer is, well, it it could be tragedy,

but maybe not hell.

What do you want in your life?

It's a very hard question to answer.

You're going to have to put some effort into your life.

Set up some aims for yourself, goals that you actually value.

You need to be motivated to do that.

If you're extroverted, you want friends.

If you're agreeable, you want an intimate relationship.

If you're disagreeable, you want to win competitions.

If you're open, you want to engage in creative activity.

If you're high in neuroticism, you want security.

So, now you've got your thing to aim at.

You think, "Well, I'm motivated cuz I got my thing thing to aim at."

It's like, "You're not

as motivated as you could be cuz you don't yet have your thing to

run away from."

Cuz if you really want to be motivated,

you want to be going somewhere

and you want to be not going somewhere else.

You got to aim at something, otherwise your life is meaningless.

Well, what should you aim at?

Well, pick something.

Aim at it.

As you move toward it, you'll get wiser.

Then maybe your aim will change.

That's okay, but at least it'll change in an informed way.

Discipline yourself in one dimension.

See what happens.

In some sense, life is a game.

The analogy is that in in life, like in sports,

you're setting forth an aim

and then arranging your perceptions

and your actions in pursuit of

that.

And that you also eat generally do it

while cooperating and competing with other people.

So, that's also the game-like element as well.

Okay, so once you get your goal structure set up, you think, "Okay,

if I can have this life, looks like that might be worth living."

Despite the fact that it's going to be anxiety-provoking

and threatening and there's going to be some suffering

and loss involved in all of

that.

The goal is to to have a vision for your life such

that all things considered,

that justifies your effort.

>> >> Put yourself in the right frame of mind.

Treat yourself like you're someone responsible for helping.

You're someone that you are responsible for helping.

So, what that means is you have to start from the presupposition

that despite all your flaws

and insufficiencies,

that it's worth having you around

and that it would be okay

if things were better for you.

It's like if you want to have everything you could possibly want and more,

then be a good person.

The better a person you are, the more likely that is to happen.

That doesn't mean you

that you're completely protected against getting cut off at the knees,

but there's no better strategy.

Then what do you do?

Well, then then you turn down to the micro routines.

It's like, okay, well, this is what I'm aiming for.

How does that instantiate itself day to day, week to week, month to month?

And that's where something like a schedule can be unbelievably useful.

Google Calendar.

It's like, make a damn schedule and stick to it.

Okay, so what's the rule with a schedule?

It's not a bloody prison.

That's the first thing that people do wrong.

They say, "Well, I don't like to have follow a schedule."

It's like, well, what kind of schedule are you setting up?

Well, I I have to do this, then I have to do this,

then I have to do this.

You know, and then I just go play video games,

because who wants to do all these things that I have to do?

It's like, wrong.

Set the damn schedule up so that you have the day you want.

That's the trick.

It's like, okay, I've got tomorrow.

If I was going to set it up

so it was the best possible day I could have practically speaking,

what would it look like?

Well, then you schedule that.

And obviously there's a bit of responsibility that's going to go along with that,

because if you have any sense,

one of the things

that you're going to insist upon is

that at the end of the day,

you're not in worse shape than you were

that than at the beginning of the day,

right?

Cuz that's a stupid day.

If you have a bunch of those in a row, you just dig,

you know, you dig yourself a hole and then you bury yourself in it.

It's like, sorry, that's just not a good strategy.

Now, it's okay.

Now you've got your vision.

You're trying to get through a territory you don't understand.

And here's your option.

No map, a map that's not so good, but has some things about it,

or a great map.

Well, obviously the great map is the thing you want,

but the the map that's something is way better than the map that's nothing.

Plus, as you explore because of your map,

you can start to fill in the details.

Let's say you you aim at something

and you and you develop some skills along the way,

>> >> and then you get like a third of the way there and you think,

"Oh, that's not for me."

It's like, well, yeah, fair enough,

but now you've still got the skills you developed.

You know exactly why it's not for you now.

And then you can bring that wisdom back, even though it's not perfect,

you can bring it back to your next plan.

And so, as you plan, you get better at planning,

which is the crucial thing.

So, then we say to people,

"Take your positive vision and make it into eight statable goals, right?

So, and then rank them in a hierarchy.

Break the goals into incremental goals

so that you have a reasonable probability of succeeding within some timeframe.

That's the other thing.

You have to parameterize it with regards to timeframe.

That's right.

And when you're in the zone,

you're expanding your skills >> >> at in a manner that's intrinsically rewarding because you're succeeding.

And so, you want to set if you're good to yourself, you think, "Okay,

I need to set a goal,

but I need to set a goal

that someone as stupid

and useless as me could probably attain

if they put some effort into it."

And then you've got And then you've got it perfectly,

because it's not so high

that it's grandiose or impossible

that you fail necessarily

and then justify your bitterness.

Well, I set a goal and I didn't attain it,

so I'm not going to set any more goals.

It's like, no, you set a goal that was inappropriate.

And you're playing a trick on yourself,

because you wanted to fail so that you could justify not having to try,

which isn't helpful.

You're still going to be a victim.

It's like, there's no way out of that, man.

So, you know, because life is this life is a challenge

that in some sense can't be surmounted.

So, there's no way out of your problem,

but there are certainly proper ways of dealing with it.

And then the next thing is, okay, you need a rationale for them,

because you're going to have doubts

and other going to people are going to put up obstacles.

Why would it be good for you?

Okay.

Why would it be good for your family if you attain that goal?

Why would it be good for the broader community?

Because if it's a good goal, it should be good for you.

That's fine, but if it's a really good goal,

it should be good for you in a way that's good for other people.

Yes, exactly.

And you And if you're going to decide what your goals are,

why not set up the ones that benefit the largest number of people simultaneously?

Yes, if you can do that.

You should start with your own concerns,

cuz you have to take care of yourself.

Yes.

Put your own oxygen mask on, then put your child's oxygen mask on.

Yeah, right.

And then you can

as you as you build up a the basis of competence locally,

you might develop enough skills so that you can expand that outward.

And it also gives your goal a certain amount of nobility.

And so, and if someone challenges you and says, "Well,

why are you doing that?

That seems stupid."

You can say, "I'm doing that because it helps me take care of myself,

but it benefits my family and here's the reasons why,

and this is the repercussions out into the broader community."

People who are putting up objections

and doubts aren't aren't armed to deal with

that kind of response.

And then when you have those doubts in your mind that plague you, say,

"Why why am I doing this?"

Oh, yeah, it's because well, I have to take care of myself,

because otherwise I'm pathetic

and useless and bitter

and cruel and then

and I'm going somewhere terrible,

so that's a bad idea.

And here's how it would help my family

and here's how it would help the community.

And that's good enough set of reasons for unless I can think of better

ones.

Right.

If without better ones, that's good enough.

When the unknown emerges, you tend to experience anxiety.

>> >> And then there's the the known,

and I define the known very specifically and and very carefully.

The known is the place you are

when what you're doing result produces the results you want.

And I say want, because that brings motivation and emotion into the game.

So, you're motivated to pursue something, you pursue it and what you want happens.

Not only do you get what you want,

but you get validation for the structure that governs your perceptions and your actions.

Well, if you took on all the responsibility you could take on,

and you faced everything that you needed to face, what would you be like?

Who would you be?

And how would the world transform around you?

And well, if if >> >> the partial answer is, "Well,

if I do that a little bit, things get a fair bit better."

Then the next question might be, "Well, what if you did that completely?"

And I don't think that's possible in some sense, right?

It's like, you know, perfection is a horizon that always recedes,

but it isn't obvious to me what the upper limit of that is.

And >> >> I mean, great literature tells you the great story of good and evil,

always.

It's good and evil against a background of chaos and order, always.

And the evil characters are there to to to be bad examples

and the good characters are there to be good examples,

or you see the interplay of those forces within a single person.

And and it's a reminder of of who you could be.

If you don't know who you could be,

your conscience will remind you when you deviate.

And then you can start to attend to that.

Like, "Well, look, I'm actually ashamed when I do this.

I should stop.

And unless I want to be ashamed all the time,

it looks like I should stop."

And then maybe you stop doing that.

And and then your conscience objects to something else.

And maybe you stop doing that.

And as that happens,

you start to develop a vision of who you could be.

You're someone in an out-of-the-way place at a particular time

and place.

And for you, what

that means is that make contact with the highest of values.

You have to bring

that down to your particulars

and figure out how you do

that.

It's going to be a way that no one else does it,

because you're the only one that's you.

And but you can you can aim at something.

Aim at something.

And the the point of the chapter is

that you aim at something

and that will shape you

as you move towards it.

And then your aim will change.

You'll move.

But that doesn't matter.

It gets you going.

Who are you?

Or at least, who could you be?

Answer.

Part of the eternal force that constantly confronts the terrible unknown, voluntarily.

Part of the eternal force

that transcends naivety and becomes dangerous enough in a controlled manner to understand evil

and beard it in its lair.

And part of the eternal force

that faces chaos and turns it into productive order.

Or that takes order that has become too restrictive, reduces it to chaos,

and renders it productive once again.

And all of this being very difficult to understand consciously,

but vital to our survival,

is transmitted in the form of the stories

that we cannot help

but attend to.

And it is in this manner

that we come to apprehend what is of value,

what we should aim at, and what we could be.

Well, to begin with, and this happened when I was in graduate school.

I had had a lot of bad habits.

I smoked like a pack of cigarettes a day and I drank a lot.

I I came from this little town in northern Alberta.

Like many little towns, especially in northern Canada, the alcohol overuse is de rigueur,

you know, it's it's And so,

I noticed when I was in my early 20s

that the only time I really regretted what I had done was

when I was drinking.

Now, it was also interfering with me writing,

because I couldn't concentrate well enough if I was hungover,

but I also couldn't tolerate the emotional strain of what I was writing about

when I was hungover.

It was too I couldn't handle being on the edge,

because I destabilized my nervous system.

In any case, I stopped drinking.

And the reason for that was, well,

I decided I didn't want to be ashamed of what I was doing anymore.

It seemed I thought, "Well, maybe I could not do things that were shameful."

And then see what my life was like.

>> >> So, that that was sort of on the negative end, the constraint end.

I think people get on the more positive end,

people get deeply involved in what they're doing

if they're in the right place in the right time.

So, that you I would say you can tell this is the idea of

heaven on earth to some degree.

When time stops, when you're not aware of the duration of time,

when you're so engaged with what you're doing,

then you've got the forces of chaos and order balanced properly.

It's you're not stultified and bored, that's an excess of order.

Everything's too predictable.

You're not overwhelmed.

You're you're dealing with It's like it's like it's you're playing tennis at the

peak of your game.

That's partly what people experience when they're great athletes when they play.

>> The zone, yeah.

You know, and they're always stretching themselves to their limit.

You can tell that if you watch a gymnast, for example,

who who has a brilliant performance.

They've stretched themselves beyond their domain of competence during the performance.

>> >> And that's what makes everybody leap to their feet.

That's that's the incarnation given embodiment right there in front of you for some

moments.

And everyone cheers that on.

You're adopting a time frame that makes what you're doing appear trivial,

the problem isn't necessarily what you're doing,

although it might be

and you have to ask yourself

that question because perhaps you were engaging in something that's more trivial than you

should be.

The problem is that you're mind, which is capable of leaping across evaluative frameworks,

has picked a time frame inappropriate for the task.

So, quit doing that.

>> >> Instead, you could say, "Well,

why don't you practice adopting the time frame

that imbues your >> >> properly oriented action with the deepest possible apprehended meaning?"

>> >> And why would you not think

that the fact that

that meaning manifests itself with the proper choice of time frame,

why wouldn't you accept the fact that's indication of a valid choice?

It It feels like it.

You know what it You know what it's like?

You get engaged in something, a a deep conversation, a piece of music,

a piece of art, something you love doing, someone you love being with.

You get engaged in that, you lose your sense of temporality.

And you don't pop out of it and think, "Oh my god,

I wish I would use the time frame

that made everything irrelevant

because of my,

you know, cognitive brilliance."

You think, "Hey, we could do that some more.

Like how about all the time?"

And that's that's a good goal.

It's like, "Yeah, how about that?

All the time."

And then you've got time right when you're engaged like that.

And I would say that's a profound neurophysiological signal

that you're in the right place at the right time.

Right?

Cuz it's accompanied by a sense of >> >> deep well-being.

And that's literally an antidote suffering.

The advantage to being deprived is that it's obvious what to do.

Like if you're starving, then you eat.

Yeah.

There's no question.

But if you have enough to eat

and you have enough shelter

and you have enough information,

maybe not as much as you could have, but enough.

It start starts to become difficult to decide what to do.

And then you have another problem,

which is that you can't decide what to do.

Yeah.

And and then you have to start to investigate value.

So, you should be responsible to yourself and your future self,

the community of selves that you are across time.

And then you should be responsible for

and productive for as many people

as you can manage.

And so, that might be first your intimate partner, your wife.

Second, your your parents, your siblings, your your children.

Maybe your children primarily, although, you know,

there's a trade-off there with your wife.

Then your your local community, then your broader community.

You want to take on all

that responsibility if you can in a sense that's both productive

and generous.

That gives you something to do,

justify your miserable life to yourself and everyone else.

And you need to do that.

Um it it orients you solidly in the world if you do that.

And it gives you a dragon to fight, a real one.

And that's where the gold is.

So, the ultimate ideal is also the ultimate judge

because the ultimate ideal is is something against

which you fall far short.

And that might be so painful that you can barely >> >> stand it.

But then what you do is you two things, I suppose,

is you lower the ideal

and you raise your estimation of your possi- of your potential.

And what do I mean by lower the ideal?

Well, if you're comparing yourself to someone

or even to a future self

and the gap is

so painful that it paralyzes you,

then you've created a dragon that you don't have the tools to master.

And so, what you have to do is you have to scale the dragon

down to size.

And you want to scale the dragon down to size until it's a size

that you are willing to move toward.

However small that is.

Now, you know, if you're here

and your ideal is here

and that gap is unbearable,

then you reduce the gap

because you're not going to move from where you are to perfect in one

fell swoop.

There's going to be incremental steps.

So, you have to fill in

that that hierarchy of progression with with a high enough resolution representation

so that you can start to move forward.

And and then you should be buttressed.

There's another gospel comment that's very interesting.

It has to do It's called the Matthew principle.

And the Matthew principle is to those who have everything more will be given

and from those who have nothing everything will be taken.

Now, it's brutal because it implies that reality works like this.

When you're moving up, you go like this.

Right?

And that's pretty nice.

That's a lot better than this.

But when you're going down, you go like that, right?

It's like downhill, downhill, cliff.

Okay.

So, you want to avoid the downhill path.

Well, if the uphill path is like this, which is like exponential, let's say,

or geometric, then what

that means is that it doesn't matter how big the first steps you take

uphill are.

Even if they're trivial,

even if they're shameful in their >> >> in their size because you're so useless,

that if you're if you're disciplined in that, you'll speed up extraordinarily rapidly.

And so, that's the good news, you might say,

is that >> >> you can take very small steps,

even ones that might be shameful in their size,

and you have to admit that to yourself,

but once you get the ball rolling, it doesn't roll in a linear fashion,

it rolls in a geometric fashion.

And this is a really good thing to know

because it can take the sting out of the realization of your own stupidity.

It's like, "Yeah, you know, everybody has their weak >> >> sides, let's say,

things they're embarrassed about.

When I first started going to the gym, I was like,

how old was I?

1985, 23.

And I think I weighed 135 lb and I was 5 6 ft 1,

very, very thin.

I smoked like mad and I drank too much.

Like I wasn't in good shape.

Huh.

The first the first attempts forward I took in the gym,

I went to this swim exercise class.

It was me and this like really fat guy, young guy,

probably not in any worse shape than me,

and like seven old women over 70.

And they could outswim me.

Like it was pretty damn humiliating.

And so, I did a semester of

that and got myself in somewhat better shape.

And then I started to go to the gym to work out,

to lift weights.

And that was also rough because, you know,

I'd be underneath the bloody bench press trying to lift 75 lb off the

off the rests.

And you know, some muscle-headed bastard would come over

and tell me how to do it.

And it's like, >> >> "Yeah, thank you."

But, you know, it's embarrassing

and lots of times people won't do things like go to the gym

because they're so embarrassed about how they look

or what sort of shape they're in.

And >> >> it's a pain to start at the bottom,

but you start at the bottom where you're weak.

And if you want to >> >> rectify what's weak,

you have to accept the fact

that you're at the bottom

and that the first steps are going to be painful.

You know, I it took me about 3 years, but I stopped smoking.

And then I stopped drinking

and I gained 40 lb of muscle in like 3

and 1/2 years,

something like that.

I got a lot more physically confident

and a lot more >> >> coordinated cuz working out with dumbbells makes you

coordinated,

right?

Cuz it it exercises all the small ligaments and the tendons.

And so, my lower body in particular got a lot more coordinated.

Then I could dance,

so that was better

when I was going out dancing cuz I did a lot of

that in graduate school.

And but the point of all this is >> >>

if you're going to rectify your weaknesses,

you have to admit your insufficiency to your own shame.

Now, if the gap between you

and your ideal is

so great that it paralyzes you,

you shrink that, right?

One of the things I've been talking about in the live shows is your

comparison group is incorrect.

The fact that, you know,

we have the opportunity to sit down and listen to anybody on the planet,

right?

The best minds, the best athletes, the best thinkers,

>> >> the most articulate

that are alive right now

or listen to the people

that have died that were around

when video cameras existed.

And you can compare yourself to that group.

>> Yeah.

But that's not your comparison group.

If you have the impetus to sit down

and listen to me

and you waffle on for 3 hours about these deep topics,

these interesting ideas, you are so already selected out of the normal group.

You're already asking yourself questions that almost nobody almost nobody else is, right?

But because your comparison group are >> >> people that are unbelievably high performing,

is that really who you're going to compare yourself to?

And it's unfair.

And the problem that I see is people who have big dreams for themselves

and want to do great things,

they like to set their sights high.

And yet, they feel despondent in the comparison.

So, I think that that >> a pride in that, too, eh?

And like I can be.

I want to be.

>> Well, or that's who I should be comparing myself to, right?

That's the pride, and the pride is something like, I should be that,

or even I could be that.

It's like, well, maybe you could, but you're certainly not going to do it,

as you already pointed out, without the apprenticeship.

Right?

So, you could say

that the despondency is actually >> >> is is in proportion to the to

the false pride.

Now, I wrote a chapter in I think my first book,

which was compare yourself to who you are today,

not to who someone else is.

It's Sorry, I I mangled that to some degree, but you get the point.

The proper comparison group for you is you yesterday.

>> >> Because you can make First of all,

you're the only control group that's appropriate to you.

Because you have a certain set of talents

and possibilities and limitations

and tragedies that are truly unique to you.

And so, you might be comparing yourself to someone else on some dimension,

but it's not a reasonable comparison

because you don't know what talents they were blessed with,

and >> >> you also don't know what opportunities they had that you didn't, etc.

It's just not a reasonable comparison.

It's a lot better to think about who you were, and then to think,

well, could you be somewhat better in some dimension?

And the the the positive thing about

that is the answer is almost always yes.

Now, you can orient that transformation towards some stellar target,

and that's a reasonable thing to do,

but >> >> that doesn't exactly mean that you should compare yourself to that target.

Aiming at something and comparing yourself to it are not exactly the same thing.

Plus, your bloody comparison is also a delusion.

You know, that's another thing

that you have to understand is

that you look at the person you're jealous of,

and really what you're doing is you're you're looking through a very narrow aperture

at a very thin slice of their life.

You're looking at the thin slice of their life that's turning out the best,

but you're also looking at a thin slice of their life that's marketed to

be the best.

Right?

And you have no idea what the horror of

that person's life might be in its totality,

and you have no idea

if like if the deal was say you wanted to be Russell Brand.

There's a good example.

You wanted to be Russell Brand.

You wanted to be as charismatic and as famous as he is.

Well, your real wish is that you get to have everything Russell Brand has,

but none of his problems.

>> >> Well, come I mean,

that's just it's just it's no wonder

that a vision like

that would make you despondent

because it's it's naive,

it's resentful, it's jealous, it's bitter, and it's unreasonable.

You have to take the good with the bad.

You have to take the bad with the good.

And people very rarely think about that when they're thinking about, you know,

the famous people they think they'd like to be.