The Most Valuable 80 Minutes You’ll Hear Today

You mentioned there about um some of the prices

that people need to pay in order to be who they are.

I'm fascinated by this question.

I'm fascinated by the cost of entry,

price of doing business to be a person that other people admire.

What do you wish more people knew about the price of success in life?

>> Right.

Because there's if you turn around

and look back with open eyes at your life,

you see all the scars, you know.

I mean, you you can't the only way you cannot be humble in old

age is when you refuse to look at the reality of your life up

to today.

I you know, that's the only way >> because nobody's skating through it perfectly.

>> But this is what drives this is what drives my business endeavors today.

This is the core of what drives me.

Okay.

There is no business out there that I can take on.

There is no monetary endeavor

that I can take on

that is worth the gamble of me losing me.

Because most people think I'm just some grand animal who runs

and yells and just says all the time.

And that's nowhere near the truth.

That's maybe what they see in a one minute video

and that's what we believe.

But there's a lot of thought behind a person being a born loser becoming

who I am today.

You don't just wake up and just Rocky.

You got to wake up and think about, you know,

there's a process to getting better.

And that process is never finished. understanding

that there isn't anything better

that can happen to you than what happens

if you tell the truth,

right?

No matter what it looks like to you in the moment.

It's a strange thing,

but I can't see how it could be otherwise

because you'd have to hypothesize

that you're going to align yourself with life,

with nature, with society, with God, with yourself by lying.

No one believes that.

You might think you can get away with it.

That's way different, right?

But no one believes that.

But the it's so much easier to figure out who you're not.

Then if you start eliminating the who I'm not by sheer mathematics,

you end up moving towards who more of what feeds you

and who you are.

And it's a hell of a lot easier thing to go,

how can I get rid of some in my life than it is to

go,

well, how do I go to my true self?

I was not always this strong guy.

You see, I went through a lot of hard times in my life to

get here today.

All I wanted to be was an uncommon man.

And my whole life, I was not that.

I was 6'1 and 300 lb.

I walked in the recruiter's office and he looked at me and he said,

"You're fat and you're black."

He said, "I basically had to lose 106 lbs in less than 3 months."

I came back 3 months later, 106 lbs lighter.

Thank you.

You have to wake up and you have to give yourself belief.

It's about gaining control of your mind, putting things back in the proper perspective,

and then saying, "I really do want to be here." with every obstacle I

look at as friction.

Now, without friction, there is no growth.

You have to have friction in your life to grow.

So, I start looking at all these different things versus the wo is mentality

like,

"Oh my god, look at my life.

My life's soed up.

I come from this up family.

I'm being beaten.

I'm I'm being abused mentally, physically."

I started looking at it as a as a perfect trial ground.

So, I had to flip it upside down.

I said, "Okay, I'm suffering tremendously mentally. use this to your advantage versus your

disadvantage.

So that's what I did versus looking at it as like, oh my god,

wo is me.

I'm never going to get out of here.

I looked at, okay, hang on a second.

If I can overcome this, if I can find some power in this,

some way to get through this,

that right there will be the fuel for the rest of my life.

And so I found great strength in suffering.

It showed me even more of what we have

as as as humans

if we're willing to go there

and we're willing to push

that extra step.

A lot of people, man, how do you do what you do?

At the end of the day, I ask myself one question,

can I take one more step?

And usually the answer is yes.

So if you can answer that question and not take another step,

that is real failure.

That is real quitting.

A lot of people can take one more step, but they choose not to.

I don't know if you can take two steps.

You got to answer that question after you take the first step.

But I can always take one more step.

So if I choose not to, that's on me.

And I got to live with that.

There's a lot of people in graves who have lived 100 years

and have never started their real journey.

Your real journey starts

when you go outside

that box and you start climbing mountains.

You start climbing mountains.

And it goes on and it goes on.

And just when you're getting ready to quit, you crest that final mountain.

You get down and you look and there you are.

But you cannot find your peace you're looking for in yourself until you've overcome

yourself.

Sometimes progress is the W.

Like maintaining in some seasons is winning.

This has been my my big focus right now.

Um, and I'm not the first person to say this,

but just winning the day.

And Bill Aman had this hard season where he was getting divorced.

He just lost $4 billion.

And he was not him today.

He was earlier on his career.

So, I mean, it was just the worst.

And it was just a terrible slog.

And he said, one of the difficult parts about

that period is that there was no one thing

that was like,

oh, I can tackle this today.

Like, you're not going to finish the divorce today.

You're not going to undo the $4 billion loss today.

And so it's like when you have these larger,

more complex negative things that do scale,

it's like how do you how do you how do you navigate through that?

And for anyone who's listening right now, it's like maybe it's the bad breakup,

maybe it's the or maybe you're getting divorced, right?

Or maybe it's like the business isn't working the way you want.

It's like and there's like 10 things that you have to fix.

And so he had this very tactical advice

which I liked a lot

which is he just tried to make progress

and that was it.

And he said, you know, in a day it's almost it's almost negligible, right?

But at 30 days, you're like, "Okay, I moved this."

And at 90, you're like, "Wow."

Does this mean that our mood is still being dictated by circumstance?

Yes, I'll be honest.

Yes, it does.

But I think many of us have this ideal.

We'd love to be in a great mood in the absence of things to

be in a great mood about.

But I had this one great podcast today.

I'm going to make that thing the thing that's making this a great day.

And then if I can make that great day,

then maybe it could be a great week.

and then trying to expand those basically like let those good moments eat up

the season in actively trying to minimize all the down things

and super super focus on those moments

and be like cool I had

that good moment that's my day days made

and I'm trying to even say

that more basically I've had to recalibrate my entire scale to how little of

a thing can happen

that makes my day how little of a thing can happen

that makes my week how little of a thing can make my How crazy

would it be if a year from now I say

that was a great year?

I'm putting a huge amount of my discretionary effort into this

because it's my belief

that right now what will what will prevent me from achieving my ultimate goals

cuz that that motherucker is not gone is running out of steam

because I don't need to do this like I don't need to work this

hard.

I have to I'd prefer to make the ride more enjoyable.

>> Realize it never mattered to begin with.

What's that?

>> If you want it all, life will give you nothing.

We're willing to sacrifice everything that we have for the thing that we want.

And then once we get the thing that we want,

we want back the things that we sacrificed,

which really just goes to the heart of the human condition,

which is we want it all.

And we're not willing to make trades.

And so one of the reasons

that I've actually I would say largely tossed out the deathbed regrets of most

people is that what they do typically is they will have the bias of

wanting the other path they could have taken without considering the cost of

that path.

So they say, "Hey, I was really successful and I did all these things,

but you know, I I would give it all up today to have my

family."

It's like, well, yeah,

but you didn't because you actually chose the path

that you were on

and you weren't willing to do

that.

But what you are saying right now is that you want it all.

Sure.

So does everyone.

And so I've had, you know, a few moments of clarity over the last,

you know, year or so, but we want everything without the cost.

And everything has a price.

And you will never be able to get the sufficient price tag paid on

everything to achieve a mod of success in any domain unless you are willing

to trade from another.

And I think that that has significantly minimized my regret.

We give up our 20s for our 30s.

We give up our 30s for our 40s, our 40s for our 50s.

And we trade everything we achieved in our 30s, 40s,

and 50s to get back to our 20s.

We give up the thing we have most of for the thing

that we have least of >>

and we give up the thing

that we want for the thing that's supposed to get it.

I I I will become happy

when I'm sufficiently successful

and I will sacrifice my happiness in pursuit of success

so that I can become sufficiently successful

so I can finally be happy.

We spend our 20s wanting to be richer and older and have a family.

Then we start that in our 30s

and we gain more wealth

and do the family thing.

And then we get back to get to our 40s

and we've got more responsibilities.

We've accumulated all of this stuff and then we think, "God,

if only I could go back to my 20s."

But you wereing miserable in your 20s.

You hated it.

You had no idea whether you were going to be successful.

You were constantly concerned about money.

You were desperately needing validation from all of these people around you.

You were permanently in dissatisfaction about this stuff.

We already know how the movie ends

when we go back

and say we want to relive it.

And you can't relive it into the same context

because uncertainty is the largest part of the story.

Perhaps golden years can only happen in our memory.

Nobody believes that we're living through a golden era right now.

>> We never think we're in the good old days,

but the good old days are always now.

I have spent a huge amount of mental resources accepting suffering

and not saying that there's something wrong with something bad. like a huge amount

of mental resources has gone to this

because I've been better

and faster at correcting the loop of like oh I am not happy with

this particular thing and therefore there is something wrong.

>> Yeah.

So fix the story that I tell myself as opposed to fix the thing.

>> And that's been um super helpful with the addition of everything

that I remember will always be better than it was.

And the nice thing is that there's tons of science that backs this up,

which is that we learn uh through reward and punishment.

Punishment fades with time, no matter how bad it was.

Like you get drunk, you get hung over, you say,

"I'll never drink again." 7 days later, you're out drinking again.

Why?

The punishment of the hangover fades quickly.

You are with somebody for a while, you're like,

"This just crazy or this guy is crazy."

And then you break up and then all of a sudden,

what do you remember?

The good times.

Because reward sticks and in some ways there's a little bit of a hopeful

message there which is

that when you look back on your life you will disproportionately remember the good

times but it only becomes a problem

if you limit the present

which is the only thing you've ever actually lived in.

when I think about a business

and I want to grow it for example I would think okay what are

all the things that can destroy this business

and this is Charlie Mer this isn't me um

but basically he says invert always invert

and Einstein said that too

and it's because like you get to use this this way stronger horsepower engine

of like how do I grow my business that's you could obviously think

that way but the alternative would be like how would I absolutely destroy this

business in the fewest possible moves

and then when you list out those moves you're like cool now let's do

the opposite of that

And that has been um honestly a lot of the some of the sources

of my greatest kind of creative moments have come from these apparently obvious things

that would kill us.

Well, what if we did the even more obvious thing

and did the opposite of what would destroy us.

Um and it's worked better than I deserve.

Figure out what you want.

Ignore the opinions of others.

Do so much work it would be unreasonable that you fail.

Realize it never mattered to begin with.

Help others once you get there. you've already achieved the things you said would

make you successful.

>> Yeah, the first five steps there is my um is basically my my

master life plan.

I had a pretty terrible first out of college experience of work.

But from that I learned some of the most important life lessons

that I still take to this day.

And uh that boss particularly said one thing to me one day.

She said figuring out what you want is 99% of it.

She said, "Once you know what you want, getting it is the easy part."

And I I kind of adopted

that as a worldview

because it's like once you're really clear like this is what I want,

then everything that's not

that is what I'm willing to give up to get it.

Now, that thing can change.

And I think that's the part that people miss.

And I think we should all have permission to change what we want in

any given moment. and not having basically sunk life bias of like I put

10 years into this thing

and that's okay and that's what I needed to do at

that time and today I'm willing to I'm going to change everything.

It's been super helpful for me to not think of my changes

as permanent because it's been it's allowed me to make such dramatic changes in

my in my life

or my business much faster than I think most people have been willing to

because there's this this weight of forever on top of everything.

Like I can do this for today

and tomorrow if it still works I will do it for tomorrow.

And if 5 days from now

or 25 days from now

if I work this way I

then say you know what I need today.

People like oh he's burned out.

It's like I took a day cuz that's what I needed that day.

And I think giving myself permission to have

that freedom has allowed me to take significantly faster action

because who am I apologizing to?

Did you ever secretly want to quit before,

but you stuck around due to expectation?

>> I did announce privately that I was retiring after my fifth win.

I had a video on my phone I recorded of me like crying in

my gym after a workout being like,

this is my last Olympia.

That was really the only moment where I was like, I'm done stepping away.

And then I had to come back and be like, I'm not done.

I'm doing this again. your reigning sixtime Olympia champion Chris Bunstead.

When I started about it,

it was kind of just like the gym was a beautiful place for me

to go and escape

and enjoy it.

And I loved it.

Started to see progress and it changed over time.

It just kind of like shifted into a bit of a pressure

and I started to tie my identity to it

and like kind of like I needed a lot of aspects of it

and I never wanted to.

But like I made the decision to compete in bodybuilding.

I'm making the decision to stay technically.

But is it a free choice

if I feel like I have to do it to be good enough?

If I feel like my self worth

and my identity is attached to competing now.

But this goal I have,

this journey I have now has this intense tension

because it's not a positive choice.

It's not a free choice of like this is wanting to do this.

It's like I have to do this to be good enough.

I wasn't getting anything from it anymore that was serving me.

And then I had to like really be honest with myself.

Clearly you were attached to that and now you may lose it all.

Would you be okay with that?

Would you be okay with it all gone before it was like the love

of the sport.

It was love of bodybuilding

and then it became this attachment to this like need of like what came

with it.

>> And going into the last year I didn't even I wasn't enjoying it.

It was more of an attitude of like I have to go work out

so I can win the Olympia.

>> Mhm. rather than like I get toing train today

and they have the opportunity to be the best in the world

if I do it right.

It was just this different mindset shift

that I realized in myself of why I was like this isn't for me

anymore.

It's time for me to get off the stage

because this isn't serving me

and this isn't the proper reason.

You know why you start something typically changes over time.

Why you start something might have driven you, but now if it drains you,

it's time to reevaluate what you're doing.

All the stuff are incredible.

Don't get me wrong.

It's not like I don't value having money and attention.

Like I'm human.

I enjoy it.

But it's not what was making me feel good dayto-day.

It was taking away from my ability to be at home.

And I would be like, I have to eat again.

I missed a meal.

I came to an event and I lost a pound.

Am I going to be are my legs big enough this year?

I feel like my waist got bigger.

Like on that day, 10 minutes on stage,

am I going to be good enough to be the best in the world?

That pulls you away from being present in your day-to-day life cuz you're constantly

worrying about that.

And that's because I became more attached to the outcome than just the love

of the game.

>> You said, "I found greater fulfillment in the journey of pursuing my goals

than in the moment of achieving them.

Why?"

I'd say that comes to like the question I asked you of discovering what

I was capable of.

You know, there's been

so many times where I've been in a prep

and I felt way too far behind to win

and I'm had an injury last year

when I tore my lat,

tore my bicep, I was in the hospital,

like all these different things going on and I'm like,

there's no way that I can do this.

Like, it's impossible.

And if I were to ever ask myself in the past, like,

do you think you could win or get through this and do this?

And I'd be like, no way.

It's impossible.

But I was in it

and I did it

and I accomplished it

and I was like,

I'm capable of so much more than my mind understands.

And I think that's just the greatest part of the journey

that I've achieved is like

that understanding of what I'm capable of

and that belief in myself to what I can accomplish.

And it only came through the journey.

It didn't come through the winning.

It come through the challenges

that came along the journey

and fighting through it

and the beauty of all

that.

And on top of that,

there's just been so many moments in the midst of things where like it's

a workout or it's a diet

or I'm starving or I'm doing check-ins

or something and I'm just like this is incredible.

Like I'm peak conditioned in the world right now fighting to be the best

in the world and I'm living in

that moment right now.

I'm doing the this is what it takes when people see something on stage.

This is what they don't see

or that what I'm feeling in my mind what no one will understand what

it takes to get there.

I get to experience this every day

and I think it's just part of the human experience of feeling in life

that's just so beautiful.

>> What does pressure is a privilege mean?

>> I think I first heard it from Tim Grover.

His book, Relentless, put my mindset into like the focus on my mindset in

competing rather than just my physical body

because I knew that's what it would take to like get to the next

level.

And I think after winning an Olympia, I was like, "Oh,

like I just showed my cards.

I had people know what I'm capable of now.

There's no one I got to beat.

There's no like second place, third place."

Like flow.

It's like, "No, you're the best.

And unless you're the best, we just forget about you."

So, it was like this pressure I felt on myself.

And it was coming externally for a

while and I was trying to like understand how I could gravitate

that a little bit better without it kind of bringing me down

and slowing down my progress.

And I had to kind of function into the reality

that the pressure was really coming from myself rather than externally.

And that it's a good pressure.

It's a pressure to be better and to become the best version of myself.

And it's something that if I choose to use it properly,

it's going to push me to be a better version of myself,

to grow mentally, physically, my relationships, however I want it to grow.

If I choose to take control of the aspects I have control over,

it's a choice to put your perception of the privilege rather than a burden.

And it by taking the power back in

that choice pushes you in a direction of being better rather than holding you

back.

>> What else does it mean to have a champion mentality?

>> Again, something that definitely elevated over time.

Originally, it was like just winning

and it evolved into just like a no quit mentality.

It's accepting these fears I have, this doubt I have,

this everything that goes through my mind.

But regardless of that, not quitting and not giving up on myself.

No matter how hard is the time of what I'm going through

and whatever I feel,

it's I'm going to still put in the same work

because champions are not controlled by their outside circumstances.

They're they control their own mind

and side and how they act

and then the world goes on around them.

I the whole time thought it was bad to be driven by like, oh,

I'm not good enough, so I need to accomplish X to be good enough.

And it's I don't think that's the way to live.

But maybe that's a good way to start.

A lot of people are driven to high levels of success by doing that.

And maybe that puts you in a position of abundance, of success,

to show you the things that are important to you,

to give you enough confidence,

to give you enough life experience to go inside

and reflect on ways

that you can find lasting genuine selfworth.

You know, maybe if you're like, "Well, no,

you shouldn't do something because you're not good enough."

Well, then maybe you never start, you know,

or maybe it makes you an incredible bodybuilder.

You go on this huge run

and you're able to go on this journey of self-discovery

and then figure it out in the end.

But I wouldn't have changed

that going back of whyever I started even

if it was coming from a insecure

or bad place because it got me to the place I am now.

It's easier to do the things

that you want to do

so that you no longer need to do them than it is to try

and release yourself of the desire overall.

I've always connected with the Jim Carrey versions of that.

He has like a couple quotes of it where one of them is specifically

I wish for everyone to achieve their hopes

and dreams so they can realize

that it doesn't make them complete.

It's like damn.

And in the other one was his like ironic I think it was Golden

Globe.

He goes up there and I don't remember it word for word,

but he's like, >> I'm twotime Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey going to get

some well-needed shutye.

And when I dream, I don't just dream any old dream.

I dream about being threetime Golden Globe winning actor Jim Carrey

because then I would be enough

and I could stop this this terrible search for what I know ultimately won't

fulfill me.

And then the whole crowd just starts laughing

and they're all just ah he's funny

and like a few people you can see like whoa he's beyond it now

and he's just like when's enough enough you know >>

if you hadn't won would you have still retired >> this year?

That's an incredible question.

I actually haven't even thought about

that every year and my sister one year looked at me in the Olympia.

She's like are you ever going to believe you're going to win?

It was like in between prejudging

and night show when I just dominated the show.

She's like so you feel good about I was like, "I don't know.

Like, maybe I'll win."

She's like, "Are you ever going to believe that you're going to win?"

Like, and I was and I didn't.

And then the last year I went into

that prep and I like I had those moments of,

"Do I love this?

Do I not?"

And I worked my way back to a point of like,

"This is the last time."

And I enjoyed it and I like loved the experience.

But the whole time it was just like,

am I going to win or am I going to not compete?

>> That was what was in my brain.

I didn't even think.

And it was finally that point where I just believed in myself,

where I knew like I know what to do.

I know my what I'm capable of.

And like I'm going to come in and win if I do it.

So I never even thought about it.

But >> that is a champion mentality, right?

>> But no, yeah, I like to believe that I would have retired, you know,

and it, like I said,

it's very different because my mind did just like release all these focuses where

it opened up the ability to realize all these things

that I had been holding

that might have been creating tension in my life.

So, I'm in a state right now where I can't imagine trying to lock

in and focus on being

so selfish at something with life changing like it is.

Modeling somebody's rise, not their result, I think,

is a really important insight that hasn't fully caught everyone's attention yet.

Most people that have the platform to be able to give advice have got

the platform because they're successful.

And if they're successful,

that means that they have done something for a sufficiently long time at a

grand enough scale for people to consider them an authority in one form

or another.

>> But the problem is you are at the beginning of your career

and they are the person at the top of the mountain.

They can't remember what it was like to be a beginner.

>> So when you ask somebody what is the key to success in business

and they say well you know it's all about work life balance.

I think it's very important.

You know, you you need to be using your intuition

and your gut and you go,

"Huh, what did you do when you were at my stage?"

It's like, "Oh, everything was completely planned out

and I didn't have any time for my friends

or family.

I should probably do what you did when you were my stage,

not what you do now

that you have the luxury to do whatever you want."

What happens when it feels like that's being taken away from you?

You >> kind of

that old adage of you don't know what you got until it's gone.

You don't know what you valued until it starts to decrease a little bit.

>> Yeah.

So, >> I'm still unraveling why I wanted to quit before one year prior

to when you actually did it >> in

that and that was the year I had a really bad injury.

We had discovered Courtney was pregnant.

There was all this stuff going on.

There was some personal all this like chaos in my life

that was pulling me away from focusing on competing.

And I was like, I couldn't handle all of it in the moment.

And I was like, I can't do this anymore.

And I was stepping away from it.

And I realized I was stepping away from it in fear.

And because I had

so much external things muddying my decision of is it

because I don't love competing

or is it because of all these other things going on right now?

The injury that almost made me lose.

I should have dropped out.

I kept pushing through all these things

that I wanted to give myself an opportunity to try again

and be in it

and be like is this still for me?

And I feel like one of the most important things I've done the last

few years is like consistently ree re-evaluate my values

and try and make decisions based off the highest ones even

if in the moment I really feel like it's what I want.

And the funniest little thing of what has made me feel better recently was

working out again on a schedule

and eating five meals a day

and weighing out my food

and having that little bit of structure of like

and not having to

as well.

It's like all this stuff's going on my life.

I don't know.

I'm kind of lost.

What can I do?

Well, I can go work out again and I don't have to.

So now I'm choosing to.

Well, why you still work out so hard?

Why are you training so hard?

It's like well just cuz I love it.

And then all of a sudden I start to feel better dayto-day.

And it's these little changes

and I realize this is truly how I fell in love with the gym

and why I'm such a big advocate of weightlifting.

Like I honestly kind of hope I don't inspire people to get into bodybuilding

cuz it's tough.

It's up.

It's not good for your health.

But I do want to inspire people to go lift weights,

get in the gym and want to get jacked because it's such like, oh,

I'm lost.

I don't know what to do.

Just go work out.

Apply some discipline.

Work hard.

Find something you love that's difficult that shows you progress, builds confidence,

and just go do it. and finding that next goal and working towards it.

And I'm so grateful

that I'm back to a point of like loving the gym.

>> Because what you're talking about,

it's going to be difficult

and things will be hard

and you won't have the um the drive

or the goal that you used to in the past.

All of those things that kind of fluffy concepts, but they come into land.

They actually sort of meet reality with I woke up on the morning

and didn't know what to do.

I felt tired a lot.

I didn't want to train.

I was short and snappy with my business partners.

I I found myself getting distracted with lots of little tasks

because it made me feel important

and like people needed me.

I packed my calendar out

and did cuz a lot of the time in advance of something happening,

we probably have a good idea about what it's going to be like in

the macro,

but what we don't know is how it's actually going to appear,

manifest in life.

And it's navigating those things.

>> I needed to treat myself like a science experiment of like taking

and removing pieces and see what's important.

It's like, okay, bodybuilding was creating a bit of pressure

and stress in my life.

Is it everything related to that?

I'm not competing anymore.

I don't need to eat on a schedule.

I don't need to train at the same time.

I don't need to leave my phone outside the gym

and be locked in

and focus as much.

I don't need to wake up with my alarm.

I can kind of sleep.

I can do all these little things

that I can let go of

because now I don't have to

because the goal is different.

But then I start to not feel good.

And it was like, okay,

it wasn't those things that weren't making me feel bad.

Those were actually making me feel good.

It was the outcome.

Like I said before, oh wait,

the structure and the discipline makes me feel better.

It filled me with more confidence

and ability to go do other things rather than taking >> regardless of whether

it's in service of becoming Mr.

Olympia.

>> Yeah.

And I mean, I know those things, but like you said,

it was I feel like I don't want to do anything.

and you're way harder to pull yourself out of

that than if you caught it earlier.

>> That's life though, you know?

There's no direct descent to the top.

It's ups and downs and >> building a new self as you go.

>> What would you say to anybody that's lost direction in life in the

way that you have?

I would say I'm still in the midst of it,

but I do believe it will be for the better.

I feel like the path I was on wasn't I knew

when I was on it wasn't the best for me.

So, if I stayed on that path, might not be lost,

but I'm not discovering anything else.

And at least in being lost, you might discover something new that's better.

Nothing will be like the Olympia, but things will be incredible in my life.

The gym has been like the thing for me of when I'm lost,

it's always there.

So having a constant in your life,

having something within your control

when things feel out of control to just go do,

I think is so crucial.

Just go work out, go lift weights, just get jacked and figure it out.

If you turn around and look back with open eyes at your life,

you see all the scars.

The only way you cannot be humble in old age is

when you refuse to look at the reality of your life up to today.

I you know that's the only way because nobody's skating through it perfectly.

>> But this is what drives this is what drives my to it sounds

ludicrous in my ears

but my business endeavors today this is the core of what drives me.

Okay.

There is no business out there that I can take on.

There is no monetary endeavor

that I can take on

that is worth the gamble of me losing me.

It took me years of of a lot of grief

and pain and work to get to be who I am today in spite

of who I was.

And I don't want to lose that.

I don't want to lose myself in business.

I don't want to lose myself in trying to earn a better living,

in trying to get a name, and trying to do this.

It's like I have turned down I have turned down

so much because I've looked at it

and I've asked myself,

who's this going to make me be?

Who's this going to turn me into even a little bit?

And it's like, it's just not worth it.

It's just not it's not worth it.

And so I'm right now trying to find the balance in undertaking something that's

not going to alter me,

that I'm not going to lose myself,

and then not succeeding at something because I was too afraid to try it.

Never been afraid of failure before.

But now I've got something I don't want to lose.

And that's myself that I actually like. a me that I actually like.

The person that you have to spend the most time talking to in your

life is yourself.

Try not to lose that respect.

How have you learned to have a better relationship with yourself,

the voice inside of your head to be to be kinder

if things go badly?

I like me.

I like me.

I would buy me a dream.

I look at me now and I and I see all the warts, okay?

I see all the negatives more than anybody else does.

I see the positives.

And over the whole balance of stuff,

I like me and I can give myself the same grace

if you and I were friends.

I can give myself the same grace I can give you

because I like me.

I like me in spite of my understanding

and the reality of my weaknesses

and my warts and my scars

and everything.

But, you know, all in all, I'm a pretty good dude.

And uh, man, you you got to get to that point.

Arrogance is pride mixed with ignorance.

All right, that that's the definition of arrogance.

I'm not talking arrogance.

I'm talking about, look, as a human being, I've failed at this.

I've succeeded at that.

I've wrecked this, but I've built that.

And all in all, you know, I've tried, but I like me,

so I'm going to give me some grace.

And how many people can say that?

How many people say I like me?

they would give more grace, more care, more attention,

more love to somebody else >> than themselves.

There's a a statistic around >> I think on average the likelihood

that you are going to complete a course of antibiotics yourself >> is about

50%.

>> Right?

>> The likelihood of your dog completing it is 95%.

Yes.

>> So, we're literally capable of caring for a pet >> nearly double

as well as we can for ourselves.

Remembering that if you die, no one can look after the pet.

Serving others from a cup which overflows around your own is is important.

Tell me, how would you like yourself?

Find somebody that you like, that you genuinely like,

and figure out what it is about them you like.

I like that.

That's something I like.

That person is uh they're understanding.

They're gentle.

They're hardworking.

They're honest.

This is what I like about that.

And incorporate that stuff into your own life.

If that's the stuff you like, then incorporate that stuff into who you are.

And then you like yourself.

It's not rocket science.

But if we become the person that we like,

I have come to the place in my life where

when I meet somebody

and and they don't like me

and you can tell I don't care.

I like me and it's enough.

You know, this was a lesson

that I realized toward the end of my 20ies,

where I'd accumulated a lot of success

and status in maybe the way

that modern society tells a young man

that he should with freedom

and and notoriety and

and and women and

and stuff like that.

And that was cool and and to look back on fun.

Uh but it was beginning to get to the stage where I didn't like

me all that much.

I hadn't done anything bad,

but I just felt like there was I was built for more.

I was built for different, built for something else, >> right?

>> And I realized that I wasn't keeping promises to myself, >> right?

>> That if I said I was going to wake up at a certain time,

the snooze button would be hit three times, >> right?

If I said that I was going to stick to my diet

or go to the gym

or do this thing,

maybe it would happen,

but it wouldn't happen quite the way

that I'd meant it to

and there would be some negotiating

and some cajoling and some falling short.

You know, how can you have faith

that you're going to go

and do all of the things

that you want in life

when you can't not hit the snooze button,

>> right?

>> Or you can't not cheat on your diet.

You can't not do you are constructed by the tiny decisions

that you make every single day.

>> Well, I'll just say I came I came to a place in life

where I just didn't like me anymore.

I wasn't a very nice person and I was just very on edge,

very angry.

So, I had to make some decisions.

I can't continue to live like this.

Angry, there's no there's no benefit to it. you know, it doesn't fix anything.

You know, anger, it just it just turned out I'm like,

this is not profitable

and this is eating me up inside

and I'm making stupid decisions

and this this has just got to end.

So, I had to make some decisions.

What what's making me like this?

I need to get it out of my life.

And slowly over time got a handle on stuff

and uh kind of got some of my perspective back.

So, imagine that you had a friend

and every time that you invited this friend out for lunch,

they showed up an hour late or they didn't show up at all.

After a while, you stop trusting them and stop inviting them out at all.

You are that friend to yourself.

>> Yeah.

>> And I think this is such an important lesson for people who want

to be liked,

who want struggle socially uh and want to become better.

People like people that make them feel good, >> right?

>> They don't care that much about how impressive the person is.

>> So, I was riding for an outfit in Alaska Giden

and they brought in a a mayor

and uh the best I could understand,

she was a retired barrel racing horse from here in Texas.

And so when I signed on, they assigned her to me because nobody else,

we couldn't put guest on her.

None of the other wranglers wanted to ride her

because her her go-to was run.

If something disturbed her, her head came up and it's run.

Just run.

That that's my answer to escape to just run.

And it wasn't something that I could physically fight and stop.

Um, and so that horse really made me step outside of the thought process

of physically controlling something

that has a mental emotional issue

and getting in her head

and figuring out what can I do

if the problem is mentally

or emotionally,

what can I do to get in to her head

and get into her emotions

and fix that for her.

And so what I did, and it's so simple it, you know,

it probably wouldn't even make sense to a lot of folks,

but while we were sitting there

and while she was calm sitting there at the ranch waiting for others to

get on their horses,

I would just come in with the lightest little pressure

and get her to tip her nose,

not pull her nose in, just give a signal, hey, tip your nose.

So she'd tip her nose.

And we just do that and just do that.

And then when we get out on the trail

and she started getting anxious about something

and her head would come up,

I would just default to that.

And so she would find something that she was secure, the signal,

and it would she would calm down

and she would calm down.

and working with that mayor for the summer.

Um, I'm I made huge strides with myself in stepping outside of the norm

of trying to physically control something

that isn't ideal.

>> Yeah.

I mentioned that I had uh uh ridden a horse for the first time

in Texas and they gave me whatever the leader of the group is for

the horse,

whatever that's called.

Um, and I was right far at the back.

>> Yeah.

And this horse was eating.

And the lady that was guiding the group said,

"Just give him a little pull.

He'll come along."

I gave him a little pull.

He didn't move.

I mean, it is absurd to explain how strong these things necks are.

>> Yeah.

>> And I'm like, "I don't think he doesn't want doesn't want to come."

She's like, "No, no, just take a little bit more.

A little bit more."

I'm like, I'm a pretty strong guy.

So, I was like, "Right, okay.

I'll give it a big pull."

Didn't move.

I'm like And by this time, they're 100 yards away.

>> Yeah.

I'm like still he doesn't want to doesn't seem like he want said no

like a really big pull.

So I went mixed grip like you do on a deadlift.

>> Yeah.

>> Set my feet into the stirrups

and like like one rep maxed this horse's head up

and finally he got up

and uh that was absolutely not the most efficient way to get him to

do that thing.

There would have been a much better way than me.

>> Right now what I teach folks is I don't want his body.

Okay?

I want his mind.

Now, if I physically, like you just went through,

if I physically get his body to do what I want,

but I don't have his mind, soon as he gets a chance,

he's going to go back again.

But if I ignore the body and I get the mind,

if I have the mind, I have the body.

So, in a situation like that,

what I do is I I don't pull his head up, okay?

I take the reins and I bounce that bit that's in its mouth.

I I bounce it pretty sharp. and he decides in his mind,

I don't like that.

I think I will I think I will pick my head up.

I'm going to suggest to you

that you decide it's in your best interest for you to pick your head

up and we go for the mind.

And h how much in life, you know,

you you've got all these folks working for you here

and you have to you can't physically browbeat

and nag and threaten.

You've tried.

Does it work?

>> No.

No.

They're belligerent.

>> Yeah.

I' I've already heard stories.

It's just Yeah.

>> But you want to make things

so that they decide

that if this is this is what Chris wants done,

it's in it's in my best interest.

I want to go do that.

And again, it's communication, you know, and again,

it's getting in the horse's mind and working with a horse in that manner.

Um, I I'll give you an illustration if I can.

All right.

One of the cardinal sins in my book is

when I go to get on a horse

and the horse walks off

when I'm partway up.

You know, I'm stepping up, I'm swinging my leg over, and he's he's walking,

he's leaving.

Okay, that's a cardinal sin.

So, we have a difference of opinion here, me and the horse.

It's like, I want you to plant your feet

and I want you to be still

while I get on

and then I'll tell you

when I want you to go.

He says, well, I want to go.

So, I'm not going to sit there

and take pull back

and say whoo and do

that onelegged hop along Cassidy down

while I'm trying to get inside.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to physically hold him back.

I'm going to put my toe in the stirr

and I'm going to go to step up

and when he walks off,

I'm going to step back out

and I'm going to make him keep walking in a circle around me eight

or 10 times.

I'm like, I wanted you to stand still, but you want to walk.

I tell you what, I'm a nice guy.

I'm going to let you walk.

I'm going to let you do what you want in a controlled manner.

You pick the tune

and I'll pick the dance

and I'll make him walk around.

He's like, I don't I don't want to walk anymore.

Well, you said that's what you wanted,

so I'm letting you do what you want.

He's like, I don't want to walk anymore.

Okay, stop.

Whoa.

Now, won't you stand here while I get in the saddle?

And he says, and it may take a couple times, better.

He says, you know what?

I think what I want to do is I want to stand here

while he gets in the saddle,

you know?

So, we communicate.

And when I got his mind, when I changed his want to,

I didn't have to fight with his body.

And so that that's just that's how that's how you approach it.

You you understand and you communicate.

>> What have you learned about humans from working with horses?

>> Humans don't know how to communicate.

Communication is our biggest weakness.

Um, that's not like the number,

but that's something that lately this is this has been just really hammered home

to me working with horses

and working with humans.

Um, and communication is a much more complex issue than than I think many

of us give it credit for.

Um, so you take you take a horse and a human,

a relationship with a horse and human.

All right?

For that to work, there has to be communication.

Well, we have a couple of problems here.

First off, the horse doesn't speak English, and we don't speak horse.

All right?

But as humans, we insist that the horse comes into our world,

but we're too arrogant

or too lazy or a combination of both to learn to speak horse.

And horses language is not verbal.

It's all movement.

It's all body language. it's all this and so that is a problem.

But another problem is is us and the horse.

We are um we're predator animals.

All right?

We are the human is we're predators.

All right?

We're designed to eat meat.

Our eyes are side by side on the front of our face.

We see one picture

and we're designed to see what we want

and go get it.

The horse is a prey animal.

They are the animal that everything that eats meat wants to eat.

And so they have a complete different instinct.

Their instinct is everything wants to eat meat.

You know, we we wake up of a morning and we say, you know,

I I want to be a trophy husband.

You know, that's my that's my goal.

I read it.

Okay.

I what do I want to go get today?

The horse wakes up and says, I don't want to get eaten today.

Two totally different instinct.

All right.

So to be able to build a communication with a horse,

we have to move into their world

and learn to speak

but learn to think how they think.

Well, I mean we can say men and women are the same thing.

You know that women are different from men.

They have a different way of thinking.

And like I said, my wife and I've been married almost 34 years.

And even today there's things I say

and she absolutely what she heard is not what I said

and and vice versa you know

so communication and you cannot have 34 years of relationship with one person

if there's no communication.

Um I don't like the trend in this circle men's motivation circle.

I don't like the hustle culture as is being brought out and taught today.

I don't agree with it because I think it's out of balance.

I think young men need to know that, hey,

it's okay for you to sit down and to chill and to think.

Cuz I guarantee if you're in the weight room um pumping out all these

reps and running on the machine

and then you're going into the cubicle

and you're flip open a computer

and you're not thinking,

you're learning, you're taking in,

but you're not meditating on stuff and you're not you're not thinking.

But that can be taken.

and so far that young men are made to feel guilty for just sitting

down and thinking and relaxing.

And I understand that there was a tendency in this country.

We had a lot of young men that were not raised with dads.

They weren't raised to work, you know,

and so that it's sitting on the couch playing the stupid Xbox, you know,

not growing up learning to work.

So that pendulum went too far this way.

So now you've got guys who in order to counteract that.

They swung the pendulum too far this way.

And a balanced man needs to be somewhere in the middle.

He needs to be able to work to do what needs to be done

to improve himself.

And he also needs to sat around by the fire in the backyard

and just stay balanced.

There needs to be balance.

>> I wrote an essay about that >> this week.

>> Did you?

Would you mind if I read it to you?

>> Absolutely not.

>> I think type A people have a type B problem

and type B people have a type A problem.

Insecure overachievers need to learn how to chill out

and relax and lazy people need to learn how to work harder

and be disciplined.

Given that you subscribe to me, I'm going to guess you're probably type A.

Some version of a walking anxiety disorder harnessed for productivity, as Andrew Wilkinson says.

Here's the thing you may have already realized.

Type A people with a type B problem get very little sympathy

because a miserable but outwardly successful person always appears to be in a much

more preferential position than the content being lazy

but on the verge of being bankrupt person.

The problems of opportunity will always get less sympathy than ones of scarcity.

One feels like a choice the other like a limitation.

I need someone to teach me how to be disciplined

and work harder feels noble

and upward aiming and charitable.

I need someone to teach me how to switch off

and relax feels dopamineergic

and addicted and transactional

and opulent.

Every underdog movie ever has a training montage of someone working their life out

by working harder.

None included a guy learning how to log out of Slack at 6 p.m.

or finally enjoy a beach holiday.

Type B problems are just as tough as type A ones,

but they require a much less sexy solution.

Peace.

One that you can't achieve by just working harder.

It seems like especially with confidence, right?

Or self-esteem, there's a relationship between confidence and competence.

>> So, what you're looking to do is try

and have what you believe

that you can do be ahead of what you can do.

Now, you're not looking for it to be delusional.

You don't want it to to be able to believe

that you can do something like fly,

right?

But you need to have a relationship between the two.

But what people are asking for is for their confidence to be

so far ahead of their competence

or without having even been competent at anything in the beginning.

And that's just delusion.

That's fantasy.

>> Right.

Well, I believe that you have to build belief.

Belief is like there's an after school special belief where the mom says believe

in yourself and that's all great

but there's also a built belief

and the built belief is one like for me I came from a bad

place.

How I build belief is through the the daunting tasks I put myself through.

So that's proof positive that I can.

So it correlates and that's how this piece of kid I once thought I

was built belief by saying hm I was in three hell weeks I went

to ranger school I tried out for Delta selection >> undeniable stack of proof

>> that is proof motherucker

so whenever you think whenever you think you can't confidence comes from the thing

that you built you must build belief you must build confidence it can't be

like hey I'm I'm going to knock

that out.

You got to look over here and say, "I can knock that out."

Because a lot of people will say, "When you wake up in the morning,

pound your chest, you know,

and look at yourself in the mirror and do all this bullshit."

I hope it works.

What works for me is that everyday resume, the things I know I've accomplished,

the things I know I've done, real hard work,

the real calluses on my mind, the real calluses on my hands.

That's that's it.

The you don't need to pound your chest in the mirror anymore.

If you have that,

it's a belief and it's built on what you put in to yourself.

I came from a small town in Indiana where there was a handful of

black families and a lot of people in

that town.

When you come from a town of 8,000 people,

it's like we had a local plant, Great Dane.

You're like, you know what?

I want to work at Great Dane

and get a house next to my mom.

That's what you know.

So many of us come from these small places in our mind

that we're not willing to think outside only what we've seen.

Our mind works in such a small compartment.

And one thing I was able to do was to dream.

But I was able to dream outside thoseing four walls of that small town.

Until you're able to really put yourself into that dream,

but don't make dreams your master.

That's where you truly become what you're destined to become.

A lot of people sit back

and they dream about being a sports figure

or dream about being a SEAL

or dream about being an astronaut

and all it is is a dream.

They don't put the work behind the dream.

When you become the master of your dream is when you say,

"I want to go be a Navy Seal."

And you say, "Okay,

I'm going to lose 106 lbs in less than three months."

The dream was the one thing I thought about

and the dream was now gone.

The dream goes away and the laundry list ofing details and tasks come up.

That's when you become the master of your dream.

Ryan Holidayiday says talking about the thing

and doing the thing v for the same resources.

Allocate yours appropriately.

That's it.

That's it.

That's the way it works as well.

That's the way that the brain works.

You can actually get these kicks of dopamine by telling your friends about I'm

going to be a Navy Seal.

I'm going to start my training next week.

It's going to be great.

I'm going to feel like this.

>> Feels good.

>> It feels good to talk about that man.

It actually makes you feel good.

Makes you feel proud.

All that But guess what happens?

That alarm clock goes off at 4:00 a.m. to train.

I don't want to be a seal today

or I don't want to be whatever today.

I'll start tomorrow.

And that's the usual pattern of people's lives.

That's why I talk about clearing out the mind.

Until you really want to do something, you're always g be a talker.

You're always going to run your mouth.

So if you wake up in the morning

and you don't want to do something,

you don't care enough about yourself.

And that's what you need to really research is man why am I not

doing this for myself?

That is the number one purpose in life is to better oneself.

So that's the only purpose I need.

So the reason I get up every day even though there's no racers,

there's no school, there's nothing in front of me is

because I have pride in myself.

>> But where do you go to?

You wake up on a morning, it's cold, it's wet, it's dark,

you've got no cartilage in your knee, you've got shitty shorts,

whatever it is that's the issue today.

>> Keep talking.

You've got these problems, right?

>> I need you to keep talking about what you were just saying.

>> It's warm on the couch.

Your Mrs. says, "Stay in bed.

It's comfy.

It's cozy.

You've got work later on.

You had an argument last night.

You're slightly hung over."

>> Cuz I know every motherucker ain't going to do what I'm going to do.

This is how you level up.

That's how you level up.

I know there's a whole bunch of people with that right there.

That fires me up.

That makes me happy. what you just said.

That brings joy to my life right there.

>> Why?

>> Cuz I know there's

so many people that have the ability

and just refuse to get off

that couch,

refuse to study a few more hours, refuse to go deeper, to go further.

And that's where I gain the advantage.

It's so easy to be great nowadays, my friend, cuz most people are weak.

Most people don't want to go to that extra mile.

Most people don't want to find that extra cuz it sucks.

It's miserable.

It's lonely.

A lot of people wonder, "How did you become this?

How did you become so vulnerable?

How do you be how are you doing a podcast now

when you were this kid?

You overcame things.

You fought them.

And now this is what happens.

This is on the other side of overcoming.

You become very very powerful when you overcome yourself.

All those things you once counted from, you were afraid of.

And you face them eye to eye every day.

You now become exactly who you are.

You've faced your demons.

You were able to hear all your past traumas.

When you go to war with yourself,

you find a lot of peace because you know exactly who you are.

And that is where the peace is really found for me.

I'm just stubborn, man.

I just never give up.

There's no world where I ever would have quit.

When I was 11, I just said, "I'm going to be a YouTuber.

I'm going to die trying."

And I meant it.

And so, people hate it, but I'm just the most competitive,

stubborn person you'll ever meet.

And I just never give up.

I just really love solving consistent, complex, hard problems.

I think that's like what gets me out of bed.

And like the harder the problems, the more exciting it is.

I'm like really good at just obsessing over one thing more than anyone else

on the planet.

If I were to say what's my superpower,

it's that I can just obsess endlessly about something

and it's just like kind of who I am.

>> When you think back over the last 10 years of your life

and the the success you've had solving some of these hard problems,

if you were to like break it down into some core components

that you've learned,

one of them is obsession that you've said.

>> Yeah.

>> What are the others?

like you are obviously who you surround yourself with

and um luckily I just got around the right people.

I I feed off the energy of the people around me.

The the core crux of it is like extreme ownership

and don't make excuses

and take extreme ownership.

Take accountability like sure I guess it was out of your control

but it could have been in your control

if you just thought through it more

if you just really cared.

And that's what I was just trying to convey in it.

And the other thing that comes through in this,

but also all of your work is just this idea that nothing is impossible.

>> I don't know why, but when people tell me I can't do something,

I and I don't know where this came from.

It makes me just want to do it more to be honest.

If you tell me I shouldn't do something, that's fine.

But if you tell me I can't,

then I just if everything in my body just wants to go you,

I obviously can.

I mean, does physics allow it?

Then yes, it's possible.

Just do we want to put the time in?

I mean, it's I I feel like people over complicate a lot of things.

It's not that you can't do it.

You just don't want to.

You just got to really love what you do.

I mean, and push through it.

Something I always tell myself is how you feel right now is why no

one else does what you do.

And if you push through this,

that's just more of a reason why no one will ever be who you

are.

And so, it's like I think being able to push through unhappiness

and do things you don't want to do consistently year after year over the

course of a decade is like the ultimate advantage. >> >> being consistently uncomfortable

and like cons being able to consistently suffer over long periods is like arguably

one of the deepest modes.

Like there's a reason no one makes videos like me.

Like not even close because no one wants to live the life I live.

>> What five characteristics would I need to demonstrate to be successful?

>> You got to be very coachable

because whatever I teach you today is going to change,

you know, a year or two from now.

Always learning, always improving.

A big thing for me is you got to see the value in working

here.

This isn't like a job.

This is a career.

Like if you don't realistically see a world where you're working for me in

10 years,

then it's pretty hard for me to invest into you at the level I

want.

Like I'm not I don't like training someone for 6 months,

they work here for a year, and then I lose them.

What I like is I train someone for a year

and then I get nine years of dividends on the back end where they

crush at their job

and I'm constantly paying them more

because they're becoming more valuable with time. like

that is like the eighth wonder of the world is investing heavily in an

employee and then they stick around for a decade.

So, uh, Coachable, uh, sees the value.

Um, obviously obsessed.

I I don't I just don't like working with mediocre people.

I I mean, I really just can't stand it.

It's the fastest way to make me depressed.

Um, is if I have to work with someone who's just not allin

and just loves what they do.

Like I said, I think one of my greatest superpowers is my obsession.

And I think some people would view that as a weakness.

But I just like

if you just think about solving problems three times more than everyone else,

like you're bound to come up with different solutions.

There's just a lot of, you know,

stuff like that that I'm sure

if you listen to like a Steve Jobs interview

or something that he talks about,

it's just the the typical traits.

Obsessed, coachable, allin, sees the value.

>> And what is the single worst trait?

>> Mediocrity.

I mean, it's just like cuz they're not bad enough where you fire them,

but not good.

The problem is like I mean and you see it in full effect.

Great people just love working with great people.

They do.

And there's something about being around great people

that pulls some kind of animal out of you

that just makes you want to do more

and push more and believe things aren't possible.

And I don't know,

when you put me around a bunch of other successful entrepreneurs,

I just turn into a different human than if you put me around,

I don't know, a bunch of people who are just running small businesses

and don't really care

and don't really have much ambition.

I'm like two completely different humans.

And you see that same thing in full effect.

You put a bunch of A players around more A players,

they just build off of each other.

But you like put two

or three C players amongst a bunch of great people

and they'll start pulling them down.

They'll start making them not want to work as much,

make work not as fun.

And so everyone knows get rid of the C players, right?

Obviously get rid of people who aren't all in blah blah blah.

It's the ones that are like they're not an A player,

but they're not a C player.

So it's kind of hard

because you still feed off the energy

and if you get enough of them,

it just drags the overall culture down.

So those are like the worst.

But, you know, when it comes to like the mission critical things like making

videos and things like

that,

that's one of your number one jobs

as leaders is just to make sure your great people are working with other

great people cuz that's like like the number one reason why people leave jobs

isn't money.

You know what I mean?

It's that's like number four on the list.

Don't ask me to list them all.

I don't remember.

I just know the number one thing is do they enjoy who they're working

with?

And people will leave their job

because they hate working with people way before they'll ever leave

because of money.

>> What about your parents?

Mom and dad.

You talk about your mother a lot.

What influence did they both have on you?

>> Um, well, I don't really talk about my dad much.

That's, you know, a long story.

Don't need to get into it.

But my mom, honestly, it was it wasn't it's great now.

Me and my mom have a phenomenal relationship.

But on the come-up, it was it was pretty rough because in 2008,

they were overleveraged.

So, we literally went bankrupt.

And so, my mom was working two jobs and, you know, barely getting by.

And so we I didn't see her

that much because when I was coming home from school,

she was doing her second job.

So it was a lot because she was a single mom raising us.

She's working all the time, you know.

Um I don't talk about a lot of this.

You know, I have Crohn's disease, so I was very sick growing up.

My brother also had issues as well.

And so, you know, we're not the healthiest kids in our teenage year.

She's just trying to get by and take care of us.

And then, you know,

she comes home and she just has this brat that's being annoying and like,

I want to be a YouTuber and she's just begging me.

Sometimes she would literally cry and beg me to do homework.

And I mean, I was I didn't mean it in a mean way.

But I mean, I even one time I literally told her,

"If you want my my homework done so bad,

why don't you just do it?"

You know, like that's that's what I told my mom.

Like what am I doing?

I don't know.

Like I was just like, "I don't I don't care."

Like I I just want to be successful.

I want to build businesses.

And bless her heart.

Luckily, it worked out.

So now I spoiled her.