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The Office
Jan Being A Walking Red Flag for 36 Minutes Straight - The Office US
Jan Being A Walking Red Flag for 36 Minutes Straight - The Office US
The Office
·
36:40 · 22 thg 11, 2025
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0:00
Hey, how you doing?
0:03
>> You drive.
0:04
Had too much wine.
0:08
>> Okay.
0:08
>> After you ended everything with us, I went on a vacation.
0:14
>> It's kind of clear my mind.
0:15
>> Sounds good.
0:16
Sounds fun.
0:16
>> It was.
0:17
Yeah, it was good.
0:19
I think I should just >> get right to the point, you know.
0:23
Um, I I I feel good about myself for the first time in a
0:28
really long time.
0:30
And >> I've made some big changes in my life.
0:36
And I miss you.
0:40
I want us to get back together.
0:46
>> Do you excuse me for a second?
0:48
Oh, >> Defcon 20.
0:54
>> She wants to get back together.
0:56
>> What are you going to do?
0:57
>> I don't know.
0:58
That's why you're here.
0:59
Help me.
1:00
>> You want to get back together with her?
1:01
>> No.
1:02
No.
1:03
What do I do?
1:04
>> Just don't get back together with her.
1:06
>> What if she makes me?
1:07
>> How can she make you get back together with her?
1:09
>> She made me do a lot of things I didn't want to do.
1:12
>> This was a terrible relationship.
1:14
You were not happy when you were with her.
1:15
>> I wasn't.
1:16
You're so much happier now.
1:18
Just go in there and be strong.
1:20
>> You're right.
1:22
You are absolutely right.
1:23
I need to go in there and tell her that we can't be together.
1:28
>> Right.
1:28
>> Wow.
1:28
>> Do it.
1:29
>> I'm in a very good place right now.
1:31
>> Thank you.
1:36
>> Go.
1:36
>> Okay, Jan.
1:40
We need to talk.
1:48
Jan is in a different place right now
1:50
and it is a sign of maturity to give people second chances.
1:55
So, I'm going to hear her out.
2:02
>> Oh my god.
2:08
>> Yeah, bigger actually.
2:10
>> That's crazy.
2:16
Oh my god.
2:17
Can you believe that?
2:21
>> Unbelievable.
2:21
>> Wow.
2:21
>> She could put the cup right there.
2:22
>> I know.
2:23
>> No, it's fine.
2:25
I'm sure it must have been weird for Jim
2:26
when Roy and I were joking around
2:29
that one time.
2:33
I would never do that.
2:35
Waste of money.
2:37
In my experience, guys are way more attracted to the back of you than
2:40
to the front.
2:42
I love fake boobs.
2:44
Often times you find them on strippers.
2:47
>> I find it offensive on natural baby.
2:50
That's how I like them.
2:51
Swing low, sweet chariots.
2:56
>> So there are a lot of things I would like to do differently.
2:58
>> Yeah.
2:58
>> I feel like
2:58
when we first got together
3:00
that I had a problem with my priorities.
3:02
>> First got priorities.
3:03
>> And if we could talk about a a way to approach a possible reconciliation.
3:08
>> Let's get back together.
3:12
No, no, no, no, no.
3:14
I'll tell you this.
3:14
It is not because of the boob job.
3:16
Excuse me.
3:17
Boob enhancement.
3:18
That would be shallow.
3:20
And this is the opposite of shallow.
3:22
This is emotionally magnificent.
3:33
>> Remarkable.
3:33
>> Thanks.
3:33
>> Wait, let me check one more thing.
3:38
>> Okay.
3:44
All right.
3:45
Good.
3:45
All right.
3:45
Well, I um I have to get back,
3:47
but I will see you in New York tomorrow.
3:49
Right.
3:49
>> Yes, indeed.
3:50
>> Good luck with your interview.
3:51
>> Thank you.
4:02
>> Bye.
4:02
>> So, I guess we're getting back together.
4:05
>> What happened?
4:06
Your advice was good, but Jan's was bigger.
4:10
>> Here's the sitch.
4:12
Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life.
4:16
She treated me poorly.
4:18
We didn't connect.
4:19
I was miserable.
4:21
Now I'm in the best relationship of my life with the same woman.
4:28
Love is a mystery.
4:39
Oh my god, it's Jan.
4:45
>> Dear God in heaven.
4:50
>> Jan used to be one of my superiors,
4:52
and she is one of the most erratic
4:54
and terrifying people I have ever met.
4:59
>> You son of a You're firing me.
5:01
Where the hell do you get off?
5:03
>> Jim and I are pretty sure she had an affair with her ex- assistant,
5:05
Hunter.
5:06
He was 17.
5:08
But she looks great.
5:10
If she asks, will you tell her I said that?
5:13
Forget everything we taught you.
5:17
Hey, Jan.
5:18
It's so great to see you.
5:19
Where's Wallace?
5:21
What?
5:21
I was under the impression David Wallace would be coming.
5:23
He bought back Dunder Mifflin, correct?
5:27
>> Hey, your daughter could be a bubble bath model.
5:30
I could just bite her head off.
5:34
>> Sorry.
5:34
Um, David is in Vermont.
5:37
Did you speak with him?
5:38
He sent Dwight instead.
5:42
>> Molly, David Wallace is in Vermont.
5:45
>> Oh my god.
5:46
Um, I talked to his assistant
5:47
and I guess it did get a little confusing cuz you said not to
5:49
tell anyone your name
5:51
and then also these Bluetooths are very hard to hear with.
5:53
I know you love the way they look,
5:55
but Tom never had us use them.
5:56
So, >> I am not Tom.
5:59
I am Jan.
6:00
I'm so sorry, Jim.
6:08
Anyway, thought it would be fun to have a little chat with uh David
6:12
Wallace after all these years.
6:15
Oh, well, >> what are you doing?
6:23
>> Listening.
6:23
>> Stop.
6:23
>> Sorry.
6:23
>> Stop that.
6:26
>> Okay.
6:26
>> So, this was all just a trick.
6:28
You don't really have any business to give.
6:30
>> No, I I do.
6:32
>> But not to us.
6:34
>> Insightful, ma'am.
6:36
>> You did good, Dwight.
6:37
It's okay.
6:38
Seriously, Jan's not normal.
6:39
Let's just go.
6:40
She's not going to sell to us.
6:43
>> Yes, she is.
6:45
Now, I may not have any instincts with women,
6:47
but I have an instinct for sales.
6:49
You keep her occupied.
6:50
I'll be right back.
6:53
>> What?
6:53
>> Pam?
6:54
Yeah, I'm a very busy woman, so >> Yeah.
6:56
Um, do you have any other pictures of Astrid?
7:00
>> Fine, I will show you one slideshow.
7:05
>> Mommy, you're a princess.
7:09
Mommy, you're a star.
7:13
Mommy, you're the greatest.
7:17
How could I ever?
7:25
Wow, >> your voice is as lovely as ever.
7:29
>> A >> and it is so cute how she signs her name.
7:32
>> Well, that that was that was me, too.
7:35
>> Oh, okay.
7:36
It's just that's how Cece does it with the backwards ease.
7:38
>> CeCe can't spell her name.
7:40
>> Oh, actually, she can.
7:41
>> No, it's not really much of a comparison, is it?
7:43
I mean, CeCe is two letters, and Astrid is I mean,
7:46
there's even some adults who who who can't spell it.
7:49
>> Of course.
7:50
>> Can you spell it?
7:52
Try to spell it, Pam.
7:54
>> Um, a X.
7:58
I don't.
7:59
You got me.
8:01
>> Don't patronize me.
8:03
I'm so sorry.
8:04
I hate this.
8:05
You're better.
8:07
>> Excuse me.
8:07
Could I get some more water?
8:10
>> No.
8:10
>> Jan, you thought I had no more cards left to play.
8:14
Well, I've got one, man.
8:17
Boy, the ace of babes.
8:19
>> Oh my god.
8:20
What does a quiz knows?
8:23
You're the quiznos.
8:25
>> Jan, may I introduce to you your own personal Dunder Mifflin liaison devoted
8:30
to servicing this account with total client satisfaction?
8:34
I sense that Molly wasn't quite meeting your needs.
8:40
Nothing like uh your old assistant, Hunter.
8:45
Was that his name?
8:48
>> I I I don't recall.
8:50
And yes, Molly is crap.
8:52
>> Okay, you do not have to do this.
8:55
>> Do what?
8:55
Get in the sales.
8:56
That's what I want.
8:58
>> He's been growing that mustache for weeks.
9:02
Best he can do.
9:03
I'm so young.
9:07
>> Will you uh you can you turn around for me, please?
9:14
>> Dwight, you can go.
9:15
I will call you in a week
9:16
or so and let you know whether I want your business.
9:19
>> Very good.
9:23
Do you have a valid passport?
9:27
>> It's fire.
9:28
>> Uhhuh.
9:29
Bonfire.
9:30
>> Bon >> then.
9:30
Love this one.
9:31
>> James Bonfire.
9:33
I am Bonfire.
9:34
James Bonfire.
9:36
Back.
9:38
>> I get frustrated or irritated or angry.
9:42
I come up here
9:43
and I just smell all my candles
9:45
and it just poof goes away.
9:47
>> Just like that.
9:48
>> Just like that.
9:48
It's been a rough couple of weeks.
9:50
>> Well, >> I just got into a little trouble with the neighbors.
9:53
>> Little trouble.
9:54
>> Yes.
9:55
Well, Jan fell asleep during her neighborhood watch shift.
9:59
>> Wow.
9:59
You do neighborhood watch?
10:00
>> I did.
10:01
And I had a very late shift
10:03
and I had a little bit of wine
10:04
and >> I fell asleep.
10:06
>> So, she passed out
10:08
and some kids spray paint a swear word on the neighbor's dog.
10:12
>> Yeah.
10:12
>> And the neighbors blamed Jan.
10:15
>> Yeah.
10:15
>> But, you know, it was my fault.
10:17
And it's like, you know,
10:18
the dog shouldn't have been outside in the first place.
10:20
Anyway, it's a tragedy really
10:22
because >> the paint is not going to come off the dog until it
10:25
sheds.
10:26
So, >> yeah.
10:29
>> Um, >> is it going to be party favors later?
10:31
Get them as you go out.
10:32
>> Oh, we'll have a whole box.
10:35
>> Close that.
10:37
I don't have to smell it.
10:38
>> So, this is the master bedroom.
10:41
And, uh, these walls, they used to be like white, like an asylum.
10:44
So, I wanted it to be softer,
10:45
so I had it painted in eggshell white.
10:48
>> Guess what?
10:49
White and eggshell white are exactly the same color.
10:53
>> Exactly.
10:53
>> I thought you said that you were going to tidy things up.
10:55
>> Well, I >> Shame on you.
11:00
>> What a cute bench.
11:02
>> Thanks.
11:02
That's my bed.
11:03
>> Jen has uh some space issues, so I curl up on that puppy.
11:07
>> Really?
11:08
Cuz >> seems pretty narrow and short.
11:12
>> It's actually a lot bigger than it seems.
11:13
Look at this.
11:15
See, he fits perfectly.
11:25
Oh, okay.
11:26
It's nice.
11:27
Everybody enjoying their meal?
11:31
>> Hey, babe.
11:32
>> Yeah.
11:32
>> How about we take the beer sign down until our guests leave
11:35
and then we can discuss it?
11:36
>> No.
11:37
No.
11:38
I'm going to leave it up.
11:39
I think it ties the whole room together.
11:49
>> Okay.
11:49
>> >> Jan thinks Hunter is very talented.
11:52
>> You know what?
11:54
>> I don't think he's that good.
11:55
>> At least he's an artist.
11:57
>> BFD.
11:58
I'm a screenwriter.
11:59
>> And I'm a candle maker, but you don't hear me bragging about it.
12:03
>> No.
12:03
All you do is you get me to try to work on my rich
12:07
friends >> for an investment opportunity.
12:10
Man, I would love to burn your candles.
12:12
>> You burn it, you buy it.
12:14
>> Oh, good.
12:15
I'll be your first customer.
12:16
>> But you're hardly my first.
12:32
That is a $200 plasma screen TV you just killed.
12:36
Good luck >> paying me back on your $0 a year salary plus benefits, babe.
12:47
>> Oh my god.
12:48
Is that Jan?
12:50
>> What?
12:50
>> Where?
12:50
>> What?
12:50
>> On the left.
12:52
>> No, no, no, no.
12:53
That's a >> No.
12:54
That's a German woman named Urgu.
12:57
Michael and Jan together in Jamaica.
13:02
I guess I would just need a little bit more evidence than seeing it
13:07
with my own eyes.
13:11
I don't know if Michael
13:12
and Jan really went to Jamaica
13:13
because Michael's way into Photoshop.
13:16
For example, I never went with him to Egypt.
13:21
Jan told me to play it cool
13:23
and not tell anybody
13:24
because it could get us both in trouble.
13:26
So officially I did not see her,
13:33
but I did see Jen there in our room at night
13:41
and in the morning.
13:42
That's all I'm going to say.
13:50
Sex.
13:53
We had sex.
13:54
I had sex with her.
13:55
All right.
13:57
Sex with Jan.
13:58
>> Hey dude, just got back from Jamaica.
14:00
>> Big whoop.
14:01
I was in hot Atlanta.
14:03
That whole town is whacked.
14:05
>> Yeah, that sounds amazing.
14:06
But you know what?
14:07
The lady Jan Levenson wanted to go to Montego Bay.
14:11
>> You took the ice clean.
14:13
I don't buy it.
14:15
>> Well, I'm looking at a photo right now and I'm telling you,
14:20
it could be in Maxim.
14:21
>> They wouldn't give you a subscription to Maxim.
14:24
Oh no.
14:26
>> Okay.
14:27
Well, check this out.
14:32
I'm sending you some email.
14:37
You got it.
14:39
>> No, I got nothing.
14:41
>> Check it again.
14:42
Hit refresh.
14:44
>> Yeah, Mike.
14:45
Still nothing.
14:46
>> Okay.
14:47
Wait a second.
14:47
I sent it to you at packerdundermifflin.com. packaging at thunderbol.com.
14:55
Uhoh.
14:55
>> Hello everyone.
15:12
>> Hello Michael.
15:14
>> Hi Jan.
15:15
You look tan.
15:20
I was in Scottdale visiting my sister.
15:24
>> Yeah.
15:24
How was it?
15:26
>> Very sunny.
15:28
>> Family's important.
15:31
>> Michael, I would like to speak with you in your office.
16:12
>> Yep.
16:12
Why am I here?
16:13
Michael In the last year, I've gone through a divorce, an identity theft,
16:19
a husband who would not communicate.
16:23
This is neither here nor there.
16:24
My psychiatrist thinks that I have some self-destructive tendencies
16:27
and that for once I should indulge them.
16:31
You following me?
16:32
>> Uh uh yes.
16:34
>> I think I owe it to myself to find some kind of happiness,
16:40
you know?
16:40
No, I mean even even
16:41
if it means lowering my expectations
16:44
or or redefining the word itself.
16:48
>> Okay.
16:48
Yeah, >> this is the thing you know I am attracted to you.
16:54
I I don't know why I
16:57
but I am and I need to follow my instincts.
17:02
At least that's what Dr.
17:03
Perry thinks.
17:05
>> I was Dr.
17:06
Perry.
17:07
I >> This is the point.
17:09
Okay.
17:10
You're wrong for me >> in in every way,
17:16
but I still >> find myself wanting to be with you.
17:29
and I to you in addition feel the same feelings
17:37
that you are as well.
17:46
>> Good.
17:47
Good.
17:52
>> So, um thanks for coming by.
17:56
>> So, I uh >> Oh, great.
17:59
Okay.
18:02
>> Okay.
18:02
>> Thank you for taking time.
18:04
>> Well, thanks for coming over.
18:05
I appreciate that.
18:11
>> Wait 15 minutes.
18:13
Find an excuse and meet me at your condo.
18:23
>> Okay.
18:23
Jan, you complete me.
18:31
Oh god.
18:41
>> Jan.
18:41
>> Hi Jim.
18:43
>> What do we have here?
18:44
>> Ah, this is my baby.
18:46
>> Really?
18:50
>> Oh no.
18:56
>> >> So, this is Astard.
18:59
>> Astrid.
18:59
>> Oh, okay.
19:01
Why didn't you call me?
19:03
>> Well, um, you know,
19:04
labor just kind of started very suddenly
19:07
and it was the birth instructor thought it wasn't a good idea for him
19:10
to be there.
19:11
So, that kind >> he had no sense of humor
19:14
and I proved him wrong in
19:15
so many ways.
19:16
>> You don't have any idea what I've been through.
19:18
>> No, I don't at >> I'm sorry.
19:21
I thought today at the baby shower would be a good time for the
19:24
two of you to meet.
19:25
>> Can I hold her?
19:26
>> Yes.
19:27
Yes, you can.
19:35
>> You know, I think just leave her in the car seat.
19:37
Just >> Yeah.
19:51
All right.
19:51
Okay.
19:51
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege
19:53
and honor to present for the first time in her life
19:56
and in the office.
19:58
Aid >> Tred Levenson.
20:02
>> Hi, Astred.
20:03
This is everybody.
20:04
Look, this is your family.
20:07
You're going to know them for the rest of your life.
20:09
>> Well, well, he may not be here.
20:12
Say hello.
20:14
Okay, here we go.
20:16
Lion King.
20:17
>> Michael.
20:17
Michael.
20:17
Michael.
20:18
Okay, that's Yeah, that's that's too high.
20:19
I'll take that.
20:20
>> Okay.
20:20
Okay.
20:21
>> Come on.
20:22
Let's get our shower on.
20:23
Conference room.
20:24
Choppity chip chop.
20:26
>> Are you okay?
20:27
You seem kind of >> I'm fine, weirdo.
20:32
Such an HR weirdo.
20:34
Try not to suck all the air out of there when you walk in.
20:41
Being good isn't always easy.
20:44
No matter how hard I try.
20:47
When he started sweet talking to me,
20:49
he'd come and tell me everything is all right.
20:52
He kiss and tell me everything is all right.
20:55
And can I get away again tonight?
20:58
The only one.
20:59
How well I remember the look that was in his eyes.
21:05
Stealing kisses from me on the slide.
21:08
Taking time to make time.
21:10
Telling me that he's all mine.
21:13
Learning from each other's knowing. looking to see how much we've got the old.
21:19
>> So, Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of child birth.
21:22
>> Well, actually, I uh I had a tub birth
21:24
and that was really really quite amazing.
21:26
>> You gave birth in a tub.
21:28
>> Yeah, it's it's a really nice transition from womb to to world, you know,
21:31
kind of like a big womb.
21:32
>> Um, so you're in the tub with everything.
21:35
>> Oh, yeah.
21:35
The afterbirth floats.
21:36
Yeah.
21:36
>> Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.
21:38
>> Oh, no.
21:39
It's actually really hygienic creed.
21:41
And >> after the birth, we get out and we deliver the afterbirth.
21:43
Hey, hey.
21:44
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
21:47
This is the birth story.
21:48
It was beautiful.
21:50
It was beautiful.
21:51
This is a once in a-lifetime experience.
21:54
And I should have been there.
21:55
I should have been there to witness this.
21:58
>> I could have about this.
21:59
I know that.
22:00
And I wish that I
22:01
But would it help
22:02
if you held Astrid for just a a little bit?
22:08
>> Uh, yeah.
22:09
>> Okay.
22:10
All right.
22:12
Um, I'm just going to lie down for a couple of minutes.
22:14
I'm exhausted.
22:15
So, um, remind me to talk to you about Astrid's 529.
22:18
Wake me in 20.
22:33
>> Oh, I was just catching up on my sleep.
22:40
Can >> imagine.
22:40
Where's Astred?
22:42
Oh, I think she's on a sales call.
22:44
On a what?
22:46
More paper.
22:52
No, she's just on a coffee break.
22:54
>> That's funny.
22:57
She's with Angela.
23:02
>> That's good.
23:03
Now, I need you to I need it to look up here.
23:06
Get the baby to look.
23:07
>> Okay.
23:07
>> Up here.
23:08
Ready?
23:08
Yeah.
23:10
>> Look at my finger.
23:11
Look.
23:12
Look.
23:12
>> Now look.
23:13
>> Come on up here.
23:15
>> Look up here.
23:16
>> Your hands in it.
23:17
>> What?
23:17
Sorry.
23:18
>> What are you doing?
23:19
>> Yeah, that was a good one.
23:20
>> What's going on?
23:21
Excuse me.
23:21
>> I'm taking a picture.
23:22
>> Oh, there you are.
23:23
>> She's nature's.
23:24
>> They don't flash around a newborn baby.
23:26
Don't you know that?
23:28
>> Mr.
23:28
Scott, can you describe the circumstances of Miss Levenson's termination?
23:32
>> Well, it was not just a termination.
23:34
It was a pattern of disrespect and inappropriate behavior.
23:38
Oh, very good.
23:40
Well put.
23:41
>> People underestimate Michael.
23:42
There are plenty of things that he is well above average at,
23:46
like ice skating.
23:47
He is a very good ice skater.
23:50
>> How long have you known the plaintiff?
23:52
>> I haven't actually seen it,
23:54
but I have seen the firm
23:55
and I am planning on renting the Pelican brief.
23:58
>> How long have you known Miss Levenson?
24:00
>> 6 years and 2 months.
24:02
>> And you were directly under her the entire time?
24:04
>> That's what she said.
24:05
>> Excuse me?
24:06
That's what she said.
24:08
>> Miss Levenson told you that she was your direct superior?
24:11
>> What?
24:12
Why would she say that?
24:14
>> Can we just move on to another question?
24:15
>> No, wait.
24:15
I don't I don't understand who's on record as saying this.
24:18
>> With all due respect, I'm in the middle of a line of questioning now.
24:20
Mr.
24:21
Scott, what did you say Miss Levenson said regarding your employment status with respect
24:26
to her corporate position?
24:27
>> Come again.
24:28
That's what she said.
24:29
I don't know what you're talking about.
24:30
>> If I may, he he was just telling a joke before.
24:32
So, can we move on to another question?
24:34
>> Are you sure?
24:35
Uh, yes.
24:36
>> Can you go back to where this degression began?
24:39
>> Mr.
24:39
Schneider, and you were directly under her the entire time, Mr.
24:43
Scott, that's what she said.
24:47
>> Well, delivery is all wrong.
24:48
Butchering it.
24:50
>> Did Ms.
24:50
Levenson ever say why she thought she was being fired?
24:53
>> She thought it had to do with the twins.
24:56
That's what I called them.
24:57
>> Can you be more specific?
24:59
Who are the twins?
25:00
Um, to be delicate, they hang off my lady's chest.
25:05
They make milk.
25:08
>> You don't need to go any further.
25:09
Her breasts.
25:10
>> Yes.
25:10
>> She thought it had something to do with her recent breast enhancement surgery.
25:14
>> Yes.
25:14
And frankly, the timing was nothing short of predominant.
25:20
>> What about your romantic relationship with Miss Levenson?
25:23
Could that have played a part in her termination?
25:26
Well, if it did, then the company is breaking its own rules.
25:30
>> Interesting.
25:31
How so?
25:33
>> Because before we started dating, we disclosed our relationship to HR,
25:39
and I have the proof right here.
25:44
>> Okay.
25:45
The company has just a few uh clarifying questions, Mr.
25:48
Scott, if that's okay with you.
25:49
>> I will allow it.
25:50
Um would you mind please just uh taking a quick look at uh this
25:56
photograph please?
26:01
>> Uh >> that is uh you and Miss Levenson in Jamaica.
26:04
Is that correct?
26:05
>> And that photograph was taken more than 2 months prior to the start
26:08
of your relationship.
26:09
Does that sound right?
26:10
>> Mr.
26:11
Scott, the timeline here is actually very important.
26:13
Please, when did your relationship actually begin?
26:16
>> Well, depends on how you define begin.
26:19
I mean, if it's from the first time we shook hands,
26:21
it's like six years ago.
26:22
It's from the first time we kissed, it's like two years ago.
26:24
>> Excuse me.
26:25
>> If it was from the first time we kissed sober,
26:27
it was like four months after that.
26:29
>> Can we take a short break?
26:30
>> No.
26:31
Are you telling me
26:31
that your relationship began 2 years ago
26:34
and not in February
26:35
as you previously testified to here?
26:40
>> Line.
26:40
>> I'm sorry.
26:40
What?
26:41
>> He asked for a line like in a play.
26:46
Jan and I had an on-again, off-again relationship for two years,
26:52
and I know this destroys her case, and I am sorry,
26:56
but I throw myself at the mercy of the deposition.
26:59
>> Thank you, Mr.
27:00
Scott.
27:01
That's all we needed to know.
27:03
>> Wait, we'd like to enter into the record a page from Michael Scott's
27:07
personal journal.
27:08
>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
27:09
What are you doing with my diary?
27:11
>> This is pliff's exhibit 107.
27:14
I quote from an entry dated January 4 of this past year.
27:18
Just got back from Jamaica.
27:20
Tan almost everywhere.
27:22
Jan almost everywhere.
27:24
He he.
27:25
Oh, diary.
27:26
What a week.
27:26
I had sex with my boss.
27:28
I don't know if it's going to go anywhere.
27:30
Jan was very specific that this is not going anywhere.
27:33
That it was a one-time mistake.
27:35
But we had sex six times, so you tell me.
27:38
I am definitely feeling very eerie.
27:41
Irie.
27:42
>> I sorry.
27:44
More tomorrow.
27:45
XOXO.
27:46
Michael, >> it would appear
27:48
that neither you nor Miss Levenson considered you had a relationship in any sense
27:52
of the word.
27:53
Is that correct?
27:54
>> We're going to need to see a copy of
27:55
that entire journal before we proceed.
27:57
>> I don't think anyone in this room has a right to read my diary.
27:59
>> It's basic discovery.
28:00
We have the right to review it.
28:02
>> Okay, let's make 10 copies of this diary.
28:04
>> Um, could you make it 11?
28:07
>> 11?
28:08
Sure.
28:09
And we'll break for lunch.
28:10
So everyone can have a look.
28:15
>> How could you give up my diary like that?
28:16
>> I had to.
28:17
I'm sorry, but I need to win this.
28:18
We need to win this.
28:20
>> How'd you even find it?
28:21
>> You keep it under my side of the mattress.
28:23
>> I don't like the lump.
28:24
I'm really upset about this.
28:25
>> All right.
28:26
I stole your diary and gave it to my lawyer.
28:28
You emailed a topless photo of me to everyone in our company.
28:31
Let's call it even.
28:32
>> Fine.
28:33
I love you.
28:34
>> I love you, too.
28:36
>> So, this one goes with my eyes and this one goes with your eyes.
28:39
People have said I have very pretty eyes.
28:42
>> You do?
28:42
>> I haven't heard the same about you.
28:44
So, let's just go with mine.
28:45
>> Well, they both go with the carpet that I've ordered.
28:48
And if we go with the brown leather on the sofas,
28:50
then they go with that, too.
28:51
>> We already have a sofa.
28:52
So, why don't >> futon's not a sofa.
28:54
>> It's folds up.
28:55
You've only seen it flat.
28:56
>> I know what a futon is, >> okay?
28:59
How much is this going to cost?
29:00
>> It costs what it costs.
29:02
>> No, don't that doesn't even mean anything.
29:04
>> Okay, we have gone through this.
29:05
Yes, money has been a little bit tight lately.
29:08
But at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht,
29:13
am I going to be thinking about how much money I have?
29:15
No.
29:16
I'm going to be thinking about how many friends I have
29:20
and my children and my comedy albums.
29:24
I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well moneywise.
29:30
It's just, you know, you say it's going to cost what it >> Yeah.
29:34
Michael, it's Ryan for you.
29:36
>> Good night.
29:36
Little R.
29:37
>> Put him through.
29:38
>> Put him through.
29:39
Yes, Ryan.
29:40
My man.
29:41
>> I sent you an email about the new PowerPoint.
29:43
>> Yes.
29:43
And thank you for sending that to me.
29:44
>> I had it install the updated PowerPoint on your computer
29:47
so you can use it for the presentation.
29:49
I really want people there using PowerPoint.
29:51
>> Okay.
29:51
Yeah.
29:52
No, I don't know.
29:53
I don't know.
29:53
I think those IT guys messed up.
29:55
>> Hold on.
29:55
I'll get them on the phone.
29:56
>> Wait.
29:57
No.
29:57
Here it is.
29:57
Here it is.
29:58
Found it.
29:58
>> So, um, I forgot to tell you that I need the car tonight.
30:01
Oh.
30:01
Um, actually, I need the car.
30:05
>> Why?
30:05
For improv.
30:07
Well, why don't you just pretend that you have a car?
30:11
Good practice in case you ever do a scene where you need to pretend
30:14
you have a car.
30:15
>> Used to have two cars.
30:17
Traded them in.
30:17
Now we're down to one.
30:19
Good economic sense.
30:22
Although the new car is a Porsche for her.
30:33
I'm sorry, Mr.
30:34
O'Brien.
30:34
I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner.
30:36
I just have a very exciting offer.
30:38
My records indicate that you have expressed interest in losing some weight.
30:42
Well, what if I told you
30:43
that I have a pill
30:44
that will make you 50 lbs lighter in 5 minutes.
30:47
How would that sound?
30:48
>> Amazing, right?
30:49
Well, it won't be that fast, but it will it will be that easy.
30:56
Hey, how you doing?
30:59
>> You drive.
31:00
Had too much wine.
31:04
>> Okay.
31:04
How was yoga?
31:05
>> I didn't go.
31:07
>> Why?
31:07
Why not?
31:08
>> I just didn't.
31:10
>> Okay.
31:10
>> How was improv?
31:14
>> Good night, Vicram.
31:16
>> Night.
31:16
>> Hey, congrats on the bonus.
31:17
>> Thank you, Michael.
31:18
>> I'm going to nab it one of these nights.
31:19
>> Well, if you concentrate and make your calls faster.
31:22
Yeah.
31:26
Good night.
31:26
Night.
31:31
>> This is a lot of credit card debt.
31:32
Yeah, tell me about it.
31:34
>> You know, Jan has my credit cards
31:36
and she's using them
31:38
as if I'm made of money.
31:39
She thinks I'm a human ATM machine.
31:42
>> Okay.
31:43
$125.
31:44
Amazon.
31:46
>> Oh, best of them show on DVD.
31:48
Classic.
31:50
$1,200.
31:50
What's a core blaster extreme?
31:53
That is by far the best way to strengthen your core.
31:56
This machine, you sit on a stabilizer ball,
32:00
you put your feet into the power stirrups,
32:02
you reach up and you grab onto the super rod
32:04
and you twist and you twist
32:06
and you twist.
32:08
It strengthens your entire core, your back core, your arm core,
32:14
your the marine core actually uses it.
32:18
I think that's how they got core.
32:20
Michael, I'm going to set you and Jan up with a debt consolidator.
32:22
You meet with this guy.
32:24
We are going to leave Jan out of this.
32:26
>> She has to know.
32:27
>> We will find another way.
32:29
We'll ask PowerPoint.
32:31
Michael, this is a presentation tool.
32:33
>> You're a presentation tool.
32:35
If you think I'm going to tell Jan about this, >> I'm done.
32:37
>> No, you're not.
32:38
Okay, just You're not a tool.
32:40
Look, we'll tell her that it's bad,
32:42
but it could have been a lot worse,
32:44
but due to some fancy financial footwork,
32:47
I was able to cut it in half.
32:50
Jen is smart.
32:52
She poses.
32:53
>> You're broke.
32:55
>> How that's How did you get that from what Oscar saying?
32:59
>> I mean, Michael, how did this happen?
33:01
Where exactly did your money go?
33:05
>> I I don't I don't get this.
33:07
I really don't.
33:08
I don't I don't understand how you could be so irresponsible.
33:15
I mean, it's just it is astounding to me.
33:20
Really?
33:20
I don't know what more to say.
33:23
>> Yeah.
33:24
What?
33:24
>> Michael left.
33:27
>> Okay.
33:27
Where did he go?
33:29
>> I don't know.
33:31
>> Well, is he coming right back?
33:33
>> I don't think so.
33:38
>> I'll be right there.
33:47
Chad, he went running that way.
33:54
>> Run away train back.
33:59
Run away and I'm coming back.
34:04
>> Michael.
34:04
>> Hey, Jan.
34:08
>> What's going on?
34:11
Not much.
34:13
>> What's up with you?
34:13
>> Well, why are you sitting on a train?
34:15
Where are you going?
34:16
>> I'm out of answers, Jan.
34:18
>> What does that mean?
34:19
>> I told you no more answers.
34:23
This is who I am now.
34:26
A guy on a train with no answers.
34:30
I hope that can be enough for you, >> Michael.
34:32
Come on.
34:34
Running away from your problems won't solve anything.
34:36
You know that.
34:37
>> I don't know that.
34:37
Your creditors can follow you anywhere with ease.
34:40
Your debt follows you around the world electronically.
34:43
>> I'll stay off the grid.
34:44
>> Oh, Michael, come on.
34:46
Come on.
34:47
You can deal with this.
34:48
It's not that bad.
34:51
>> Yeah, it is.
34:54
It is.
34:55
I really messed up.
35:04
Well, when when my life fell apart
35:05
and they and they screwed me in New York
35:06
and I felt like my whole world was collapsing around me,
35:09
I didn't have anyone.
35:10
I mean, my whole family still won't even talk to me on the advice
35:13
of council and my friends were just waiting for this to happen.
35:18
>> That's really nice of you to say, >> Michael.
35:20
No, what I want to say is you were there for me by my
35:26
side. without even a thought.
35:31
That's just who you are.
35:37
I mean, no matter how badly I treat you or what I'm going through,
35:45
you just you are there for me.
35:48
And that is a guy worth staying beside.
35:54
>> So, where's this train taking us?
36:02
I I think the engineer left.
36:07
>> Don't sell your implants, please.
36:09
>> I'm keeping them.
36:10
I know you like them.
36:14
>> They're kind of uncomfortable, though.
36:16
>> That's nice though.
36:17
>> Kind of.
36:18
And my nipples are sensitive now.
36:19
>> Looks cute though.
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