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The Office
Michael Scott Moments That Make Me Respect Him - The Office US
Michael Scott Moments That Make Me Respect Him - The Office US
The Office
·
25:21 · 7 thg 1, 2026
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Chấm điểm phát âm chưa hỗ trợ trên trình duyệt này — bạn vẫn ghi âm & nghe lại được.
We
should
come
up
with
a
signal
of
some
sort.
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0:00
We should come up with a signal of some sort.
0:03
Why would we need a signal?
0:04
>> Well, in case one of us gets into trouble,
0:06
the other one can signal and >> of trouble are you planning on getting in,
0:09
Michael?
0:09
>> Well, I could be either of us.
0:11
You're going to let me do the talking.
0:12
We agreed on that.
0:14
Yes.
0:19
Hello.
0:20
Christian?
0:21
Yes.
0:21
Thought that was you.
0:22
Hi.
0:22
Hi.
0:23
Michael Scott, this is Jan Levinson-Gould.
0:27
>> Just Jan Levinson.
0:27
>> And No Gould?
0:27
>> No.
0:27
Thank you very much for meeting with us.
0:29
Have you been waiting long?
0:30
>> No, not long.
0:31
>> Good.
0:32
Uh Jan, what happened?
0:34
Michael.
0:34
It's called Dad.
0:35
What uh Michael, we got divorced, okay?
0:38
I'm so sorry.
0:39
Excuse me. >> me.
0:40
Do you want to talk about it?
0:41
Michael.
0:42
Could we have a table for three, please?
0:44
When did this happen?
0:45
We're in a meeting.
0:46
Okay.
0:47
>> This way, please.
0:47
>> Please to meet you.
0:48
All right.
0:48
After you.
0:49
Thank you.
0:55
I thought we could start by going over the needs of the county.
0:58
Right.
0:59
Well, Lackawanna County has not been immune to the slow economic growth over the
1:04
past five years.
1:06
So, for us, the name of the game is budget reduction.
1:10
>> Awesome blossom.
1:12
What?
1:12
I think we should share an awesome blossom.
1:14
What do you say?
1:14
They are awesome.
1:15
Want to, Christian?
1:16
Awesome.
1:17
Sure.
1:18
Okay, it's done.
1:20
Actually Megan, may we have an awesome blossom, please?
1:23
Extra awesome.
1:24
Now it is done.
1:25
So, um I heard a very, very funny joke the other day.
1:29
You want to hear it?
1:30
Christian, you don't You don't have to listen to this.
1:33
It's okay.
1:34
I like jokes.
1:34
Okay.
1:36
Just the one.
1:37
Just one joke?
1:38
Okay.
1:39
Well, if it's just going to be one I will think of a different
1:43
joke.
1:43
Um The first guy says, "Well, I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn."
1:48
And the second guy says, "Well, I am a pimp,
1:51
so I drive a cheap escort."
1:54
And the third guy says, "I got you both beat.
1:56
I'm a proctologist, so I drive A BROWN PROBE."
2:04
>> >> OH MY GOD, THAT'S FUNNY.
2:07
>> >> ALMOST HAD AWESOME BLOSSOM COMING OUT OF MY NOSE.
2:12
>> >> Can I get a vodka tonic, please?
2:15
Hey, that's delicious.
2:17
>> >> I love it.
2:18
We would probably be upset with ourselves
2:21
if we went this whole night without talking business.
2:23
So, Dunder Mifflin can provide a level of personal service to the county
2:29
that the warehouse chain just can't match.
2:32
Well, we are out to save money.
2:34
>> What's the bottom line?
2:38
That's why I wanted a signal between us,
2:41
so I wouldn't have to just shout nonsense words.
2:44
That's her fault.
2:46
Did somebody say baby back ribs?
2:53
I don't think Christian has time for that.
2:55
I have time.
2:57
I want my baby back baby back baby back.
3:00
I want my baby back baby back baby back.
3:02
I want my baby back baby back ribs.
3:06
Right down the street?
3:08
>> Mhm.
3:08
Kenneth Road, born and raised.
3:10
Spent my whole life right here in Lackawanna County,
3:13
and I do not intend on moving.
3:15
Mhm.
3:15
I know this place.
3:16
I know how many hospitals we have, >> the schools we have.
3:21
It's home, you know?
3:23
I know the challenges county's up against.
3:26
Here's the thing about those discount suppliers.
3:28
They don't care.
3:29
They come in, they undercut everything, and they run us out of business,
3:33
and then, once we're all gone, they jack up the prices.
3:37
I know.
3:37
>> It's bad.
3:38
It's terrible.
3:38
>> It is.
3:39
You know what?
3:39
It really is.
3:42
Um I don't know.
3:44
I guess I could give you guys our business,
3:46
but you have to meet me halfway, okay?
3:49
Because they're expecting me to make cuts.
3:53
Well, Corp is going to go ballistic, but uh you think we could, Jan?
4:00
See ya.
4:00
Bye.
4:06
Thanks.
4:06
Yes.
4:07
We did it.
4:08
We got it.
4:08
>> Nailed it.
4:09
Nailed it.
4:10
Come here.
4:10
Yes.
4:13
I am really thrilled.
4:15
Thrilled.
4:23
Hey.
4:23
Can I talk to you guys for a second?
4:24
We're not hiring, Jim.
4:25
I'm actually here for something else.
4:26
Listen, I can't make you laugh right now.
4:28
>> You know I love a good guessing game,
4:29
but why don't I just tell you what I'm here for?
4:31
Turns out, you guys have made a pretty big dent in the Dunder Mifflin
4:34
sales.
4:34
>> Well, that's nice.
4:35
>> Wallace has asked me to come down here
4:37
and see if you would be interested in Dunder Mifflin buying you out.
4:43
Seriously?
4:43
Are you being serious?
4:44
>> He's bluffing, Pam.
4:45
Jim, what you don't understand is that this company's worth >> Oh.
4:48
No.
4:49
We don't have >> Oh.
4:51
See, I'm here to learn as little information as possible.
4:53
All I really need to hear is
4:55
if your incredibly successful company would be receptive to a buyout.
5:05
Uh yes.
5:06
Yes.
5:07
>> Maybe.
5:07
>> Three yeses.
5:08
I will see you titans of industry upstairs.
5:11
Yes, well, we're not only tight ends, we are also quarterbacks.
5:14
I missed the last part.
5:16
That's a pun.
5:16
>> Got it.
5:17
Yep.
5:23
Oh.
5:23
Wow.
5:24
Okay, so you're not going to reveal in any way that we're broke.
5:28
>> Of course not. >> any any problems at all.
5:31
Right.
5:31
Just to reiterate, none of us is going to say anything
5:35
that might indicate we are going broke.
5:36
>> Right.
5:37
Right.
5:37
There is no way in hell
5:39
that I am going to say
5:40
that we're broke.
5:44
Oh, I'm really worried I'm going to say it.
5:46
No, Michael.
5:48
No, man.
5:49
You're You're fine.
5:50
>> We have to come from a position of strength.
5:52
>> I'm good.
5:53
Just put it out of your mind.
5:54
>> It is.
5:54
I'm good.
6:00
Hello.
6:01
Hi.
6:01
Michael Scott Paper Company to see Mr.
6:03
David Wallace.
6:04
I believe we're expected.
6:10
Well, well, well.
6:13
How the turntables.
6:21
Michael, in order to expedite these negotiations,
6:26
we are prepared to make you a very generous offer.
6:28
>> And we are prepared to reject that offer.
6:31
Michael, you haven't even heard the offer.
6:32
>> Never accept their first offer.
6:34
What is your second offer?
6:39
$12,000.
6:39
Are you kidding me?
6:40
That is insultingly low.
6:42
I don't even want to hear what your first offer was.
6:45
What do you hear?
6:49
Here's the situation.
6:51
Your company is 4 weeks old.
6:52
I know this business.
6:53
I know what suppliers you're charging.
6:55
I know you can't be making very much money.
6:57
I don't know how your prices are so low,
6:59
but I know it can't keep up that way.
7:02
I'm sure you're scared, probably in debt.
7:05
It's the best offer you're going to get.
7:07
I'll see your situation, and I'll raise you a situation.
7:10
Your company is losing clients left and right.
7:14
You have a stock holder meeting coming up,
7:16
and you are going to have to explain to them why your most profitable
7:19
branch is bleeding.
7:22
So, they may be looking for a little change in the CFO.
7:25
So, I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin.
7:27
I think I just have to wait out you.
7:32
Okay.
7:33
Now, I don't know that I can get this.
7:35
I do have to go to the board for approval.
7:39
How's about $60,000?
7:47
60 though.
7:49
Michael.
7:50
Um What?
7:51
I don't know what happened.
7:52
What happened to the dogs?
7:54
What?
7:54
>> We're going to have to talk about this.
7:57
Okay.
7:57
Dad, please take the room.
7:59
We got outside.
8:01
Take your time.
8:07
Oh my god.
8:08
Oh my god.
8:09
>> 60,000.
8:09
>> We are so rich.
8:12
Zing and pep.
8:13
See, that's Those are the kind of words we're looking for.
8:15
Yes, Jim.
8:16
What about if we did an even newer voicemail message
8:19
that had even more zing
8:20
and pep?
8:21
Now we're cooking.
8:22
I like this.
8:23
Maybe a whole theme, like a rap or a rap rhyme. >> thing.
8:26
>> An urban?
8:26
Yeah.
8:27
Stanley, you want to help us out with that?
8:29
Stanley?
8:30
Earth to Stanley.
8:31
Not me.
8:32
Yes, you.
8:32
Come on, Stanley.
8:33
Put your little game down and and join the group.
8:36
>> No.
8:37
Stanley, we're having a little brain We're having a brainstorm session.
8:41
>> Did I stutter?
8:49
Good.
8:50
This is good.
8:50
I'm going to grab a glass of water.
8:59
Can I talk to you in a second?
9:01
Oh, what?
9:03
Uh I really think
9:05
that you need to address what happened with Stanley this morning.
9:09
>> >> What are you blabbering about?
9:10
Nothing happened.
9:11
Well, yeah, Stanley was openly insubordinate.
9:14
That, in the conference room?
9:17
>> Yeah.
9:17
We were joshing around, the two of us, and he said, "Did I stutter?"
9:21
And I said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what, dog?"
9:25
Was joking, Toby, all right?
9:28
He didn't seem like he was joking.
9:29
>> No, you don't get it, because Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful black man,
9:35
and you're you.
9:37
If you had any friends, you would understand.
9:40
Friends joke with one another.
9:41
Hey, um you're poor.
9:43
Well, hey, your mom is dead.
9:45
That's what friends do.
9:49
It's You're so white.
9:51
All right.
9:52
Well, um if you really believe that Stanley was joking, >> Mhm.
9:58
Um why don't we go ask him now?
10:00
Okay, I will.
10:02
I'm not feeling very well right now though.
10:04
My stomach hurts, so I may be going home early today, Bob.
10:08
You know, Michael, so sometimes my daughter's stomach hurts
10:11
when there's a mean girl at school.
10:12
Well, sometimes my stomach hurts when you come into my office.
10:17
So, it's probably psychological.
10:39
I don't understand why you keep picking on me.
10:41
Oh, for the love of God.
10:43
>> You just do it.
10:44
I don't know why.
10:45
So, please help me understand.
10:48
Fine.
10:49
Here it is.
10:50
You are a person I do not respect.
10:53
The things you say, your actions, your methods and style, everything you would do,
10:58
I would do it the opposite way.
11:04
Well, Stanley, maybe you are feeling
11:08
that you don't respect me
11:09
because you don't know me very well.
11:11
Michael, I've known you a very long time,
11:14
and the more I've gotten to know you,
11:16
the less I've come to respect you.
11:19
Any other theories?
11:27
All right, you don't respect me.
11:30
I accept that.
11:33
But listen to me.
11:35
You can't talk to me that way in this office.
11:38
You just can't.
11:40
I am your boss.
11:42
Can't allow it.
11:44
Fair enough.
11:52
I am a good person, and sometimes good people don't get no respect.
11:58
Rodney Dangerfield.
12:01
Hey, I don't get no respect.
12:03
No respect at all.
12:05
When I was in the sandbox as a kid, I got no respect.
12:10
My wife likes to talk after sex.
12:13
So, she called me from a hotel room, said, "I don't respect you."
12:21
Thoughtless.
12:21
Ah, you know what don't get no respect?
12:24
Airplane food.
12:26
Why don't they just make the plane out of the airline food?
12:32
My wife don't get no respect.
12:35
So, take her, please, for example.
12:40
If you don't get no respect, you might be a redneck.
12:43
This party is going to be awesome.
12:46
>> I know.
12:47
That is specifically why I chose a room close to the elevator,
12:51
more foot traffic.
12:53
Check it out.
12:54
That is crooked on that side.
12:58
Wow.
12:58
Hey, hey.
13:00
That is a lot of liquor.
13:02
Yeah.
13:03
And a dartboard.
13:04
Well, that's how we do it in Scranton.
13:06
What, did you forget?
13:07
Ain't no party like a Scranton party, cuz a Scranton PARTY DON'T STOP.
13:14
WE SHOULD PROBABLY HEAD ON DOWN, YOU KNOW, HOOK UP A JAM.
13:17
HEY, we have time.
13:18
One for the road, gentlemen?
13:20
A shot of Midori, perhaps?
13:28
>> >> Oh, no, sorry.
13:28
It's an inside joke.
13:29
There's this bartender in Stanford who uh You know what?
13:33
You just have to be there.
13:34
I wish I was.
13:36
I love inside jokes.
13:37
Love to be a part of one someday.
13:45
Um we should Yeah.
13:47
All right.
13:47
See you guys down there.
13:48
All right.
13:49
>> All right.
13:50
Change your mind, come back up.
13:51
I'll do a shot with you, Michael.
13:52
Yeah, that would be gross.
13:54
Five and a half inches.
14:02
Swag.
14:02
Stuff we all get.
14:04
I basically decorated my condo for free with all of my swag.
14:09
Check it out.
14:10
Oh my god.
14:11
Hi.
14:12
I'm Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin.
14:13
>> Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin. >> fan.
14:17
Thanks.
14:18
Appreciate it, guys.
14:19
You know what?
14:19
I'm having a big blowout tonight, room 308.
14:21
Hope you can come.
14:22
All right, maybe.
14:23
If I can Well, cool.
14:24
Okay, so can I tell people you're going to be there?
14:28
No, you cannot.
14:29
So, maybe.
14:30
See you.
14:31
Why do they call him the boss?
14:33
Because he's afraid to fly.
14:34
Smile.
14:36
Do you remember me from last year?
14:38
There's a party in my room, 308.
14:40
Can't miss it, right off the elevator.
14:41
Tonight, be there.
14:43
All right, Jan just emailed me.
14:45
She wants us to meet up front.
14:46
Yep.
14:47
Yeah, she's up front.
14:48
You don't have email on your phone.
14:50
I don't have to.
14:52
I just know.
14:54
Yes, hello.
14:56
No one just called me.
14:58
Ted, take care.
14:59
I'll see you soon.
14:59
Yeah, stop by later.
15:00
See you in a bit.
15:01
Bye-bye.
15:01
Jim and I have different definitions of friendship.
15:03
I think it's talking and being friends,
15:05
and Jim thinks it's moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh.
15:09
Well, >> >> fooey on that.
15:13
I uh I'm done.
15:15
I'm not going to be speaking with him anymore.
15:18
Whatevs.
15:19
Long distance relationships never work.
15:21
That is so true.
15:24
Ready?
15:24
Mhm.
15:26
Okay.
15:26
Let me tell you what we're looking for.
15:31
Sorry, my meeting ran late.
15:34
Really?
15:34
Yes.
15:35
Jan, really?
15:36
With the rep from Hammermill?
15:38
They're exclusive with Staples.
15:39
Used to be.
15:41
Evan, I'll call you in the morning to work out the details.
15:43
We can now sell Hammermill products.
15:47
Yes!
15:47
Well, Michael, I just I underestimated you.
15:51
Yeah, well, maybe next time you will estimate me.
15:57
It's birthday month.
15:58
Creed's is today, Oscar's is week after next,
16:01
Meredith's is at the end of the month.
16:03
Michael usually goes with red and white streamers for >> I have an idea.
16:07
Why don't we just do one big shared party?
16:10
What?
16:11
There are 13 people working in this office,
16:13
so 13 times a year Michael gets a cake
16:17
and balloons and some sort of joke gift
16:21
and makes a toast.
16:22
And there are two types of toasts.
16:23
One is a joke about how old you are.
16:26
Look at those wrinkles.
16:27
Black stool crack.
16:29
Not crack the drug.
16:30
And the other is something inappropriate or horrible.
16:35
Or both.
16:36
What else?
16:37
He only sings the high harmony to Happy Birthday.
16:42
And he is a very big believer in surprise parties,
16:45
maybe even arguably possibly TO A FAULT.
16:53
>> >> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
16:55
SO, I THINK YEAH,
16:57
I think getting these out of the way might be productive.
17:01
We can just have one big fun party, and everybody's happy,
17:05
and nobody wastes their time.
17:06
I don't like it.
17:09
Jim, can I have my own cake?
17:11
What's that?
17:11
I really prefer devil's food cake.
17:13
Oh, sure.
17:17
Okay.
17:17
Wow, that was easy.
17:18
Yeah, people like me, I guess.
17:22
Jim.
17:22
I hate devil's food.
17:23
I'm having Meredith's.
17:24
Screw Meredith.
17:25
I don't think it's fair to let someone else pick the cake on my
17:27
birthday.
17:28
>> On everybody's birthday.
17:29
Today is actually my birthday, and I want to pick the cake.
17:32
What do you want?
17:32
I want pie.
17:33
I want peach pie.
17:34
On your birthday.
17:34
Or a nice cobbler.
17:35
I'm going to talk to Angela,
17:36
and we're going to see what we can do about a pie.
17:37
>> I don't care who you talk to, just make it happen.
17:39
It'll be Angela.
17:40
Well, tell her it's for Creed.
17:42
She'll know what that means.
17:44
Happy birthday to you.
17:49
Happy birthday to you.
17:53
Happy birthday, dear Creed.
17:59
Happy birthday to you.
18:06
YEAH!
18:06
>> >> ALL RIGHT.
18:07
SKIP AROUND THE ROOM.
18:09
Skip around the room.
18:10
We won't Okay, all right.
18:12
Yeah, I don't do that.
18:13
You're going to break something.
18:14
Man became civilized for a reason.
18:17
He decided that he liked to have warmth
18:20
and clothing and television
18:23
and hamburgers and to walk upright
18:26
and to have a soft futon at the end of the day.
18:29
He didn't want to have to struggle to survive.
18:32
I don't need the woods.
18:33
I have a nice wood desk.
18:37
I don't need fresh air because I have the freshest air around.
18:44
AC.
18:44
And I don't need wide open spaces.
18:49
Check me out.
18:53
Can also make it this guy.
18:59
Hi, buddy.
19:00
Hey.
19:00
What up?
19:02
Sure glad you're back.
19:04
You are relieved.
19:06
You have no idea.
19:08
So, what did I miss?
19:10
Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once.
19:13
Oh.
19:13
So, terrible idea.
19:15
Yeah, okay.
19:16
I did that.
19:17
Rookie mistake.
19:19
You did do it?
19:19
Uh-huh, yeah.
19:21
Just wait. 10 years, he'll figure it out.
19:25
Well, I don't think I'll be here in 10 years,
19:27
but That's what I said.
19:35
That's what she said.
19:40
That's what who said?
19:41
I never know.
19:44
I just say it.
19:46
I say stuff like that, you know,
19:49
to lighten the tension when things sort of get hard.
19:52
That's what she said.
19:58
>> >> Hey.
19:58
Nice.
19:58
Really good.
20:03
Bravo.
20:03
My young ward.
20:07
Dwight, I will be leaving tomorrow.
20:09
Yes.
20:10
So, I wanted to give you that.
20:12
It's a letter of recommendation.
20:21
This is going to be good.
20:25
To whom it may concern.
20:26
Good.
20:27
Real personal.
20:27
Thanks, Michael.
20:28
The dictionary defines superlative as of the highest kind, quality, or order,
20:34
surpassing all else or others, supreme.
20:37
That's great.
20:37
If I wanted the dictionary definition, I'd buy a dictionary.
20:41
I define it as Dwight Schrute.
20:44
As a sales executive, as a leader, as a man, and as a friend,
20:51
he is of the highest kind, quality, and order, supreme.
21:02
Lots more like that.
21:03
Really repetitive.
21:09
This is 2:45 behind the building, paintball.
22:03
>> >> So, I've been meaning to tell you,
22:04
I want to take you out for lunch for your last day.
22:08
Oh.
22:08
What do you think?
22:08
Tomorrow?
22:09
Lunch?
22:09
You and me?
22:13
Okay.
22:13
Yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow.
22:16
You're leaving today, right?
22:21
Maybe.
22:21
Wow.
22:22
So, that's it, huh?
22:22
Just 4:00 and you are gone for good.
22:26
Why am I so sad?
22:29
Am I doing the wrong thing?
22:31
Absolutely not.
22:34
It's just that sometimes goodbyes are a T-shirt idea.
22:42
Goodbye stink.
22:46
Okay.
22:46
All right.
22:47
So, James Halpert.
22:57
You started with this company as a fine young man.
23:04
You know what I think we should do?
23:06
I think we should just save the goodbyes for tomorrow.
23:09
At lunch.
23:14
Oh.
23:14
Okay.
23:14
And then tomorrow, I can tell you >> >> what a great boss you
23:21
turned out to be.
23:26
>> >> Best boss I ever had.
23:31
>> >> Oh, shoot.
23:33
That's my cab.
23:34
All right.
23:35
All right.
23:37
Listen, Michael, I I really I did text Pam, but I know.
23:40
It's okay.
23:41
>> >> Just give her a hug.
23:43
All right?
23:45
I'll see you tomorrow at lunch.
23:47
I am looking forward to lunch.
23:50
And hearing about what a great boss I am.
23:54
You got it.
24:02
Okay.
24:02
Well, I guess this is it.
24:05
Hey, will you guys let me know if this ever airs?
24:08
Thank you.
24:10
All right.
24:11
Oh, this is going to feel so good getting this thing off my chest.
Thích
Chia sẻ
The Office
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