0:00 57 from Beijing, now arriving.
0:09 >> Oh my god.
0:10 Oh my god.
0:12 Oh excuse me.
0:13 Excuse me.
0:13 Move.
0:14 Move.
0:14 Move.
0:14 Emergency, please.
0:16 EXCUSE ME.
0:26 >> >> RACH.
0:26 >> THERE YOU ARE.
0:30 HI.
0:30 Oh so so How was China?
0:37 >> You.
0:37 >> It was It was great.
0:38 Oh, what happened?
0:40 >> What?
0:40 >> What you you're bleeding.
0:41 >> I am?
0:41 >> Oh my god.
0:42 >> Oh look at that.
0:42 Yes, I am.
0:43 Anyway, enough about me.
0:44 Enough about me, Mr.
0:45 Back from the Orient.
0:46 Come on, I want to hear everything.
0:49 Everything.
0:53 >> Well, uh where do I start?
0:54 Um well, this is Julie.
0:56 Uh Julie, this is Rachel.
1:02 >> Hi.
1:03 Uh Oh, uh these are These are aren't for you.
1:07 Uh these are for you.
1:10 Welcome to our country.
1:14 >> >> Thank you.
1:16 I'M FROM NEW YORK.
1:22 >> RACHEL.
1:22 AIRPORT.
1:23 AIRPORT.
1:24 ROSS.
1:25 STOP.
1:25 Not alone.
1:28 Julie.
1:28 Julie.
1:28 Arm around her.
1:34 Oh.
1:34 Grab.
1:34 Grab.
1:34 >> Okay, I think she's trying to tell us something.
1:36 >> >> Quick, get the verbs.
1:41 Ow.
1:41 >> You.
1:43 You.
1:47 >> >> You don't like me.
1:47 You.
1:47 You.
1:47 You slowpokes.
1:47 >> That's all right, Rach.
1:48 We got the bags.
1:50 Uh Hi.
1:51 Hello.
1:53 Julie, this is my sister, Monica.
1:56 This is Chandler.
1:57 >> Hey.
1:57 >> Hey.
1:57 >> Phoebe, hi.
1:58 Joey, what up?
2:01 >> up?
2:01 Everyone, this is Julie.
2:10 >> Julie.
2:10 >> OH.
2:10 >> >> HI.
2:11 >> HI.
2:11 >> HI, BUT I'M NOT HERE.
2:12 YOU HAVEN'T MET ME.
2:13 I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow
2:14 when I don't have 20 hours of cabin plane on me.
2:17 >> And bus.
2:18 >> Oh my god.
2:19 >> Oh, and the screaming guy.
2:20 >> And the spitting
2:21 and >> You you you you tell you got to hear this story.
2:23 >> We're on this bus that's easily 200 years old, right?
2:26 >> 200 at least.
2:27 >> And this guy >> And the chicken poops IN HER LAP.
2:36 >> OH, I'M SO SORRY.
2:38 >> >> I JUST GAVE away the ending, didn't I?
2:41 Oh, I It's just I just heard this story in the cab
2:43 and it is all I can think about.
2:49 This is amazing.
2:50 I mean, how how did this happen?
2:54 >> Well, Ross and I were in grad school together. >> we haven't seen
2:56 each other since then.
2:57 Well, I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig?
3:04 >> JULIE.
3:04 JULIE, ISN'T THAT GREAT?
3:06 I MEAN, ISN'T THAT JUST kick you in the crotch,
3:08 spit on your neck fantastic?
3:12 It's an expression.
3:16 >> >> We we we just wanted to say a quick hi.
3:18 Uh then we're going to go see the baby.
3:19 >> And then we've got to get some sleep.
3:21 >> Yeah, it's really 6:00 tomorrow night our time.
3:23 >> Okay, well listen, don't tell us what's going to happen
3:25 though cuz I like to be surprised.
3:31 >> Rachel, do you have any muffins left?
3:32 >> Uh yeah, I forget which ones.
3:34 >> Oh, you're busy.
3:35 That's okay, I'll get it.
3:36 >> Oh, anyone else want one?
3:37 >> No, thanks.
3:38 >> No, I'm all set.
3:39 >> Oh, you're losing your apron here.
3:40 Let me get it.
3:43 >> Oh.
3:43 >> Here you go.
3:43 >> Thank you.
3:46 >> >> What a Oh listen, you guys,
3:53 I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow
3:55 and he wants to abuse his discount.
3:57 So, anyone who wants to come with me and take advantage of it?
4:00 >> Oh, I can't.
4:01 I have to take my grandmother to live at.
4:07 >> Okay.
4:07 >> I'll go with you.
4:12 >> Great.
4:12 Okay.
4:12 >> Hi, honey.
4:13 Hey, sweetums.
4:15 And hello to the rest.
4:20 >> Hi.
4:20 >> Monica, what are you doing?
4:21 You can't go shopping with her.
4:23 What about Rachel?
4:24 >> This is going to be a problem, isn't it?
4:26 >> Oh, come on.
4:26 You're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie.
4:28 It's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
4:33 >> Monica, she will kill you.
4:36 She will kill you like a dog in the street.
4:44 >> So, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow.
4:47 >> Oh, yeah.
4:48 Um, it's actually not that big a deal.
4:50 In fact, >> It's a big deal to me.
4:52 This is great, Monica.
4:53 I really appreciate it.
4:55 >> You're welcome.
5:12 >> >> Hey.
5:12 Where is everybody?
5:13 >> They took Ben to the park.
5:15 >> Where have you been?
5:16 >> Just out.
5:17 Had some lunch.
5:19 Just me.
5:20 Little quality time with me.
5:23 >> Hey.
5:23 Thanks for your jacket.
5:24 >> Oh, it's no problem.
5:25 You can borrow it, by the way.
5:29 >> >> Oh, here are your keys, honey.
5:35 >> Thanks.
5:35 Mon.
5:35 >> Mhm.
5:35 >> If you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you $53?
5:42 You know what probably happened?
5:45 Someone must have stolen my credit card.
5:48 Uh And sort of just put the receipt back in your pocket.
5:52 >> >> That is an excellent excellent question.
5:55 That is excellent.
5:58 Monica, what's with you?
5:59 Who did you have lunch with?
6:07 Judy?
6:07 >> Who?
6:07 >> Julie?
6:11 >> What?
6:11 >> Jody?
6:11 You were with Julie?
6:11 >> Oh.
6:11 Look, when it started,
6:12 I was just trying to be nice to her
6:14 because she was my brother's girlfriend.
6:17 And then one thing led to another and before I knew it,
6:21 we were shopping.
6:30 Oh my god.
6:33 >> >> Wait, we only did it once.
6:37 IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME.
6:40 >> YEAH, RIGHT.
6:42 >> REALLY.
6:42 >> SURE.
6:42 >> RACHEL, I was thinking of YOU THE WHOLE TIME.
6:50 >> >> LOOK, I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT?
6:51 I I NEVER meant for YOU TO FIND OUT.
6:53 >> OH, PLEASE!
6:54 PLEASE!
6:55 YOU WANTED TO GET CAUGHT.
6:57 >> THAT IS NOT TRUE.
6:58 >> SO, YOU JUST SORT OF HAPPENED TO LEAVE IT IN HERE?
7:02 >> Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
7:07 >> OKAY, MONICA, I JUST HAVE TO KNOW one thing.
7:13 Did you go with HER TO BLOOMINGDALE'S?
7:23 >> >> YOU NAME ONE WOMAN THAT YOU broke up with for an actual real reason.
7:28 >> Maureen Rosillo.
7:30 >> Cuz she doesn't hate Yanni is not a real reason.
7:38 >> Hello, Mr.
7:38 Heckles.
7:41 >> You're doing it again.
7:42 >> We're not doing anything.
7:43 >> You're stomping.
7:45 It's disturbing my birds.
7:48 >> >> You don't have birds.
7:51 >> I could have birds.
7:54 >> >> Okay, Mr.
7:55 Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
7:56 >> Thank you.
7:58 I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
8:01 >> >> All right, bye-bye.
8:02 >> Okay, Janice.
8:06 Janice, you got to give me Janice.
8:07 That wasn't about being picky.
8:09 >> Yeah, I know.
8:09 >> I miss Janice.
8:10 >> I miss Janice, though.
8:13 >> Hello, Chandler Bing.
8:17 Oh my god.
8:21 >> Oh, Chandler.
8:23 Now.
8:27 That's it.
8:29 Dance, faster.
8:38 >> >> Ugh, stop with the broom.
8:40 We're not making noise.
8:52 We won.
8:54 We did it.
8:59 >> Mr.
8:59 Heckles.
9:04 How did this happen?
9:05 >> Well, he must have been sweeping.
9:07 They found a broom in his hand.
9:12 >> >> That's terrible.
9:13 >> I know.
9:15 I was sweeping yesterday.
9:17 Could have been me.
9:22 >> Sweeping.
9:22 >> You never know.
9:22 >> Never know.
9:27 >> >> Okay, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building.
9:33 Go into the light, MR.
9:34 HECKLES.
9:39 >> OKAY, PHOEBE.
9:41 >> MHM.
9:41 I'M SORRY, but sometimes they need help.
9:44 Why not told you?
9:46 Oh, I don't know.
9:47 Um how about the fact
9:49 that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from
9:52 when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace?
9:56 WAIT A MINUTE.
9:57 WHO TOLD YOU?
10:02 You are dead meat.
10:05 >> I didn't know it was a big secret.
10:07 >> No, it's not big at all.
10:10 You know, kind of the same lines as say, oh, I don't know,
10:12 having a third nipple.
10:16 You have a third nipple?
10:25 >> >> You >> >> WHIP IT OUT.
10:26 WHIP IT OUT.
10:27 >> COME ON.
10:28 There's nothing to see.
10:29 It's just a tiny bump.
10:30 It's totally useless.
10:31 >> Oh, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples.
10:36 >> >> I can't believe you.
10:38 You told me it was a nubbin.
10:45 >> >> Monica.
10:45 >> Are we ready to order?
10:47 >> Oh, you know what?
10:47 We haven't even looked yet.
10:49 >> Well, when you do, just let me know.
10:50 I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
10:59 >> >> Wow, look at these prices.
11:00 >> Yeah, these are pretty ching-ching.
11:02 >> I don't know.
11:05 What are these?
11:05 Like famous chickens?
11:07 Do I dare ask?
11:08 >> Yes, I'll start with the carpaccio and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
11:12 >> That sounds great.
11:12 Same for me.
11:14 >> And for the gentleman?
11:15 >> Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza.
11:17 But hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff,
11:20 is it cheaper?
11:23 >> >> You'd think, wouldn't you?
11:26 Miss?
11:26 >> Okay, I will have the uh side salad.
11:31 >> And what would that be on the side of?
11:34 >> I don't know.
11:35 Why don't you just put it right here next to my water?
11:41 >> >> And for you?
11:42 >> Um I'm going to have a cup of the cucumber soup.
11:51 And um Take care.
11:55 >> >> I will have the uh Cajun catfish.
11:57 >> Anything else?
11:58 >> Yes, how about a verse of Killing Me Softly?
12:01 >> >> Everyone owes 28 bucks.
12:03 >> Oh, yeah.
12:04 >> What um everyone?
12:08 >> Oh.
12:08 You're right.
12:08 I'm sorry.
12:09 >> Thank you.
12:10 >> Monica's big night.
12:11 She shouldn't pay.
12:13 >> Oh, thank you.
12:14 >> >> So five of us is 33.50 a piece.
12:19 >> No, uh-uh.
12:20 No way.
12:20 Sorry, not going to happen.
12:22 >> Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.
12:27 >> Sorry, Monica.
12:28 I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for 30-something bucks?
12:36 Huh.
12:36 No.
12:36 Rachel just had that
12:36 that that little salad
12:38 and and Joey with HIS LIKE TEENY PIZZA.
12:41 It's just >> Okay, Pheebs.
12:43 Shh, how about we'll each we'll each just pay for what we had, okay?
12:48 It's no big deal.
12:49 >> Not for you.
12:54 All right, what's going on?
12:57 Okay, look you guys, I really don't want to get into this right now.
12:59 I think it'll just make everybody uncomfortable.
13:01 >> We'll be fine.
13:02 All right, all right, we'll be fine.
13:03 >> Well, yeah, you can tell us.
13:05 >> Yeah, hello, it's us, all right?
13:07 We'll be fine.
13:13 >> Yeah.
13:13 >> >> Okay, um uh we three feel like
13:17 that uh >> >> sometimes you you guys don't get
13:21 that uh >> We don't have
13:30 as much money as you.
13:38 >> >> Okay.
13:38 >> I hear you.
13:39 We can talk about that.
13:42 >> >> Well then, let's >> Well,
13:49 um I I guess I just never think of money as an issue.
13:54 >> That's cuz you have it.
13:55 >> That's a good point.
13:58 So, um how come you guys haven't talked about this before?
14:02 >> Cuz it's always something, you know?
14:04 Like with Monica's new job or the whole Ross's birthday hoopla.
14:10 >> What?
14:10 >> >> Whoa, hey.
14:11 I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative
14:15 There's going to be a hoopla?
14:20 >> Basically, there's the thing
14:22 and then there's the stuff after the thing
14:24 and it's If it makes anybody feel better,
14:27 then we can just forget the thing and and we'll just do the gift.
14:31 >> Gift?
14:31 Gift?
14:32 The The thing's not the gift?
14:34 >> >> No, the thing was we were going to go see Hootie and the Blowfish.
14:37 >> Hootie and I I I can catch them on the radio.
14:43 >> Did we speak on the phone last night?
14:44 Did you call me?
14:45 >> No, I stayed at Julie's last night.
14:50 >> Huh.
14:50 >> Oh, actually, I haven't even been home yet.
14:52 Do you mind if I check my messages?
14:54 >> Oh, yeah, go ahead.
14:59 >> >> Rach, I got a message FROM YOU.
15:06 >> >> WHO'S MICHAEL?
15:08 >> OH MY GOD.
15:09 OH MY GOD, ROSS, NO, hang up the phone.
15:11 Give me the phone.
15:11 Ross, give me the phone.
15:12 GIVE ME THE PHONE.
15:22 >> >> YOU'RE OVER ME?
15:24 >> OH GOD.
15:26 >> WHAT?
15:26 You're uh >> Oh god.
15:28 >> You're You're over me?
15:30 >> Oh god.
15:30 Oh god.
15:32 Oh my god.
15:36 Oh god.
15:36 >> When?
15:36 When were you under me?
15:46 Rach Rachel, do you I mean, were you uh >> Uh okay.
15:51 Okay.
15:56 Okay.
15:56 Well, basically, lately, I've uh I've uh sort of had feelings for you.
16:08 >> >> You've had feelings for me?
16:10 >> Yeah, what so?
16:11 You had feelings for me first.
16:12 >> Whoa.
16:13 Huh.
16:16 You know about my I mean, you know I had you You know?
16:22 >> >> Chandler told me.
16:23 >> Chandler, when did he When did he When did he?
16:29 >> >> When you were in China.
16:31 >> China?
16:31 >> Meeting Julie.
16:33 >> Julie?
16:37 Julie.
16:38 That's Oh god.
16:38 Julie.
16:38 Julie.
16:38 Right.
16:38 Okay, I need to lie down.
16:41 No, you know, I'm going to stand.
16:42 I'm going to stand.
16:44 I'm going to walk.
16:45 I'm walking and I am standing.
16:47 Okay, so you were
16:49 And now you were
16:50 And now Now Now you're over me?
16:56 >> Now are you over me?
17:07 >> >> That's That's Julie.
17:09 That's Julie.
17:10 Julie.
17:11 Hi, Julie.
17:12 >> Hi, honey.
17:13 I've got a cab waiting.
17:14 >> I'll be right down.
17:17 You have no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
17:21 >> What?
17:21 >> I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
17:24 >> Hey, I was doing great before I found out about you.
17:26 You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
17:28 >> Well, then you should have said something before I met her.
17:31 >> I didn't know then.
17:32 And how come you never said anything to me?
17:34 >> There was never a good time.
17:36 >> Right.
17:36 You You only had a year and we only hung out every night.
17:39 >> Not Not Not every night.
17:44 You know, and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel,
17:46 but the whole thing's gotten the way, you know,
17:48 like like Italian guys or ex-fiancées or or or Italian guys.
17:58 >> >> Hey, there was one Italian guy, okay?
18:00 And do you even have a point?
18:01 >> is I I don't need this right now, okay?
18:05 It's It's too late.
18:06 I'm with somebody else.
18:07 I'm happy.
18:08 This ship has sailed.
18:09 >> Okay, so what are you saying?
18:10 You're going to sort of put away feelings
18:11 or whatever the hell it was
18:12 that you felt for me?
18:13 >> Hey, I've been doing it since the ninth grade.
18:14 I've gotten pretty damn good at it. >> fine.
18:16 You go ahead and you do that, ALL RIGHT, ROSS?
18:18 THEN I DON'T NEED YOUR STUPID GOOD.
18:22 AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
18:23 NOW I GOT CLOSURE.
19:18 >> TRY THE BOTTOM ONE.
19:37 >> ALL RIGHT, LET'S LET'S start with the cons cuz they're more fun.
19:40 Rachel first.
19:42 >> I don't know.
19:44 I mean All right,
19:46 I guess you can say she's she's a little spoiled sometimes.
19:50 >> You could say that.
19:54 >> Yeah.
19:54 And guess you know, sometimes she's she's a little you know.
19:58 And I've seen her be a little too into her looks.
20:02 And oh, and like Julie and I,
20:03 we have a lot in common cuz we're both paleontologists, right?
20:06 But I mean Rachel's just a waitress.
20:11 >> Waitress.
20:11 Got it.
20:12 You guys want to play Doom?
20:16 >> >> Or we can keep doing this.
20:20 What else?
20:22 >> I don't know.
20:26 Uh Oh.
20:26 >> Her ankles are a little chubby.
20:29 >> Okay, let's do Julie.
20:31 What's wrong with her?
20:36 >> She's not Rachel.
20:40 >> Well, uh >> He broke up with Julie.
20:44 Well, go hug her for God's sakes.
20:52 >> Really?
20:52 >> Really.
20:52 It's always been you, Rach.
20:54 >> Oh my god.
21:07 >> >> OH.
21:08 >> OH.
21:08 OH, THIS IS GOOD.
21:09 This is really good.
21:10 >> I know.
21:11 I know.
21:11 It's It's almost What do you say we go take a walk?
21:21 Just us, not them.
21:23 >> >> I'm going to get my coat.
21:24 >> Okay.
21:25 No, hey.
21:25 Whoa.
21:26 I'll get your coat.
21:35 >> Okay.
21:35 I'm going to get my coat.
21:37 He's going TO GET MY COAT.
21:40 >> THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
21:43 >> What's that?
21:44 >> What?
21:44 Nothing.
21:47 >> What?
21:47 There's something I saw my name.
21:48 What is it?
21:49 >> No, no.
21:49 See?
21:50 See?
21:51 Hey, it's printing.
21:54 Hey, it's printing.
21:57 >> Well, what is it?
21:57 Let me see.
21:58 >> Hey, someone order a coat?
22:00 >> Plus, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer
22:02 and he won't let me see.
22:03 >> He won't?
22:04 He won't?
22:07 Because isn't it isn't it the the the the short story you were writing?
22:12 >> Yes, yes it is the short story that I was writing.
22:16 >> In a minute?
22:17 Let me READ IT.
22:22 >> NO.
22:22 >> COME ON.
22:22 >> HEY, UH WHY DON'T YOU READ it to her?
22:35 >> >> All right.
22:47 It was summer and it was hot.
22:53 Rachel was there along the gray couch.
23:02 "Oh look," cried Ned.
23:05 >> >> And then the kingdom was his forever.
23:07 THE END.
23:11 >> THAT'S IT?
23:12 THAT'S ALL YOU WROTE?
23:13 YOU'RE the worst writer IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
23:16 >> ALL RIGHT.
23:16 ALL RIGHT.
23:17 YOU KNOW WHAT?
23:17 This isn't funny anymore.
23:18 There's something about me on
23:19 that piece of paper
23:20 and I want to see it.
23:22 >> No, you don't.
23:26 >> All right.
23:26 You know what?
23:27 Fine.
23:27 If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine.
23:30 I do not NEED TO SEE WHAT IS THIS?
23:39 >> THAT IS NO, NO, NO, NO.
23:43 >> ROSS, WHAT IS THIS?
23:43 >> THANK YOU.
23:44 Good luck.
23:48 Okay.
23:49 Just just remember how crazy I am about you, okay?
23:52 >> Kind of ditzy?
23:54 Too into her looks?
23:58 Spoiled?
23:58 >> Now, that's a little spoil.
23:59 He was supposed to type little, the idiot.
24:03 >> Just a waitress?
24:06 >> Now, that that was uh I mean, as opposed to uh the um Okay,
24:13 is is this over yet, Rach?
24:15 >> I do not have chubby ankles.
24:19 >> Oh gosh, it's hot in here.
24:21 Rach, get the heat.
24:22 Ross, can you turn the heat down, please?
24:25 >> Sure.
24:25 And by the way, there's a difference between being obsessive >> Ross, the heat.
24:28 >> Fine, okay.
24:29 You know >> Heat heat heat.
24:30 And I'm the obsessive one, huh?
24:33 >> Okay.
24:35 This way is on, so this is off.
24:44 >> >> Did you just break the radiator?
24:46 >> No.
24:47 No.
24:47 I was turning the knob and and here it is.
24:52 >> Well, put it back.
24:56 >> It uh it won't go back.
24:59 >> Call the super.
25:00 Here, let me try.
25:02 >> Oh, oh that's right.
25:03 I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
25:06 >> Hey, it's funny's cousin, not funny.
25:10 Hi, Mr.
25:11 Treeger.
25:11 Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs.
25:13 Yes, somebody uh broke our knob on the radiator
25:17 and it's really hot in here.
25:20 Yes, it's it's hot enough to bake cookies.
25:25 >> >> Well, well do you think we could have a new one by six?
25:29 What?
25:29 No.
25:29 No, Tuesday.
25:30 We can't wait until Tuesday.
25:32 We're having a party tonight.
25:33 >> Okay, tip the man.
25:35 >> No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad.
25:37 I'm not going to be blackmailed.
25:39 Look, if worst comes to worst, it gets a little warm,
25:41 we'll call it a theme party.
25:43 >> Hey, here's a theme.
25:44 Come on in, live like bacon.
25:48 Mr.
25:48 Treeger?
25:50 Huh.
25:50 Here is 50 bucks.
25:52 Merry Christmas.
25:53 >> Oh, wow.
25:55 I didn't get you anything.
25:57 Here's five back.
26:00 >> >> No, no.
26:00 No, that's that's your Christmas tip.
26:02 All right?
26:03 Oh, hey.
26:05 Do you think there's a chance that you can fix that radiator now?
26:07 >> Uh no can do.
26:09 Like I told the girl, I can't get the new knob until Tuesday.
26:14 >> Ross?
26:14 >> Yeah?
26:14 >> Looks like he's playing baseball.
26:16 >> Do you mean hardball?
26:23 >> Whatever.
26:23 What you going to do?
26:24 >> Excuse me, I'm seizing.
26:27 >> Mr.
26:27 Treeger?
26:29 >> >> Here's another 50.
26:31 Happy Hanukkah.
26:33 Will will this help with the knob getting?
26:38 >> No.
26:38 The place is not open till Tuesday.
26:41 Am I not saying it right?
26:45 >> So, wait.
26:46 You really did like my cookies?
26:47 >> Oh, yeah.
26:49 They were so personal.
26:50 Really showed you cared.
26:55 Ho ho holy crap is it hot in here?
27:00 Really?
27:01 >> Hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
27:03 >> Hey, we could have used that kind of thinking earlier.
27:06 >> >> It seems I let go.
27:09 >> Oh, >> >> I couldn't go in.
27:11 >> Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
27:12 >> Are you okay?
27:13 >> Yeah, yeah, no, it's okay cuz I mean I know he's there.
27:16 So, that's enough for now.
27:18 >> Hey guys, it's after midnight.
27:20 Merry Christmas everyone.
27:21 >> All right, Merry Christmas.
27:27 >> Hey Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath.
27:30 I hope that's all right.
27:34 >> Trouble here.
27:35 I've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left.
27:37 Move move move.
27:39 >> Monica, I feel like you should have GERMAN SUBTITLES.
27:45 >> >> JOEY, SPEED it up.
27:46 >> I'm sorry, it's the pigs.
27:48 They're reluctant to get IN THE BLANKETS.
27:51 >> MONICA, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
27:53 I thought you had this all planned out.
27:55 Do you want me to cry?
27:58 >> >> Is that what you want?
28:00 Do you want TO SEE ME CRY?
28:03 >> SIR, NO SIR.
28:07 >> ALL RIGHT, YOU.
28:09 >> WHAT?
28:09 NO, LOOK, I told you I am not a part of this thing.
28:13 >> All right, look Ross,
28:14 I realize that you have issues with Carol
28:15 and Susan and I feel for you,
28:16 I do.
28:17 But if you don't help me cook,
28:18 I'm going to take a bunch of those little hot dogs
28:20 and create a new appetizer called pigs in Ross.
28:25 ALL RIGHT, BALL A MELON.
28:26 >> HEY, HOW COME I'M stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon?
28:30 >> All right, Monica,
28:30 if there is something
28:31 that you would like to share. >> you had no right to go out
28:33 with him.
28:34 >> That is the most RIDICULOUS >> ME OUT.
28:37 >> NOT SELL YOU OUT.
28:39 >> Absolutely sold me out.
28:44 >> Did you just flick me?
28:48 Okay, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was Ow, THAT HURT.
28:54 >> >> QUIT FLICKING.
28:56 OW, YOU QUIT FLICKING.
28:58 You flicked me first.
28:59 OW, GET IT.
29:03 OW.
29:03 >> >> FLICK.
29:03 OW.
29:04 OW, OW.
29:05 YOU KNOW, LET'S NOT DO THIS.
29:06 LET'S OW, OW, OW.
29:10 OW.
29:10 LET'S ALL BE FRIENDS.
29:11 OW.
29:11 LET'S ALL OW.
29:16 OW.
29:21 OW.
29:21 OW.
29:21 OW.
29:21 OW.
29:21 OW.
29:21 OW.
29:21 OW.
29:21 OW.
29:21 OKAY, NOW I'M GOING TO KICK SOME ASS.
29:27 OW.
29:27 OW.
29:27 OW.
29:28 OW.
29:28 OW.
29:29 OW.
29:29 OW.
29:31 OW.
29:32 OW.
29:32 OW.
29:32 OW.
29:32 OW.
29:32 ALL RIGHT.
29:32 NOW, I WILL let go if you both stop.
29:36 Oh, what do you You want me to stop seeing him?
29:38 Is that what you want?
29:39 Uh-huh.
29:40 You want me to just call him up
29:41 and tell him that you're seeing him instead?
29:43 Is that WHAT YOU WANT?
29:45 OKAY.
29:48 OH, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
29:50 YES.
29:52 FINE.
29:53 FINE.
29:55 There we go.
29:57 Huh, you know what?
29:58 If we were in prison, you guys would feel LIKE MY >> >> WOW,
30:12 I I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
30:15 And what do you say?
30:17 I don't know.
30:20 It's a bracelet, isn't it?
30:22 And it's a grave, too.
30:23 Check it out.
30:25 To my best bud.
30:32 >> >> Thanks, best bud.
30:34 Put it on.
30:35 Oh, now?
30:39 No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion.
30:42 >> Oh, no, no, that's the beauty part.
30:43 It goes with everything.
30:45 You >> >> put this on, you're good to go.
30:53 >> Oh, man.
30:55 You are so wearing that bracelet.
30:58 >> >> I so am.
31:00 >> This is This is us getting ready for the prom.
31:03 >> You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
31:08 >> Did you get a shot of Monica?
31:09 >> Where's Monica?
31:10 >> Over here, Dad.
31:13 >> Wait, how do you zoom out?
31:16 There she is.
31:22 >> >> Some girl ate Monica.
31:26 >> >> Shut up.
31:27 The camera adds 10 lb.
31:29 >> Uh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
31:36 >> >> Oh, you look so great.
31:37 >> And you, BEAUTIFUL.
31:40 >> OH, WOW.
31:41 >> OH, WHAT?
31:42 SHOOT, I think I got mayonnaise on you.
31:44 >> Oh, that's okay.
31:45 It's just the shoulder.
31:45 It's not my dress.
31:49 >> Everybody smile.
31:51 >> Oh, DAD, TURN IT OFF.
31:53 >> IT IS OFF.
31:54 >> DAD, IT IS NOT.
31:55 WHAT'S WITH THE RED LIGHT?
31:58 >> IT'S THE OFF LIGHT.
31:58 >> OH, YEAH.
31:59 >> RIGHT, BOSS?
32:08 >> >> Looking good, Mr.
32:09 Cottrell.
32:14 >> >> You look very pretty tonight.
32:16 >> Oh, thanks.
32:20 So, uh, what are you going to do this summer?
32:22 >> Oh, you know, I'm just going to I'm going to hang out,
32:24 work on my music.
32:29 >> Can you unhook unhook?
32:30 These things keep falling down.
32:32 I can't keep them up.
32:39 >> >> Uh, hold let me see.
32:40 I don't know.
32:42 >> So, what are you going to do?
32:43 >> NO, THE GUYS >> >> ARE HERE.
32:46 >> THIS SUMMER.
32:47 >> WORK ON YOUR MUSIC.
32:54 >> >> OH MY GOD, LOOK THERE'S ROY GUBLIK.
32:57 >> YOU KNOW, ROY saw Star Wars 317 times.
33:01 >> His name was in the paper.
33:04 >> Where's Chip?
33:05 Why isn't he here yet?
33:07 >> He'll be here, okay?
33:08 Take a chill pill.
33:17 There.
33:17 >> I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
33:23 >> I can't go to my own prom without a date.
33:25 I can't.
33:25 It's too late.
33:27 >> Well, if you don't If you're not going, then I don't want to go,
33:29 either.
33:31 >> Oh, I'm going to KICK CHIP'S ASS.
33:35 >> >> I HAVE A wonderful idea.
33:37 You should take Rachel to the prom.
33:42 >> What?
33:42 >> Doubtful.
33:42 >> Jack, give me that.
33:44 Talk to your son.
33:49 >> Your mother's right.
33:51 Take her.
33:51 You could wear my tux.
33:53 >> Dad, she wouldn't want to go with me.
33:54 >> Of course she would.
33:55 You're a college man.
33:58 >> I don't know.
33:59 >> Come on.
34:00 Don't you want to find out?
34:03 >> Oh I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom.
34:06 Isn't it so harsh?
34:12 >> Okay.
34:12 Hold my board.
34:13 >> Attaboy.
34:14 Attaboy.
34:15 >> Okay, you guys, you know, I think we've seen enough.
34:17 Let's turn it off. >> no.
34:19 >> Okay, fine.
34:19 Well, I'm not going to watch, all right?
34:22 >> Come on, kid.
34:23 Let's go.
34:27 >> I I am so >> Let's show them.
34:30 >> Uh just a sec, Dad.
34:33 Just be cool.
34:34 Just be cool.
34:45 Okay, Dad.
34:46 >> Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining.
34:50 >> Oh, no.
34:51 >> BYE, GILBERT.
34:54 >> OKAY, CHAMP.
34:58 >> OH, DEAR.
35:00 JACK, how do I turn this off?
35:01 >> Press the button.
35:02 >> Which one?
35:03 Which button, Jack?
35:05 >> The button, the button.
35:11 >> I can't believe you did that.
35:16 >> Yeah, well.
35:46 >> >> See?
35:47 HE'S HER LOBSTER.
35:49 >> ALL RIGHT, NO PEEKING.
35:50 >> All right.
35:51 >> No peeking.
35:52 No peeking.
35:53 No peeking.
35:54 >> All right, all right.
35:55 But, you better be wearing clothes when I OPEN MY EYES.
36:00 >> >> ALL RIGHT.
36:01 OPEN your eyes.
36:07 >> >> Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
36:11 >> Huh?
36:11 >> Days of Our Lives picked up my option.
36:16 >> Congratulations.
36:16 >> Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to
36:19 be seen.
36:21 >> >> So, uh which one is mine?
36:24 >> Whichever one you want, man.
36:26 Whichever one you want.
36:29 >> >> Not that one.
36:35 Oh, yes.
36:38 Oh, yeah.
36:39 That's the stuff.
36:43 >> >> Do we dare?
36:45 We dare.
36:51 >> Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour.
36:53 I can't believe it.
36:53 It's like I'm living with him again.
36:55 He's here when I go to sleep.
36:56 HE'S HERE WHEN I WAKE UP.
36:57 HE'S HERE when I want to use the shower.
36:59 It's like I'm 16 all over again.
37:01 >> Well, you're not 16.
37:03 You're both ADULTS NOW.
37:05 >> GET OUT, YOU DOOFUSES!
37:09 >> OR, YOU KNOW, HE'S RUBBER and you're glue.
37:15 >> >> All yours.
37:18 >> I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
37:20 >> I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
37:23 >> Shut up!
37:24 >> Shut up!
37:26 >> Cut it out!
37:27 >> ME, ME, ME!
37:33 >> >> I'VE NEVER wanted you more.
37:39 >> >> I want to watch Entertainment Tonight.
37:41 >> Tough noogies.
37:42 We're watching Predators of the Serengeti.
37:45 >> You guys stop!
37:46 >> It's my TV.
37:49 >> What?
37:49 Quit it.
37:50 >> Bite me.
37:50 >> Oh my god.
37:51 >> Well, Monica keeps changing the channel.
37:54 >> Aw, that's great.
37:55 >> Why don't you tell Mommy on me?
37:57 >> Now I'm Mommy in this little play?
38:00 All right, look.
38:01 I refuse to get sucked into this like weird little Geller dimension thing, okay?
38:06 So, I'm going to go
38:07 and take a nice long hot bubble bath
38:09 because you kids are driving me crazy!
38:15 >> Get out of here, YOU STUPID KIDS!
38:25 >> >> OH, YOU'RE SMOKING.
38:28 >> OH, look at me.
38:54 >> >> Oh my god.
38:56 >> I know.
38:57 >> I sound amazing.
39:15 >> >> I've I've I've never heard myself sing before.
39:18 I mean, except in my own head.
39:21 This is so cool.
39:22 Now I can hear what you hear.
39:25 Pretty uh pretty different, huh?
39:28 I am sorry, but I'm incredibly talented.
39:38 Hey, is this true that you write a lot of your own lines?
39:42 >> Uh well, kind of, yeah.
39:45 Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident?
39:48 Well, the line in the script was,
39:50 "If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die."
39:54 But I made it, "If this woman doesn't get to a hospital,
39:57 she's not going to live."
40:01 >> >> Oh, okay.
40:02 I see what you did there.
40:07 Aren't you afraid though
40:08 that the writers are going to be kind of mad
40:09 when they read this?
40:12 >> Huh.
40:12 Never really thought about the writers.
40:14 The scripts just kind of come to my house.
40:20 But you know what?
40:21 This makes me look good, which makes the show look good,
40:25 which makes the writers look good.
40:26 So, how could they be mad about that?
40:30 Mix up most of his lines.
40:33 Son of a >> >> Yeah, well, write this jerkweed.
40:39 I fall down an elevator shaft?
40:41 What the hell does this mean?
40:42 I fall down an elevator shaft?
40:44 Uh I don't know.
40:45 I just bring the scripts.
40:49 >> >> They can't kill me.
40:50 I'm Francesca's long-lost son.
40:53 Right.
40:57 Amber, I want you to know
40:58 that I'll always be there for you
41:00 as a friend and
41:01 as your brother.
41:03 >> Oh, Drake.
41:05 >> Rough day, huh?
41:07 Where's the medical award?
41:09 >> This?
41:09 >> Yeah.
41:10 Some guys are just lucky, I guess.
41:13 >> >> Dr.
41:14 Remoray, report to the first floor emergency stat.
41:17 >> Oh, no.
41:18 Well, then uh Yeah, I guess that's me.
41:25 Anyone else need to go on the elevator?
41:26 >> Dr.
41:27 Wall?
41:28 Dr.
41:28 Wall?
41:29 >> No, no.
41:30 They only said you.
41:34 Oh, okay.
41:36 All right.
41:37 >> I love you, Drake.
41:38 >> Yeah, whatever.
41:41 >> >> Oh, NO.
41:42 >> DRAKE, look out!
41:44 >> Oh, no.
41:48 >> >> Did they just kill off Joey?
41:53 >> No.
41:53 >> No, maybe.
41:55 >> Oh, hi.
41:57 Hi.
41:57 Richard just told me he loved me.
41:59 >> Oh my god.
42:00 >> I know.
42:00 Honey, that's great.
42:02 >> I know.
42:03 I just can't find >> They're in the top drawer.
42:06 >> Hurry.
42:06 >> You need one, too?
42:07 >> Oh, yeah.
42:10 >> I found them.
42:16 >> There's only one.
42:21 >> Monica.
42:21 >> Hi.
42:21 Uh we'll be right there.
42:21 We just um we're trying to decide something.
42:43 >> Rachel.
42:43 >> >> Hey.
42:43 >> Hey.
42:43 They're just trying to decide something.
42:44 >> Oh good.
42:45 Good.
42:45 Good.
42:52 >> >> So is um when did your mustache did did it used to be different?
43:04 >> No.
43:04 >> Oh.
43:04 How do you uh you know keep it so neat?
43:09 >> >> I have a little comb.
43:14 >> Oh.
43:14 And what do you call that?
43:15 >> A mustache comb.
43:19 >> Okay.
43:20 I I will do your laundry for 1 month.
43:23 No.
43:24 OKAY.
43:25 OKAY.
43:25 OKAY.
43:26 I WILL I WILL I WILL I Hey I will clean the apartment for
43:29 2 months.
43:30 >> All right.
43:31 I'll tell you what.
43:31 I'll give this to you now
43:33 if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
43:44 >> So were you in 'Nam?
43:51 >> >> Rock, paper, scissors?
43:53 1 2 3 YES!
43:59 FINE.
43:59 GO HAVE SEX.
44:03 >> NO!
44:04 YOU HAVE GOT YOU GOT WRONG.
44:06 Jon Savage was Deer Hunter, no legs.
44:09 Jon Voight was Coming Home, couldn't feel his legs.
44:11 >> No, no, no way.
44:13 You've got it totally the other way around, my friend.
44:15 Jon Voight was What?
44:27 >> >> Shall we?
44:27 >> It's not going to happen.
44:29 They're doing it tonight.
44:31 We can do it tomorrow.
44:33 >> Hey Monica, we got a question.
44:35 >> All right, for the zillionth time, yes,
44:36 I see other women in the shower at the gym, and no,
44:39 I don't look.
44:40 >> No, not that one.
44:42 We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight.
44:44 We have an extra ticket.
44:45 >> Yeah, Ross can't go, so it's between my friend Eric Prower,
44:47 who has breath issues, >> >> Dan with the poking.
44:52 Did you see that play?
44:54 Do you want some more beer?
44:55 Is that Spike Lee?
45:00 >> Why don't you ask Richard?
45:02 >> Okay.
45:03 Uh hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game,
45:09 >> >> and you had to choose between a friend who smelled
45:12 and one who bruises you,
45:15 >> >> who would you pick?
45:17 >> Wow.
45:17 Well, being a huge Knicks fan myself,
45:19 I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
45:25 >> >> Okay.
45:25 That's Eric.
45:28 >> Glad to be of help.
45:29 Thanks.
45:32 >> >> I meant why don't you take Richard to the game?
45:35 >> Wait, and then?
45:38 >> What?
45:38 >> >> I don't know.
45:40 >> Come on.
45:41 He keeps his fingers to himself, and he's always minty fresh.
45:45 >> I know, no, Richard's really nice and everything.
45:47 It's just that we don't know him really well, you know?
45:49 And plus, he's, you know, old.
45:53 >> >> Older than some people.
45:56 But, younger than some buildings.
45:59 >> I've had enough of this, all right?
46:03 Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seats.
46:07 >> Fellas, these guys were here first.
46:09 >> Oh, sorry.
46:10 Didn't realize.
46:12 >> >> There you go.
46:13 >> Thank you, Gunther.
46:18 >> >> We didn't want to have to go and do that.
46:21 >> He told on us?
46:24 You told on us?
46:25 >> Well, pal, you didn't give me much of a choice.
46:30 >> >> Don't play with this thing.
46:35 >> All right.
46:37 >> Let's take this outside.
46:41 >> >> Let's Let's take this outside.
46:46 >> Who talks like that?
46:49 >> A guy who's about to kick your ass talks like that.
46:53 >> You had to ask.
46:59 >> Yeah.
46:59 Okay, okay.
47:00 Look, see, the thing is, we're We're not going to fight you guys.
47:07 >> Well, then here's the deal.
47:08 You won't have to, so long as you never,
47:10 ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
47:15 >> Come on out, honey.
47:16 I'm telling you you look good.
47:18 Tell her she looks good.
47:19 Tell her she looks good.
47:27 >> OH MY GOD!
47:31 >> >> YOU LOOK SO GOOD.
47:34 I CANNOT BELIEVE I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200
47:37 people looking like something you drink
47:40 when you're nauseous.
47:43 >> So, don't.
47:43 I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway.
47:46 It's your your ex-fiancé's wedding.
47:48 >> Because I promised Mindy I would.
47:50 >> Yeah, well, you promised Barry you'd marry him.
47:55 >> Look, Look, guys, I have to go.
47:56 I'm the maid of honor.
47:58 And besides, you know what?
47:59 I just need to be in a room again with these people
48:02 and feel good about myself.
48:09 >> >> Are you all right?
48:11 >> Yeah.
48:12 When I was in the bathroom,
48:13 I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding and God,
48:16 I just started thinking I shouldn't be here, you know, I shouldn't.
48:19 People are going to be looking at me
48:20 and judging me and
48:22 and thinking about the last time >> Sweetie,
48:24 it's going to be okay, all right?
48:25 It's a wedding.
48:26 Generally, people focus on the bride.
48:29 >> Oh God, I know you're right.
48:30 All righty, everybody look at me.
48:32 Good.
48:32 All right, it's time.
48:34 Bridesmaids and ushers, let's see two lines.
48:36 Thank you.
48:39 Okay, I'll see you after the thing.
48:41 >> Okay, good luck.
48:42 >> Thank you.
48:43 Okay.
48:53 Okay.
48:53 Why the hell didn't you tell me?
48:55 >> I'm sorry.
48:56 What was I supposed to do?
48:56 Stand up and shout, "Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing."
49:00 >> Oh my god, this is so humiliating.
49:02 I think the only thing
49:03 that tops that one was was was
49:05 when I was in eighth grade
49:06 and I had to sing the Copacabana in front of the entire school.
49:09 I think I got two lines into it before I ran and freaked out.
49:12 Oh my god, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
49:14 >> Rach, hey, look, I remember that.
49:16 It wasn't so bad.
49:17 >> Oh, Ross, would you just stop?
49:19 You got me.
49:19 I'm dating you.
49:23 >> Rachel.
49:23 >> Oh.
49:23 Hi, Mr.
49:24 Weinberg.
49:24 >> Hi, Mrs.
49:25 Weinberg.
49:25 >> It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear.
49:28 In fact, I hardly expected to see so much.
49:33 >> You told me you didn't see anything.
49:35 >> I tell you a lot of things.
49:36 >>
