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Challenge yourself to step out of the norm | Khanh Vy Tran | TEDxVinschoolHanoi
Challenge yourself to step out of the norm | Khanh Vy Tran | TEDxVinschoolHanoi
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16:46 · Apr 28, 2021
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good
morning
hello
thank
you
for
having
me
Translating…
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1
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0:03
good morning hello thank you for having me
0:09
so let's get started with my ted talks
0:11
my very first time
0:14
so i am the last born in my family
0:18
that follows and honors traditional
0:20
values my oldest sister
0:23
is a lecturer and my second sister is working for the public sector
0:29
and their paths are exactly
0:31
the same as my parents expected
0:34
finishing college getting married
0:38
at the age of 24
0:40
having a job and then having
0:42
kids and my parents
0:44
expected me to have the same path
0:48
in my sophomore year of high school
0:51
when both of my sisters
0:53
both got married my family
0:56
got a big debt
0:59
i still remember my parents
1:03
they had to get up every day work very
1:06
to make sure that
1:07
i still got a decent
1:09
life and a good education
1:12
regardless i still remember
1:15
my mom she had to borrow
1:17
money so that she could have enough 23
1:20
million vietnam dome for me
1:22
to pay my tuition
1:24
fee when it was the
1:26
in the national excellent
1:28
student the subject of english
1:31
which was pretty expensive
1:32
back then and then i passed the contest
1:36
which meant that i got direct offers
1:39
from several universities within the
1:43
and when we got the news
1:44
my mom was the
1:47
and she was like hooray
1:49
now you are able to get into
1:51
security academy so for your information
1:57
to get into that
1:59
you had to get a score of around
2:02
29 out of 30
2:04
in the entrance university
2:06
exam which obviously impossible
2:08
for me because i was super bad at maths
2:12
and plus you were very likely
2:15
to get a offer
2:16
after graduation and that is the reason why my parents wanted me to study
2:21
to that university because
2:23
they want to feel reassured
2:26
that i got a stable job
2:29
i got a foreseeable
2:30
future the so-called foreseeable
2:33
future as much as i didn't want to disappoint
2:37
my parents i knew that this path was not for me
2:42
i knew that i was not cut out
2:44
for this as a police officer
2:47
because all i wanted to do was television
2:50
and communication and that was my very first
2:54
step outside the norm
2:56
which i think doesn't necessarily
2:58
mean that you are the first person to do something
3:01
in the world it just simply means that what you are doing is not
3:05
normal is not familiar
3:08
in your closed network
3:09
of your friends of your family
3:11
and you have no idea how things would turn out
3:15
so i got into college
3:17
and on a very beautiful day
3:20
i posted a video of me covering
3:22
a very cute song
3:24
named foo so you know after one night
3:29
that video went all over the internet
3:33
and wow after a few weeks later
3:36
i got an invitation
3:37
to film the music video
3:39
and write some parts to the song with the songwriter
3:43
and wow the song became a hit
3:47
and the envy got millions
3:49
of views and wow
3:52
a ceo of an entertainment
3:53
agency contacted me everything
3:57
happened so quickly that i didn't have time to process it
4:01
and the ceo persuaded
4:03
me into becoming a singer under his company
4:06
and i was like yeah i was pretty interested
4:09
but i still have a college to finish
4:12
and then he told me his story
4:14
of dropping out of college
4:16
in his senior year to become a director
4:18
and now he made it
4:20
and i was like wow
4:21
that would be a lot of fun
4:23
i think this would be a very big opportunity
4:25
for me my time to shine
4:29
on the other side of the spectrum
4:31
the music video got good response
4:33
in general but regarding
4:35
my voice in my
4:37
people didn't like it that much
4:39
and of course i was very sad
4:42
pretty sad sad sad
4:44
and discouraged um i asked my parents for advice
4:49
and my mom asked me
4:52
so despite all the opinions
4:54
on of people on your
4:56
do you still want to pursue a career as a singer
5:00
and i was hesitating
5:01
i told mom um mom i'm not so sure
5:05
another story still during that time
5:08
i hosted three english shows
5:11
on vtv7 which is the national
5:14
education channel and everything was
5:17
going pretty well i read comments
5:21
on the internet and most of the audience
5:23
did not like my voice
5:25
and they complained about my hosting skills my english
5:28
and you know that shows
5:30
these shows were for learning english
5:33
so the host is supposed to have good
5:38
you know if i was trying to sell you
5:40
a and you didn't buy it okay i could blame the pen is not
5:44
good but when the product is me
5:47
when is me on the national tv
5:50
and serving millions of audience
5:52
all across the nation
5:54
it is getting harder and harder to sleep at night
5:57
and seeing me getting disappointed
6:00
being in myself from time to time
6:03
then my mom asked
6:04
me have you ever considered
6:07
quitting this i mean you're still a student
6:12
you don't have to work
6:13
you can fail you can try
6:15
i just wanted you to be healthy and happy every day
6:18
and an inner voice in me right at that
6:22
told my mom that homemade
6:25
no mom i still want to keep working
6:28
because i know that i can fix it
6:30
and then my mom told me
6:32
then congratulations i think that you have already found your passion
6:37
and i was like passion
6:38
i have found my
6:41
and yes i found my passion on that day
6:45
i soon realized that passion
6:48
is that pushes you through difficult
6:51
times because you don't care whatever
6:53
it takes to become better
6:55
i like to sing
6:57
but i didn't have enough determination
6:59
to push myself through people's opinions
7:03
on my voice and i quit
7:05
that means i don't have enough passion for it
7:07
i like to do the job of a tv host
7:10
and i know that i have strong
7:11
willingness to face and overcome
7:15
adversity for what i love
7:20
and as a result
7:21
i rejected the offer of the ceo
7:23
and a lot of people i know when a lot of the experts
7:26
in the industry told me that i think that was a bad decision
7:30
i think if i were you i wouldn't do that
7:34
but the thing here is that
7:36
the best is the advice that people give you for
7:41
not the advice what would they do if they were you because everyone is
7:48
and i the lesson i learned hard way from this big event in my
7:51
life is that people
7:54
cannot take the right decisions
7:55
in your life only you can
7:58
by listening more to your inner voice
8:01
and by staying true to your vision
8:04
and i know that my vision has always been that
8:07
education education has always been my backbone
8:11
my family's backbone and finishing
8:15
college and using what i learned to bring value to people
8:18
as a host as a social influencer
8:20
as an author has been always my ultimate goal
8:24
it can be very difficult to navigate in at first
8:28
but it is sometimes
8:30
better to take a conscious decision
8:33
that might appear very crazy
8:36
very not right for others
8:38
than just following the norms
8:41
blindly and then getting back to my story
8:46
i still continue with my work
8:48
as a tv host at vtv7
8:50
i still be a full-time
8:53
student at my diplomatic
8:54
academy of vietnam and regarding
8:57
my voice as a lot of audience complained about my two high-pitched
9:01
voice which was very irritating
9:03
to listen to and they didn't like my voice
9:06
i decided and i was so determined
9:08
to change my voice
9:10
by lowering the tone of my voice when speaking english
9:14
from hello this is a very nice day yes this was exactly my voice
9:18
in the past to hello
9:20
this is a very nice day
9:23
everything was going pretty well once again
9:26
and one day the produce
9:28
the producer and the director
9:30
of the show that i hosted
9:32
a podcast that had me hosting
9:35
with that high pitched voice i guess probably back in the season one the
9:38
first season of the show
9:40
and then i asked him
9:42
if it was okay
9:43
to delete the podcast
9:45
because i thought the voice was terrible
9:48
and the audience might not like it and i was too afraid to be
9:51
judged by the audience
9:54
and then he texted me
9:56
and i could feel the disappointment
9:57
and the anger a little bit in his text messages
10:00
and he told me
10:02
that voice was a part of you
10:04
why did you deny it
10:06
okay so no more podcast
10:08
that had you will be uploaded
10:11
ever again and i was like what
10:15
did did i do something wrong what was happening
10:18
am i making you angry i didn't know what was happening back then i
10:21
was so stupid it was not until when i talked to people i talked
10:26
more to my audience
10:28
and i read more comments
10:30
and people started to say
10:32
what happened to your voice v
10:34
you spoke quietly and softly
10:37
that it's really hard to listen to you
10:39
and we couldn't really find
10:41
the positive the fun vibes like before
10:44
and that left me speechless
10:48
because i was too
10:50
that the positive energy was something that i could always bring to people
10:54
that was my unique
10:55
selling point but when the audience couldn't find that in
11:00
it felt like a loss of a part in my body
11:04
i really lost sight of who i was
11:07
i listened to people's opinions
11:10
and i changed who i am
11:12
because i think might accept me for it
11:16
but i was strong
11:18
what i had been
11:19
doing so far is not trying to become
11:22
better but trying to become someone else
11:25
by rejecting myself by seeking validation
11:29
from every single one
11:32
and what the producer
11:33
the director told me
11:35
just went on a loop in my brain for weeks
11:39
that voice was the part of you why did you deny it
11:43
why did i deny it
11:45
i didn't know i think because
11:48
we as humans often make a lot of mistakes
11:52
and we very often
11:54
punish ourselves for those
11:56
mistakes because those mistakes
11:58
often come back with an overwhelming
12:01
feeling of guilt of shame
12:04
if i am not
12:05
i'm not good enough and i have never ever been good
12:08
enough and i realized
12:11
that the hardest person to forgive on this earth
12:14
is not someone who betrayed
12:17
you another friend who wasn't there for you when you need the most
12:21
is not your ex-boyfriend
12:22
who broke your heart to pieces
12:25
the hardest person to forgive on this earth is myself
12:30
and then my best friend
12:31
told me to stop doing what i have been doing so far which is
12:34
pleasing every single one
12:36
and he said just be yourself
12:39
that three i know we listen to this phrase all the time
12:43
just be yourself i mean when i'm having a shower just be yourself
12:48
when i'm eating just be
12:50
when on the stage just be yourself when i'm talking to you just be
12:53
yourself just be yourself
12:55
just three words but we're here all the time and we're getting tired of
12:59
it but it's the use of the word
13:02
just that really surprises
13:04
me because when we use the word just it means that it is something
13:08
very easy to do
13:10
then why just being myself
13:13
is still the hardest
13:15
thing for me to do
13:17
why i didn't know
13:20
and after talking to my therapist
13:23
after learning more about meditation
13:26
about my inner peace
13:28
listening more to my inner voice
13:31
i realized that my true self
13:34
is actually being covered
13:36
up with thinking and with a perception
13:39
which is based on
13:42
my true self is who i really am when i let go of all
13:46
those stories of all the
13:49
that i myself place on me
13:52
do you still remember
13:54
a challenge on facebook where people would post
13:56
10 year challenge where people would post their pictures when they were kids and
14:01
people and your friends would comment
14:03
oh you look so cute you look so happy you look so nice
14:07
and then uh the the
14:09
the the person would say oh yeah yeah i look cute i was a
14:13
cute kid back but you know
14:17
my challenge i think for
14:20
today is that take a picture
14:22
of your today and remember that in 10 years time
14:29
you will be amazed
14:30
at how gorgeous and beautiful you are because right now you are already gorgeous
14:34
and beautiful because you just don't see it yet
14:39
my stories of stepping outside the norm
14:42
is challenging myself but it is not about changing myself
14:46
because you you see as you can see i failed
14:49
when i try to change myself
14:54
at the end of the day we as humans
14:56
we are allowed to make mistakes
14:57
we are allowed to laugh at ourselves
15:00
we are you know to do something wrong
15:03
just make it's not the end of the world who on earth has not
15:07
made a mistake tell me a name who
15:10
no one so it's okay to feel bad it's okay to feel down and
15:15
heavy sometimes because the cloud rains when it's heavy
15:20
so it's really okay it's totally normal
15:23
you don't have to try to become anyone else you don't have to try
15:27
to become this guy
15:28
that guy this lady that lady know
15:32
you don't have to try to become anyone else you just be you
15:36
and being you being authentic
15:39
being an is enough
15:42
because individuality makes diversity
15:45
and individuality and diversities
15:48
are two most precious things on this earth
15:52
i know that some of you here
15:55
every single one of you here
15:57
might be having some problems and pressure to deal with every single day maybe
16:01
with your friends with your family with your work with your study
16:05
with your love life
16:08
and i just want to tell you that
16:10
no matter who you are no matter where you come from
16:14
you are the one and only and that's what makes you beautiful
16:17
and special in your own ways
16:20
and no matter what you are facing right
16:23
and i don't know no matter what the future holds for you
16:28
please never change yourself
16:32
love yourself accept yourself
16:35
and then transform i really hope you have a great day today thank you
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