0:01 Hi.
0:04 >> This guy says hello.
0:05 I want to kill myself.
0:08 >> Are you okay, sweetie?
0:09 >> I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine,
0:13 pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck.
0:19 >> Cookie.
0:19 >> Carol moved her stuff out today.
0:21 >> Let me get you some coffee.
0:28 >> Thanks.
0:28 >> No.
0:28 Oh, no.
0:29 No.
0:29 Don't stop cleansing my aura.
0:33 Don't just leave my aura alone.
0:35 Okay.
0:37 I'll be fine.
0:38 All right.
0:38 Really, everyone?
0:39 I hope she'll be very happy.
0:40 >> No, you don't.
0:41 >> No, I don't.
0:41 To hell with her.
0:42 She left me.
0:44 And you never knew she was a lesbian.
0:51 >> No.
0:52 Okay.
0:53 Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
0:57 She didn't know.
0:58 How should I know?
1:02 >> Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
1:06 >> Did I say that out loud?
1:10 >> All right, Ross.
1:11 Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now.
1:14 You're angry.
1:16 You're hurting.
1:17 Can I tell you what the answer is?
1:20 >> Strip joint.
1:23 >> Come on.
1:24 You're single.
1:24 Have some hormones.
1:25 >> See, but I don't want to be single.
1:27 Okay.
1:28 Hey, I just I just I just want to be married again.
1:35 >> And I just want a million dollars.
1:38 >> Listen to me.
1:39 It's like all of my life, everyone has always told me, "You're a shoe.
1:43 You're a shoe.
1:44 You're a shoe.
1:45 You're a shoe."
1:46 And then today, I just stopped and I said,
1:47 "What if I don't want to be a shoe?
1:49 What if I want to be a a purse, you know,
1:52 or or or a hat?"
1:55 No, I don't want you to buy me a hat.
1:57 I'm saying that I am a H.
1:58 It's a metaphor.
1:59 Daddy, >> you can see where you'd have trouble.
2:07 >> Look, Daddy, it's my life.
2:10 Well, well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
2:16 >> Well, I guess we've established you staying here with Monica.
2:20 >> Well, maybe that's my decision.
2:24 Well, maybe I don't need your money.
2:26 Wait.
2:26 Wait.
2:27 I said maybe.
2:29 >> Guess what?
2:30 >> You got a job.
2:31 >> Are you kidding?
2:32 I'm trained for nothing.
2:36 >> I was laughed at 12 interviews today.
2:38 >> And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
2:40 >> Well, you would be too if you found Joan and David boots on sale,
2:44 50% off.
2:46 >> Oh, how well you know me.
2:49 >> They're my new I don't need a job.
2:51 I don't need my parents.
2:52 I've got great boots.
2:53 Boots.
2:55 How'd you pay for them?
2:56 >> Uh, credit card.
2:58 >> And who pays for that?
3:00 >> Um, my father.
3:05 >> Come on.
3:05 You can't live off your parents your whole life.
3:07 >> I know that.
3:08 That's why I was getting married.
3:11 Give her a break.
3:12 It's hard being on your own for the first time.
3:15 >> Thank you.
3:15 You're welcome.
3:16 I remember when I first came to this city, I was 14.
3:19 My mom had just killed herself and my stepdad was back in prison.
3:22 And I got here and I didn't know anybody.
3:24 And I ended up living with this albino guy who was like cleaning windshields
3:28 outside Port Authority.
3:29 And then he killed himself.
3:32 And then I found aromatherapy.
3:34 So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
3:40 >> The word you're looking for is anyway.
3:49 All right.
3:50 You ready?
3:50 >> I don't think so.
3:51 Oh, come on.
3:52 Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,
3:58 cut.
4:01 >> Hey, welcome to the real world.
4:04 It sucks.
4:04 You're going to love it.
4:05 >> Don't tell me.
4:06 Don't tell me.
4:08 Decaf cappuccino for Joey, coffee, black, latte, and a nice tea.
4:21 I'm getting pretty good at this.
4:24 >> Excellent.
4:24 >> Good for me.
4:29 >> Oh, hey.
4:31 It's worse than the thumb.
4:35 >> This is so unfair.
4:36 >> Oh, poison scissors.
4:38 >> So, I have a flaw.
4:40 Big deal.
4:41 Like Joey's constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying.
4:44 And Ross with his over pronouncing every single word.
4:46 And Monica with that snort when she laughs.
4:49 I mean, what the hell is that thing?
4:53 I accept all those flaws.
4:54 Why can't you accept me for this?
5:03 >> Does the knuckle cracking bother everybody?
5:09 >> Well, I I could live without it.
5:13 Was it like a little annoying
5:17 or is it like
5:18 when Phoebe chews her hair?
5:23 >> Oh, now don't listen to him, Feebs.
5:24 All right.
5:25 I think it's endearing.
5:26 >> Oh, you do.
5:27 Do you?
5:34 >> Now, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.
5:38 >> Indeed, there isn't.
5:43 I should really get back to work.
5:45 >> Yeah.
5:45 Otherwise, someone might get what they actually ordered.
5:50 >> Well, the hair comes out and the gloves come off.
6:03 >> Right.
6:03 >> I don't have a plan.
6:08 >> Pizza guy.
6:09 Thank God.
6:12 >> Phoebe, >> what do you have a plan?
6:15 >> I don't even have a plan.
6:20 >> I want a mushroom, green pepper, and onion.
6:23 >> No, no, no, that's not what we ordered.
6:27 We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese.
6:34 >> Wait, you're not G Stephanopoulos?
6:36 >> Oh man, my dad's going to kill me.
6:38 Wait, did you say G Stephanopoulos?
6:43 >> Yeah.
6:43 Yeah, this one goes across the street.
6:44 I must have given him yours.
6:46 Oh, bonehead.
6:47 Bonehead.
6:49 >> Wait, was this a a small Mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?
6:55 >> Yeah, it sounds about right.
6:56 >> Was he Was he wearing a stunning blue suit and and a power tie?
7:01 >> No, pretty much just a towel.
7:03 >> Oh god.
7:04 Oh god.
7:06 >> So, you guys want me to take this back?
7:07 WHAT ARE YOU NUTS?
7:08 WE'VE GOT GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS'S PIZZA.
7:16 >> UH, FEES.
7:18 >> Who is George Snuffelophagus?
7:22 >> That's Pig Bird's friend.
7:26 >> I see pizza.
7:28 Oh, I want to see.
7:29 Let me see.
7:29 Let me see.
7:30 Hello.
7:31 Who are we spying on?
7:32 You know the White House advisor, Clinton's campaign guy.
7:36 The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt.
7:39 >> Oh, him, the little guy.
7:41 Oh, I love him.
7:44 >> Oh, wait.
7:45 Wait.
7:45 I see a woman.
7:47 Tell me it's his mother.
7:48 It's >> definitely not his mother.
7:50 >> Oh, no.
7:52 Wait.
7:52 She's walking across the floor.
7:54 She's walking.
7:55 She's walking.
7:57 She's going for THE PIZZA.
7:58 HEY, THAT'S NOT FOR YOU, OKAY, >> let's do laundry.
8:04 >> That was amazing.
8:06 >> I can't even send back soup.
8:08 >> Well, that's that's because you're such a sweet,
8:11 gentle uh >> um uh do you uh do Oh, hey, you must need detergent.
8:23 >> What's that?
8:26 >> Us.
8:26 It's uh It's new.
8:27 It's German.
8:28 It's extra tough.
8:31 Ra, do you are you going to separate those?
8:35 >> Oh god.
8:36 >> Oh, am I being like a total laundry span?
8:40 I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts
8:42 and another machine for pants?
8:47 >> Have you Have you never done this before?
8:50 >> Well, not myself, but I know other people that have.
8:55 >> Okay, you caught me.
8:56 I'm a laundry virgin.
9:00 >> >> Uh well, don't worry.
9:01 I'll use the gentle side.
9:05 >> Okay.
9:06 Um uh basically, you want to use one machine for all your whites.
9:12 >> Whites.
9:12 >> Okay.
9:13 A whole another machine for for your colors >>
9:15 and and a third for uh your uh uh delicates.
9:21 And that would be your bras and your under panty things.
9:29 Okay.
9:29 Well, what about these are white cotton panties.
9:32 Would they go with whites or with delicates?
9:33 >> Uh, that that that would be a judgment call.
9:38 >> You got the clothes clean.
9:39 Now that's the important part.
9:41 >> Oh, I guess.
9:43 Except everything looks like jammies now.
9:51 Oh, I'm sorry.
9:52 Excuse me.
9:53 We had this cart.
9:55 Yeah, well, I had a 24 in waist.
9:57 You lose things now.
9:59 Come on.
9:59 Get out of my way.
10:01 >> I'm sorry.
10:02 You know, maybe I wasn't being clear.
10:04 Uh, this was our car.
10:05 >> Hey, hey, hey.
10:06 There aren't any CLOTHES IN IT.
10:07 >> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
10:08 QUIT MAKING UP RULES.
10:10 >> Let's go.
10:11 Come on.
10:11 THIS IS MY CAR.
10:12 I THOUGHT IT WAS.
10:14 >> ALL RIGHT.
10:14 LISTEN, MINTY.
10:15 If you want this cart, you're going to have to take me with it.
10:27 >> >> Did you see that?
10:28 >> You were incredible.
10:29 >> A brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
10:32 >> Thank you.
10:32 Thank you.
10:33 I could not have done this without you.
10:41 >> Okay.
10:41 Um uh more clothes in the dryer.
10:46 Everybody sh uh Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe
10:53 Buffet.
10:57 >> Thanks.
10:58 Hi.
10:59 Um I want to start with a song that's about
11:01 that moment when you suddenly realize what life is really all about.
11:07 Okay, here we go.
11:12 >> Okay, thank you very much.
11:15 New York City has no power.
11:18 And the milk is getting sour, but to me it is not scary.
11:25 Cuz I stay away from dairy.
11:34 >> It's that Victoria's Secret model.
11:36 Something something goodacre.
11:39 >> Hi, Mom.
11:39 It's Jill.
11:40 >> She's right.
11:41 It's Jill.
11:42 Jill Goodacre.
11:43 Oh my god.
11:45 I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
11:50 Is it a vestibule?
11:51 Maybe it's an ATM.
11:53 Oh yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot.
11:58 >> Yeah, I'm fine.
11:59 I'm just stuck at the bank.
12:01 But an ATM vestibule.
12:03 >> Jill says vestibule.
12:05 I'm going with vestibule.
12:08 >> I'm fine.
12:09 No, I'm not alone.
12:11 I don't know.
12:12 Some guy.
12:13 >> Oh, some guy.
12:16 Some guy.
12:18 Hey, Jill.
12:18 I saw you with some guy last night.
12:21 Yes, he was some guy.
12:29 >> Would you like some gum?
12:30 >> Oh, is it sugarless?
12:34 >> Sorry, it's not.
12:35 >> Oh, then no thanks.
12:36 What the hell was that?
12:40 Mental note, if Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it.
12:44 If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
12:49 You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.
12:53 Gum would be perfection.
12:56 Gum would be perfection.
12:58 Could have said gum would be nice.
13:00 Could have said I'll have a stick, but no, no, no, no, no.
13:02 For me, gum is perfection.
13:06 I loathe myself.
13:10 Okay.
13:11 What next?
13:13 Blow a bubble.
13:14 A bubble's good.
13:15 It's got a uh boyish charm.
13:17 It's impish.
13:19 Here we go.
13:32 Now it's going in.
13:34 Okay.
13:34 Okay.
13:35 It It's okay.
13:36 All I need to do is reach over
13:38 and put it back in my mouth.
13:43 >> Good.
13:44 Safe.
13:44 We're back on track.
13:46 And I'm chewing someone else's gum.
13:52 This is not my gum.
13:53 Oh my god.
13:54 Oh my god.
13:56 And now you're choking.
14:00 >> Are you all right?
14:01 >> Oh my god.
14:04 YOU'RE CHOKING >> BETTER.
14:13 >> YES.
14:13 >> Thank you.
14:14 That was That was >> perfection.
14:21 >> The most unbelievable thing has happened.
14:23 Underdog has gotten away.
14:25 >> The balloon.
14:26 No.
14:26 No.
14:27 The actual cartoon character.
14:30 Of course, the balloon.
14:33 It's all over the news.
14:34 Right before he reached Macy's,
14:35 he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park.
14:38 I'm going to the roof.
14:39 Who's with me?
14:40 >> I can't.
14:40 I got to go.
14:42 >> Come on.
14:42 An 80ft inflatable dog loose over the city.
14:44 How often does that happen?
14:46 >> Almost never.
14:48 >> Got the keys.
14:51 >> Okay.
14:51 First saw the giant dog shadow fall over the park.
14:54 >> Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down?
14:56 I mean, that was just mean.
14:59 Okay.
15:00 Right about now, the turkey should be crispy on the outside,
15:03 juicy on the inside.
15:06 >> Why are we standing here?
15:08 >> We're waiting for you to open the door.
15:10 You've got the keys.
15:12 >> No, I don't.
15:15 Yes, you do.
15:16 When we left, you said, "Got the keys."
15:19 No, I didn't.
15:20 I asked, "Got the keys?"
15:24 >> No, no, no.
15:25 You said got the keys.
15:27 Either of you have the keys.
15:32 >> The oven is on.
15:33 >> Oh, I've got to get my ticket.
15:34 >> Oh, wait.
15:35 Wait.
15:35 We have a copy of YOUR KEY.
15:36 >> WELL, THEY GET IT.
15:37 GET IT.
15:38 >> HEY.
15:38 HEY.
15:38 That tone won't make me go any faster, >> Joey.
15:41 >> That one will.
15:44 >> I swear you said you HAD THE KEYS.
15:46 >> NO, I DIDN'T.
15:47 I WOULDN'T SAY I had the keys unless I had the keys.
15:49 I OBVIOUSLY DID NOT HAVE THE KEYS.
15:51 >> OH, OKAY.
15:51 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
15:52 ENOUGH with the keys.
15:52 No one say keys.
15:57 Why would I have the keys?
16:00 >> Aside from the fact that you said you had them, BUT I DIDN'T.
16:03 WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE.
16:04 WHY?
16:05 >> BECAUSE WHY?
16:06 BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS MY RESPONSIBILITY.
16:08 Is that I mean, isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone?
16:11 YOU KNOW, EVERYONE wants a DIFFERENT KIND OF POTATO.
16:13 SO, I'M MAKING different kinds of potatoes.
16:15 I MEAN, DOES ANYBODY care what kind of potatoes I want?
16:19 NO.
16:20 NO.
16:21 NO.
16:22 YOU KNOW, JUST AS LONG
16:23 AS PHOEBE gets her peas
16:25 AND ONIONS AND MARIO GETS HIS TOTS
16:27 AND get my first Thanksgiving
16:31 and I IT'S ALL BURNED
16:33 AND I >> Hey,
16:37 Monica.
16:37 Only dogs can hear you now.
16:39 So, look, the door's open.
16:41 Here we go.
16:47 >> Oh, well, turkeyy's burnt.
16:51 Potatoes are ruined.
16:52 Potatoes are ruined.
16:53 Potatoes are ruined.
16:56 >> Here we come.
16:57 Walking down the >> This doesn't smell like mom's.
17:05 >> No, it doesn't, does it?
17:07 But you wanted lumps, Ross.
17:09 WELL, HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
17:10 YOU GOT ONE.
17:13 >> OH, GOD.
17:14 This is great.
17:15 The plane is gone, so I guess I'm stuck here with you guys.
17:18 >> Hey, we all had better plans.
17:20 Okay.
17:21 This was nobody's first choice.
17:23 >> Oh, really?
17:24 SO WHY WAS I BUSTING MY ASS TO MAKE THIS DELICIOUS THANKSGIVING DINNER?
17:28 >> YOU CALL IT DELICIOUS.
17:32 Why don't WE GO SEE IT?
17:34 >> STOP IT.
17:34 STOP IT.
17:35 >> Now this feels like Thanksgiving.
17:43 >> Okay.
17:43 Who wants light cheese and who wants dark cheese?
17:47 >> I don't even want to know about the dark cheese.
17:51 Does anybody want to split this with me?
17:52 >> Oh, I will.
17:53 >> You guys have to make a wish.
17:56 >> Make a wish.
17:57 >> Come on.
17:57 You know Thanksgiving.
18:04 >> Woohoo.
18:04 You got the bigger half.
18:05 What' you wish for?
18:07 >> The bigger half.
18:11 >> All right.
18:12 I'd like to propose a toast.
18:14 Little toast here.
18:17 I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you planned,
18:20 but for me, this has been really great.
18:23 You know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting.
18:31 Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean,
18:32 if you'd gone to Veil
18:33 or if you guys had been with your family
18:35 or if you didn't have syphilis
18:38 and stuff,
18:42 we wouldn't be all together, you know?
18:44 So, I guess what I'm trying to say is
18:46 that uh I'm very thankful
18:48 that all of your Thanksgiving sucked.
18:53 >> It's so sweet.
18:54 >> Thank you.
18:58 >> And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas >> and a crappy new year.
19:04 >> Here, >> guys.
19:05 There's uh somebody I'd like you to meet.
19:10 >> Wait, wait.
19:12 What is that?
19:12 That would be Marcel.
19:14 You want to say hi?
19:14 >> No.
19:15 No, I don't.
19:16 Oh, he is precious.
19:17 Where did you get him?
19:18 >> My friend Bethl rescued him from some lab.
19:20 >> That is so cruel.
19:22 Why?
19:22 Why would a parent name their child Bethl?
19:28 >> Hey, that monkeyy's got a Ross on his ass.
19:36 >> Ros, is he going to live with you like in your apartment?
19:39 >> Yeah.
19:39 I mean, it's been kind of quiet since Carol left.
19:42 So, >> why don't you just get a roommate?
19:44 >> Uh, I don't know.
19:45 I think you reach a certain age,
19:46 having a roommate is just kind of pathetic.
19:51 >> Uh, sorry, that's that's pathetive.
19:56 >> What do you think?
19:58 >> I think it's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
20:00 >> I know.
20:02 >> So, how does this work?
20:03 Going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
20:05 Who >> cares?
20:06 We'll eat at the sink.
20:07 Come on, somebody.
20:08 Heads up, ROSS.
20:12 SCORE.
20:13 >> You suck.
20:25 >> I'm sorry.
20:26 I'm sorry.
20:27 >> That is it.
20:28 You just barge in here.
20:29 You don't knock.
20:30 YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANYBODY'S PRIVACY.
20:32 WAIT.
20:33 NO.
20:33 YOU WAIT.
20:33 THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
20:34 >> Just say ONE THING.
20:36 >> WHAT?
20:36 WHAT?
20:37 That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your nipular areas.
20:43 >> I'm sorry.
20:43 I'm sorry.
20:44 I could >> Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing.
21:07 >> >> What's the matter with you?
21:08 >> I THOUGHT IT WAS TROUBLE.
21:09 >> OH, WHAT?
21:10 >> YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE SO I COULD SEE YOUR THING.
21:16 >> SORRY, my my thing was in there with me.
21:21 >> Hey, Joey.
21:23 What's going on?
21:24 >> Clear the tracks for the Booby Payback Express.
21:27 Next stop, Rachel Green.
21:35 >> >> Joey, what the hell were you doing?
21:38 >> Sorry, wrong boobies.
21:53 >> Hello, Joey.
21:56 >> Hello, dear.
22:07 >> >> Who are they?
22:08 >> The uh blonde is my ex wife
22:11 and the woman touching her is her close personal friend.
22:19 >> I mean they're lovers.
22:21 >> If you want to put a label on it.
22:24 >> Wow.
22:25 Uh anything else I should know?
22:27 >> Nope.
22:28 Nope.
22:28 That That's it.
22:30 Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.
22:37 I always forget that part.
22:52 >> Hello.
22:52 Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
22:57 >> No.
22:58 But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
23:01 >> So, where are you going, Mr.
23:02 Sudy man?
23:03 >> Well, I have an appointment to see Dr.
23:05 Robert Pilman, career counselor.
23:07 Agogo.
23:09 >> I added the agogo.
23:11 >> Career counselor.
23:13 >> Hey, you guys all know what you want to do.
23:16 >> I don't.
23:18 >> Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do.
23:22 You know, you have goals.
23:23 You have dreams.
23:24 I don't have a dream.
23:26 Uh, the lesserk known I don't have a dream speech.
23:31 >> Oh, I love my life.
23:32 I love my life.
23:34 Oh, Bryant song.
23:38 The meeting with that guy went great.
23:40 So great.
23:41 He showed me where the restaurant's going to be.
23:43 It's It's this cute little place on Tent Street.
23:45 It's not too big.
23:46 It's not too small.
23:47 It's just right.
23:48 >> Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
23:51 >> So now we draw cards.
23:58 So, I wouldn't need any, right?
23:59 Cuz I have a straight.
24:00 >> Oh, CONGRATULATIONS.
24:06 >> OKAY, FEBS, how many do you want?
24:08 >> Okay, I just need two.
24:09 The um 10 of spades and the six of clubs.
24:14 >> No.
24:15 Uh Febs, you can't do that.
24:16 You can't >> Oh, wait.
24:17 I have the T of spades.
24:18 Here you want.
24:21 >> Uh no.
24:22 See, uh you you can't do that.
24:24 No, that's okay.
24:24 That's okay.
24:25 I don't need them.
24:25 I'm going for force.
24:26 >> Oh, you're >> Damn it.
24:30 Damn it.
24:30 Damn it.
24:32 >> Yeah, >> I see.
24:32 So then, um, you were lying >> about what?
24:35 >> About how good your cards were.
24:37 >> I was bluffing.
24:39 >> Aha.
24:39 And what is bluffing?
24:43 >> Is it not another word for lying?
24:47 >> Okay.
24:48 Sorry to break up this party,
24:49 but I've got resumes to fix before work tomorrow.
24:52 Ra, we got to settle.
24:54 >> Settle what?
24:56 >> The Jamestown colony of Virginia.
25:01 >> You see, King George is giving us the land.
25:03 So, >> the game, Rachel, the game.
25:08 You owe us money for the game.
25:10 >> Oh, right.
25:11 >> You know what, you guys?
25:12 It's their first time.
25:13 Why don't we just forget about the money?
25:15 >> Well, no, we'll pay.
25:18 Monica, I had another answer already.
25:22 And you know what?
25:24 We want a rematch.
25:25 >> Well, that's fine with me.
25:27 Could use the money.
25:28 >> All right.
25:30 >> Your money's mine.
25:31 Green.
25:32 >> Your fly is open.
25:33 GELLER.
25:39 >> You guys, you know what I just realized?
25:42 Joker is poker with a J.
25:50 Coincidence?
25:50 Hey, that's that's Joe incidents with a C.
26:05 >> Uh, Phoebe.
26:06 Phoebe.
26:06 >> Yeah, I'm I'm out.
26:09 >> I'm in.
26:10 >> Me, too.
26:12 >> Me, too.
26:13 All right.
26:13 What do you got?
26:14 >> Well, you better hop out of the shower cuz I got a flush.
26:22 >> >> Well, well, well.
26:24 Hop back in, bucko, CUZ I GOT FOUR SIXES.
26:29 I GOT FOUR SIXES.
26:30 I WON.
26:31 I actually won.
26:32 Oh my.
26:33 Oh, look.
26:33 You know what?
26:34 I think I'm going to make a little Ross pile.
26:38 I think that one was Ross's.
26:39 And I think Oh, that one was Ross's.
26:43 >> I see your 20.
26:46 Where's your 25?
26:53 >> >> Say you're 25 and uh Monica, get my purse.
27:03 >> Rachel, there's nothing in it.
27:07 >> Okay, then get me your purse.
27:13 Okay, babe.
27:14 Here you go.
27:15 Good luck.
27:16 Thank you.
27:18 I saw you're 25 and I raised you seven teen.
27:34 >> Joey, I'm a little shy.
27:37 >> That's okay, Ross.
27:38 You can ask me.
27:46 What do you need?
27:47 What do you need?
27:48 >> 15.
27:48 >> All right.
27:49 Here's 10.
27:49 >> Here.
27:49 I got five.
27:50 I got five.
27:51 Thank you.
27:51 >> Good luck.
27:54 >> Okay.
27:54 I am calling your 17.
27:57 What do you got?
28:20 Full house.
28:20 >> >> You got me.
28:20 Oh.
28:32 That's all right.
28:33 That's a tough hand to beat.
28:34 I thought we had them.
28:35 >> Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards,
28:37 you know.
28:37 But, uh, >> look how happy she is.
28:47 >> Hey.
28:47 Hey.
28:47 How was the first day?
28:49 >> Oh, excellent.
28:50 Everyone was so, so nice.
28:53 >> See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes.
29:00 Me.
29:00 No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.
29:02 >> Why not?
29:02 >> Well, because you know >> they don't like you.
29:12 >> What?
29:12 >> I thought you'd do that.
29:16 >> Nuh-uh.
29:16 >> Who doesn't like me?
29:19 >> Everyone except for um No, everyone.
29:25 >> What are you talking about?
29:27 >> Don't feel bad.
29:28 You know, they used to like you a lot,
29:31 but then you got promoted and you know, now you're all like Mr.
29:34 Bossman.
29:35 You know, Mr.
29:36 Bing, Mr.
29:36 Bing, boss man Bing.
29:40 >> I can't believe it.
29:42 >> Yeah.
29:42 Yeah.
29:42 They even do you.
29:45 >> They do me, >> you know, like um Okay.
29:49 Um could that report be any later?
29:58 I don't sound like that.
29:59 >> Oh.
29:59 Oh, J.
30:00 >> Yeah, you do.
30:02 >> The hills are alive with the sound of music.
30:13 MY STONE.
30:15 MY STONE.
30:18 >> OKAY, I don't sound like that.
30:19 That is so not true.
30:24 That is so not That is so not that.
30:27 Oh, shut up.
30:51 >> >> Oh, that's nice.
31:10 Oh, Ros.
31:10 Ross, >> I'm here.
31:14 >> You are um we um we were just Wow.
31:28 >> What?
31:28 >> Um >> great.
31:29 Now I'm having a baby.
31:33 >> What?
31:33 No, I'm I'm HAVING I'M HAVING A BABY.
31:36 I'M I'M HAVING IT WITH THE PHONE.
31:37 THE PHONE.
31:38 THE PHONE.
31:44 >> ROS, >> I'm hurt.
31:50 >> Monica, let's go.
31:51 Come on now, people.
31:52 Woman in labor.
31:53 >> Hey, Ross, look what I got going here.
31:54 >> Yeah, save it for the cab.
31:55 Okay.
31:57 >> What are you doing?
31:58 What are you doing?
31:59 We're going to a hospital.
32:00 >> What?
32:00 So I can't look nice?
32:01 There might be doctors there.
32:03 >> Joey, get out of the fridge.
32:05 >> All right.
32:05 All right.
32:07 >> What is that for the ride?
32:09 >> Oh, yeah.
32:10 Like in a cab.
32:11 >> Save it.
32:11 >> Okay.
32:12 Hating this.
32:12 >> MONICA, COME ON OUT NOW.
32:14 Let's go.
32:15 >> Baby coming.
32:16 >> I can't believe it.
32:17 I'm going to be an ant.
32:19 >> I'm going to have like a nephew.
32:21 >> That's nice.
32:22 Get out.
32:23 Let's go.
32:23 Come on.
32:26 Right.
32:26 Right.
32:26 I'm going.
32:26 I'm going.
32:35 Here we go.
32:40 >> They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch.
32:45 Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
32:50 Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why.
32:54 And you cry and you cry
32:56 and you cry and you cry
32:59 and you cry and you >> Thanks,
33:02 Ross.
33:02 >> Yeah, I'm paying you to stop.
33:07 >> Okay.
33:07 >> Oh, look.
33:08 Twins.
33:09 Hi, guys.
33:09 Oh, cute.
33:12 Cute.
33:12 >> No fair.
33:14 I don't even have one.
33:15 How come they get two?
33:17 >> You'll get one.
33:18 >> Oh, yeah.
33:19 When?
33:20 >> All right.
33:20 I'll tell you what. when we're 40.
33:22 If neither of us are married,
33:24 >> what do you say you and I get together and have one?
33:27 >> Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
33:30 >> Oh, no, no, no.
33:31 I I just meant hypothetically.
33:33 >> Okay.
33:33 Hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
33:35 >> No, no, no, >> no, no.
33:37 What is it?
33:37 Seriously, is there something fundamentally unmarable about me?
33:41 >> Uh uh.
33:44 >> Well, >> dear God, this this parachute is a knapsack.
33:48 >> Everything's going fine.
33:49 Really?
33:50 Yeah, Ross is great.
33:51 He's a He's in a whole other place now.
33:56 He's gone.
33:57 No, no, you you don't have to fly back.
34:01 Really?
34:01 >> What do you mean?
34:01 This might be your only chance.
34:03 Would you stop?
34:05 I'm only 26.
34:06 I'm I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
34:22 Oh god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.
34:25 >> I know.
34:26 I still am one of these.
34:32 >> Ross, >> can I Okay, go ahead.
34:36 Go ahead.
34:37 You got to >> Hi, Ben.
34:46 Hi.
34:46 I'm your aunt Monica.
34:48 Yes, I am.
34:49 I'm your aunt, Monica.
34:57 >> I I will always have gum.
35:01 >> Hey, thanks.
35:03 >> How long did you think this barbecue was going to last?
35:06 >> I'm going to China.
35:08 >> Jeez, you say one thing.
35:09 And >> you're going to China?
35:13 >> Yeah, it it's for the museum.
35:15 Someone found a bone.
35:16 We want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone.
35:18 So, I'm going over there trying to persuade them to give us the It's
35:21 a It's a whole big bone thing.
35:24 Anyway, I'm going to be gone for like uh like a week.
35:27 So, uh if you want to reach me, you can't.
35:29 So, here's my itinerary.
35:33 Um here's a picture of me.
35:34 >> Oh, let me see.
35:36 >> Could you take it to Carol's every now
35:38 and then and show it to Ben just
35:40 so he doesn't forget me?
35:41 >> Yeah.
35:42 Hi, Ben.
35:43 I'm your father.
35:47 I am the head.
35:55 >> All right, this barbecue is going to be very fun.
35:58 >> Hey, is Rachel here?
35:59 Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I I left.
36:02 >> Oh, no.
36:02 She's out having drinks with Carl.
36:10 >> Oh, hey, who's Carl?
36:10 >> You know that guy that she met at the coffee house?
36:11 >> No.
36:12 Well, well, see, there's this guy that she met at >> at the coffee house,
36:15 right?
36:17 >> So, you do know who he is.
36:23 >> Oh, so pretty.
36:26 This must have cost him a fortune.
36:28 I can't believe he did this.
36:29 >> Come on, Ross.
36:30 Remember back in college
36:31 when he fell in love with Carol
36:32 and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
36:37 >> What did you just say?
36:50 >> >> Crystal duck.
36:56 >> No, no, no.
36:59 The um the love part.
37:10 >> Oh.
37:12 My god.
37:12 >> Oh, no.
37:13 No, no, no.
37:15 That's good.
37:15 Just keep rubbing your head.
37:17 That'll turn back time.
37:22 >> I mean, you and Ross, did you have any idea?
37:26 >> No.
37:26 None.
37:27 I mean, my first night in the city,
37:29 he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened,
37:32 so I just Well, what else did he say?
37:35 I mean, does he like want to go out with me?
37:37 Well, given that he's desperately in love with you,
37:39 he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
37:45 >> All this time?
37:47 >> Well, I've got to talk to him.
37:48 >> Yeah, he's in China.
37:49 >> The country?
37:52 >> No, no, wait.
37:53 His flight doesn't leave for another 45 more minutes.
37:55 >> What about the time difference?
37:56 >> From here to the airport.
38:00 >> Yes.
38:00 >> You're never going to make it.
38:01 >> Well, I've got to try.
38:03 Rachel, what are you going to say to him?
38:05 I I don't know.
38:07 >> Well, then maybe you shouldn't go.
38:08 >> He's right.
38:09 Cuz if you're just going to like break his heart,
38:10 that's the kind of thing that can wait.
38:12 >> Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now.
38:14 >> I don't know.
38:15 Maybe I'll know when I see him.
38:16 Here, look.
38:17 All right.
38:17 Does this help?
38:25 >> No.
38:27 Look, all I know is
38:28 that I cannot wait a week until I see him.
38:29 I mean, this is just too big, you know?
38:31 Just I just I've just got to talk to him.
38:33 I I got to Okay, I'll see you later.
38:35 >> Rachel, I love you.
38:37 Deal with me first.
38:52 Excuse me.
38:53 >> Pardon me.
38:53 Excuse me.
38:54 >> Hi.
38:54 Hi.
38:54 Can I see your boarding pass?
38:55 >> No.
38:55 No.
38:56 I don't have one.
38:56 I just need to talk to my friend.
38:57 >> Oh, I'm sorry.
38:58 You are not allowed on the jetway unless you have a boarding pass.
39:01 >> No, I know that I He just went on.
39:02 He's right there.
39:03 He's got the blue jacket on.
39:04 I can I just I'm sorry.
39:05 No, no.
39:05 Federal regulations.
39:07 Okay.
39:08 All right.
39:08 Okay.
39:08 Um then could you please uh just give him a message for me, please?
39:12 This is very important.
39:13 All right.
39:14 What's the message?
39:16 Uh I don't know.
39:21 >> Sir.
39:21 Sir, excuse me, sir.
39:23 >> Um, I have a message for you.
39:25 >> What?
39:25 >> It's from Rachel.
39:26 She said that she loved the present
39:27 and she will see you
39:28 when you get back.
39:32 >> What?
39:32 >> Toby.
39:33 Oh, for God's sake.
39:34 I don't know what she's talking about.
39:35 There's no Rachel.
39:37 Don't give me that deep freeze.
