0:01 You look cute in bubbles.
0:02 >> Uh you're just all liquored up.
0:08 >> Hey, it's me.
0:09 Coming in.
0:17 >> I've had a very long hard day.
0:20 Uh I'm going to go get some chicken.
0:21 You want some?
0:22 >> Uh no thanks.
0:22 No chicken.
0:23 Bye-bye then.
0:26 >> >> You sure?
0:26 Some extra crispy, dirty rice, beans?
0:28 >> For the last time, NO.
0:29 GET OUT.
0:30 GET OUT, JOEY.
0:36 >> RIGHT.
0:36 >> >> ARE YOU OKAY?
0:37 I'm so sorry.
0:38 He wouldn't leave.
0:39 He kept asking me if I wanted chicken.
0:44 >> >> Chicken?
0:44 I could eat some chicken.
0:47 >> >> HEY, JOE.
0:51 >> >> YEAH, CAN I GET A UH THREE-PIECE, UH some coleslaw, and some beans,
0:54 and a Coke?
0:55 Ah ah diet Coke.
1:00 >> What is it, hon?
1:01 >> I can't find I can't find anything that I want to eat.
1:04 Everything makes me nauseous.
1:05 I'm telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cake.
1:08 Ooh, cake.
1:12 No.
1:12 Uh I am sorry.
1:14 >> All right.
1:15 >> Ooh, what is that smell?
1:17 It's coming from the bathroom.
1:18 Ooh.
1:20 >> Well, pregnancy does give you some weird cravings.
1:24 >> Yeah.
1:24 >> It's me.
1:24 It's Phoebe.
1:25 Listen, there's something in here I want to eat.
1:27 What what >> >> What smells so good?
1:33 >> Is it the shampoo?
1:34 It's guava.
1:37 >> No.
1:37 >> Oh, wait.
1:37 Wait.
1:39 Is it my baloney sandwich?
1:44 >> >> Yes.
1:44 Yes.
1:45 Yes.
1:46 Can't believe it.
1:46 The baby wants baloney.
1:48 Baby wants me to eat meat.
1:49 I can't eat meat.
1:50 >> Wait.
1:51 Wait.
1:53 Maybe it's a pickle.
1:58 >> Someone in there?
2:00 >> No.
2:01 This is just part of a daredevil game
2:03 that I play called wait until the last moment before I burst
2:05 and die.
2:07 >> >> Geez, man.
2:08 Did you fall high?
2:11 So, uh did you did did did you fall high?
2:15 >> Someone was in the ladies room and I couldn't wait.
2:17 I left the lid up for you though.
2:22 >> You know what uh go go go ahead.
2:24 I'm I'm talking to uh This is the part where you'd say your name.
2:31 >> Ginger.
2:32 >> Ginger.
2:33 I'm talking to Ginger.
2:33 So.
2:37 >> Don't you have to use the bathroom?
2:41 >> Nope.
2:41 Nope.
2:41 I just uh I'd rather uh talk to you.
2:44 Yes, I do.
2:47 >> >> Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom.
2:50 >> Someone in here.
2:51 >> Come on.
2:51 Seriously, Joey.
2:52 What's the part?
2:55 >> Uh Let me just start over.
2:56 >> You're you're his what?
3:00 >> >> I'm his butt double, okay?
3:07 I play Al Pacino's butt.
3:12 All right?
3:13 He goes into the shower and then I'm his butt.
3:18 >> >> Oh my god.
3:19 >> Come on, you guys.
3:21 This is a real movie and Al Pacino's in it.
3:23 And that's big.
3:24 >> Oh no, it's terrific.
3:25 It's it's you know, you deserve this.
3:27 After all your years of struggling,
3:28 you've finally been able to crack your way into the film.
3:31 >> >> Uh listen, I just want to thank you for this great opportunity.
3:36 >> Lose the robe.
3:39 >> With me?
3:40 >> That would work.
3:41 >> Right.
3:42 Okay.
3:43 Losing the robe.
3:46 Okay, and the robe is lost.
3:49 >> Okay, everybody.
3:49 I would I'd get this in one take, please.
3:52 Let's roll it.
3:53 Water's working.
3:55 And action.
3:59 And cut.
4:01 Hey butt guy, what the hell are you doing?
4:04 >> >> I'm I'm channeling.
4:06 >> No, that was clenching.
4:09 >> The way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know?
4:12 I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing.
4:15 I think his butt would be angry here.
4:19 >> You think his butt would like >> to get this shot before lunch.
4:22 Once again, rolling.
4:24 Water working.
4:26 And action.
4:29 And cut.
4:31 What was that?
4:33 >> I was going for quiet desperation.
4:38 >> If you have to ask it.
4:42 Fired.
4:42 >> Oh.
4:42 >> Yeah, they said I acted too much with it.
4:47 I told everybody about this.
4:49 Now, everyone's going to go to the theater expecting to see me,
4:51 and I don't >> Joey, you know what?
4:52 No one is going to be able to tell.
4:54 >> My mom will.
4:58 >> >> Something so sweet and disturbing about that.
5:03 >> >> You know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for 6 years,
5:06 and I finally get my shot, and I blow it.
5:10 >> Joey, maybe this wasn't your shot.
5:12 >> Yeah, I I I think when it's your shot, you know,
5:14 you you know it's your shot.
5:15 Did did it feel like your shot?
5:21 >> Hard to tell.
5:21 I was naked.
5:24 >> No, I don't think this was your shot.
5:25 I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot.
5:28 I really believe big things are going to happen for you.
5:30 I do.
5:31 And you've got to just keep thinking about the day
5:33 that some kid is going to run up to his friends
5:35 and go,
5:36 "I got the part!
5:36 I got the part!
5:37 I'm going to be JOEY TRIBBIANI'S ASS!"
5:46 >> >> I I YOU JUST CRACKED A RIB,
5:48 BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE TODAY IS MY WEDDING DAY.
5:50 MY DAY IS finally here.
5:56 >> You know, she might not even notice HE'S GONE.
6:00 >> >> I'M STARTING READY.
6:03 >> GOD, DON'T WE CAN'T LET HER START GETTING READY.
6:06 This is too awful.
6:08 >> Oh God, but wait,
6:09 she'll be in the gown
6:10 and then he won't show up
6:12 and then she's going to have to take off the gown
6:14 and >> Just stop it.
6:15 Stop it, Rachel.
6:15 You can't do this here.
6:19 >> I'm sorry.
6:20 I'm sorry.
6:21 It's just It's just so sad.
6:23 >> You got to pull yourself together.
6:25 Monica can't see you like this then she'll know something's wrong.
6:28 >> I know.
6:28 I know.
6:29 Oh God, there's no tissue.
6:33 Can you grab me some toilet paper?
6:35 >> Yeah.
6:35 >> Oh, that's gone, too.
6:36 >> This is Monica's bathroom, right?
6:40 >> >> I I I I found one.
6:46 >> Okay.
6:46 Oh, thank you.
6:47 Oh God.
6:52 Oh God.
6:52 >> Can I have another one?
6:59 >> Sure.
6:59 >> >> Do you NEED SOME FLOSS?
7:02 >> >> OH GOD, I JUST CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT IS going to happen
7:05 if Chandler doesn't show up.
7:07 >> Oh, here's a whole bunch.
7:08 >> Oh, I mean she's going to be at the wedding waiting for him
7:11 and people will be whispering,
7:13 "Oh, that poor girl."
7:15 You know, and then she'll have to come back here and live all alone.
7:18 Oh my God.
7:20 >> What?
7:20 >> There was a pregnancy test in the garbage and it's positive.
7:27 Monica's pregnant.
7:31 So, I guess she won't be totally alone.
7:33 >> Monica, listen.
7:33 I saw it down at the hardware store.
7:35 They got those designer tiles on sale
7:37 if you ever want to redo your bathroom floor.
7:40 >> What's wrong with my bathroom floor?
7:42 >> Nothing.
7:42 It's just old and dingy.
7:44 That's all.
7:46 >> >> I highly doubt that.
7:48 >> Oh, yeah?
7:49 If you move your hamper,
7:52 you can see the color of the tile used to be.
7:58 Yeah.
7:58 >> I can't live like this.
7:59 What are we going to do?
8:00 What are we going to do?
8:01 >> Relax.
8:01 Relax.
8:02 Here, hold this.
8:02 This old stuff comes right up.
8:04 I'll show you.
8:08 >> >> A little more than I want to see.
8:13 >> Look at that.
8:14 Every inch of this is glued down.
8:16 It takes forever to pry this up.
8:18 You should You should just leave it.
8:22 >> I can't leave it.
8:23 You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
8:35 >> Yeah, there you go.
8:38 >> Aw.
8:38 Yeah, that's nice.
8:39 You know, we can put it back there after the surgeons remove it from
8:41 your colon.
8:51 >> >> I'M SORRY.
8:52 I'M SORRY.
8:53 >> THAT IS IT.
8:54 You just barge in here.
8:55 You don't knock.
8:56 YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANYBODY'S PRIVACY.
8:58 >> RACHEL, WAIT.
8:59 WAIT.
8:59 >> KNOW.
8:59 YOU WAIT.
8:59 THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
9:01 PRIVACY.
9:01 >> SAY ONE THING?
9:02 >> WHAT?
9:02 WHAT?
9:03 >> That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your nipple area.
9:09 >> I'm sorry.
9:09 I'm sorry.
9:11 I couldn't.
9:17 >> Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing.
9:33 >> >> What the matter with you?
9:34 >> I thought IT WAS CHANDLER.
9:35 >> OH, WHAT?
9:36 >> YOU WE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE SO I COULD SEE YOUR THING.
9:42 >> >> SORRY, MY MY THING was in there with me.
9:47 >> Hey Joey.
9:49 What's going on?
9:50 >> Clear the tracks for the booby payback express.
9:53 Next stop, Rachel Green.
10:01 >> >> JOEY!
10:02 WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?
10:04 >> SORRY, wrong boobies.
10:19 >> >> Hello Joey.
10:22 >> Hello dear.
10:23 >> Chicks don't swim.
10:24 >> Are you sure?
10:28 >> I don't know.
10:31 Should we try?
10:40 >> Sure.
10:40 >> See, I told you they don't swim.
10:44 >> >> Well, give me a minute.
10:51 >> No!
10:51 >> Monica?
10:51 >> >> What time is it?
10:52 >> Uh 9:00.
10:52 >> Why is it darker?
10:58 >> Well, that's because you always sleep till noon, silly.
11:02 This is what 9:00 looks like.
11:05 >> I guess I'll get washed up then.
11:08 Watch that sunrise.
11:13 >> I'm really getting tired of sneaking around all the time.
11:16 >> I know, me too.
11:16 You know, hey, you know what?
11:17 What if we went away for the whole weekend?
11:19 You know, to have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
11:23 >> All weekend?
11:24 That's a whole lot of naked.
11:27 >> Yeah, I can say
11:27 that I have a conference
11:28 and you can say you have a chef thing.
11:31 >> Oh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair
11:33 that they have in Jersey.
11:34 >> Okay, you know you're not going to.
11:38 Let's go.
11:39 >> Okay.
11:39 Wait.
11:39 What about Joey?
11:53 >> OH, FIRE!
11:54 THERE'S A FIRE!
11:55 FIRE!
12:22 >> >> SORRY I I SCARED YOU IN THERE.
12:24 >> OH, it's okay.
12:27 By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
12:53 >> Yeah.
12:53 >> >> Joey?
12:53 >> HUH?
12:53 >> JOEY!
12:53 >> CHANDLER?
12:53 >> >> WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?
12:54 I thought you guys took off.
12:55 >> Oh, no, no, no.
12:55 SHE TOOK OFF.
12:56 WITH MY CLOTHES.
13:00 >> ARE YOU NAKED IN THERE?
13:01 >> WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
13:04 I'm wearing panties.
13:09 >> You uh you always wear panties?
13:13 >> >> No, no.
13:14 This is the first time.
13:17 >> Wow.
13:18 Talk about your bad luck.
13:20 I mean the first time you try panties
13:23 and someone walks off with your clothes.
13:26 >> >> I was not trying out.
13:29 Susie asked me to wear them.
13:31 >> Well, let me see.
13:34 >> No.
13:34 I'm not letting you or anybody else see ever.
13:36 >> All right.
13:36 All right.
13:43 Woah.
13:43 Someone's flossing.
13:51 >> >> Joey, some people don't like that.
13:55 >> Chandler's wearing panties.
13:58 >> Let me see.
13:59 >> No, no, you don't have to see.
14:03 >> Nice tushy.
14:06 >> All right.
14:07 Why don't you give me your underpants?
14:08 >> Oh, no.
14:08 No, no.
14:09 >> Can't help you.
14:10 I'm not wearing any.
14:13 >> How can you not be wearing any underwear?
14:15 >> Oh, I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
14:20 >> >> All right, look, Ross.
14:21 I'll give you $50 for your underpants.
14:24 >> Fair enough.
14:51 >> >> My god, these pants.
14:53 I'm burning up.
14:58 >> >> Oh, oh, she wants to snuggle now?
14:59 What?
15:00 Is she trying to kill me?
15:01 It's like a volcano in here.
15:05 >> Are you hot?
15:09 >> No.
15:09 >> Okay, it must just be me then.
15:25 >> >> That was just the pants on the couch.
15:30 Um Hey, do you Do you mind if I use your bathroom?
15:32 >> Oh, go ahead.
16:15 >> Thanks.
16:15 >> >> Hey, my favorite part's coming up.
16:35 >> Okay.
16:35 >> >> Oh my god.
16:41 >> >> Hello.
16:42 Joey, it's Ross.
16:43 I need some help.
16:45 >> Uh Chandler's not here.
16:47 >> Well, you can help me.
16:51 >> Okay.
16:51 >> Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom.
16:56 >> Nice.
16:56 >> >> No, I I got really hot in my leather pants,
16:59 so I took them off,
17:00 but they must have shrunk from the the sweat
17:02 or something or or my legs expanded from the heat
17:06 and but I I can't get them back on,
17:09 Joey.
17:09 I can't.
17:13 >> Huh.
17:13 That is quite a situation.
17:17 >> >> Uh do you see any like powder?
17:20 >> What?
17:20 Powder, yeah, yeah, I have powder.
17:22 >> Good, good, okay.
17:24 Sprinkle some of that on your legs,
17:25 it'll absorb some of the moisture
17:26 and then you can get your pants back on.
17:28 >> Yeah, hold it, yeah, hold on.
17:53 >> >> They're not coming on, man.
17:57 >> Um you see any uh oh, Vaseline?
18:01 >> Oh.
18:01 I I see lotion, I have lotion, will that work?
18:04 >> Yeah, sure, throw some of that on there.
18:07 >> Hold on.
18:20 >> >> Ross, you okay?
18:25 >> They're still They're still not coming on, man,
18:27 and the lotion and the powder have MADE A PASTE.
18:35 >> REALLY?
18:35 UH WHAT COLOR IS IT?
18:38 >> Difference does that make?
18:40 >> Well, I'm just if the paste matches the pants,
18:42 you can make yourself a pair of paste pants
18:44 that you don't >> Call the plumber.
18:47 >> >> JOEY, DO YOU HAVE a minute?
18:49 >> Dude, what am I going >> Uh Rachel's here, so good luck, man.
18:52 Let me know how it works out.
18:55 >> >> Oh, Joey, I have such a problem.
18:59 >> Uh well, your timing couldn't be better.
19:01 I am putting out fires all over the place today.
19:06 >> Ross, um you've been in there for a a time.
19:11 I'm starting to get kind of freaked out.
19:14 >> All right, I'm coming out.
19:18 Hey, can you turn the lights off?
19:23 >> >> No, let's just leave the lights on.
19:37 >> >> Oh my palm.
19:39 >> >> I had a problem.
19:40 >> Hey man, I want to talk to you about
19:42 that that girl that you dancing with.
19:43 >> Wasn't nice, huh?
19:45 >> I think I almost brought my wife to this.
19:49 >> Yeah.
19:50 Yeah, okay.
19:54 >> Look buddy, I came with that girl, okay?
19:56 And I have I have this plan to kiss her at the New Year's
19:58 countdown.
19:59 I'm I'm trying to win her over, you know?
20:00 So, I was wondering >> I don't think so.
20:03 >> Come on, man.
20:04 You You can dance with my partner.
20:05 She's She's real mellow.
20:08 >> Look, you uh You dating this girl you came with?
20:12 >> Well, I was hoping after tonight that maybe I could, you know >> No.
20:15 No, she's fair game if you ask me.
20:16 Sorry, buddy.
20:18 >> All right.
20:21 Hey.
20:21 >> Yeah.
20:21 Fair's fair.
20:22 I mean, you know, when you're right, you're right.
20:23 What can I say?
20:24 But >> Hey, ALL RIGHT.
20:29 >> WHAT ARE YOU IN THE SECOND GRADE?
20:31 >> Hey man, you're the one who WET HIS PANTS.
20:34 >> YOU KNOW WHAT?
20:35 I DON'T CARE.
20:36 I LIKE IT LIKE THIS and I'm going to keep it.
20:38 You're just jealous because your hair can't do this.
20:44 Ouch.
20:44 >> >> Get yourself in the tooth?
20:46 >> AND THE EYE.
20:52 >> HONEY, YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR A LONG TIME.
20:54 Is everything okay?
20:56 >> Not really.
21:00 I have a problem.
21:05 >> >> Really?
21:05 What happened?
21:07 >> Well, I was dancing around and singing No Woman, No Cry.
21:14 >> >> I got stuck.
21:17 >> You can't move at all?
21:18 >> Oh, I can move.
21:26 >> >> If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the cornrows?
21:29 >> I guess so.
21:33 >> Some of these look a little frayed.
21:35 >> Yeah, I I tried to gnaw myself free.
21:38 >> Oh, hi.
21:41 Hi.
21:41 Richard just told me he loved me.
21:43 >> Oh my god.
21:44 >> I know.
21:44 >> Honey, that's great.
21:46 >> I know.
21:47 I just can't find >> Oh, they're in the top drawer.
21:50 >> Hurry.
21:50 >> You need one, too?
21:51 >> OH, YEAH.
22:00 >> THERE'S ONLY ONE.
22:04 >> MONICA.
22:04 >> HI.
22:04 Uh we'll be right there.
22:05 We're just um we're trying to decide something.
22:26 >> Rachel.
22:26 >> >> Hey.
22:26 >> Hey.
22:26 They're just trying to decide something.
22:28 >> Oh, good.
22:29 Good.
22:36 Good.
22:36 >> >> So, is um was your mustache did it used to be different?
22:47 >> No.
22:47 >> Oh.
22:47 How do you uh you know, keep it so neat?
22:52 >> >> I have a little comb.
22:58 >> Oh.
22:58 And what do you call that?
22:59 >> A mustache comb.
23:03 >> Okay, I I will do your laundry for 1 month.
23:08 >> No.
23:08 >> Okay, okay, OKAY, I WILL I WILL I will I hey,
23:11 I will clean the apartment for 2 months.
23:14 >> All right, I'll tell you what.
23:15 I'll give this to you now
23:16 if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
23:28 >> So, will you end now?
23:34 >> >> Rock, paper, scissors?
23:37 >> Go.
23:37 >> 1 2 3 Yes!
23:43 >> FINE.
23:43 GO HAVE SEX.
23:47 >> NO!
23:48 YOU HAVE GOT IT completely wrong.
23:49 Jon Savage was Deer Hunter, no legs.
23:52 Jon Voight was Coming Home, couldn't feel his legs.
23:55 >> No, no, no way.
23:56 You've got it totally the other way around, my friend.
23:59 Jon Voight >> Honey?
24:01 >> What?
24:01 What?
24:01 Oh, no.
24:10 Shall we?
24:11 >> It's not going to happen.
24:13 They're doing it tonight.
24:14 We can do it tomorrow.
24:18 >> Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat.
24:22 Now you're just a girl in a tub.
24:28 >> >> Hey.
24:28 >> Hi, Bubbles.
24:29 Manley.
24:31 Well, I just thought I would drop by
24:32 and let you know how it went with Joey.
24:34 >> You told her?
24:36 >> >> She pulled it out of me.
24:38 She's She's like a conversational wizard.
24:41 >> >> How did it go?
24:42 Well, you were wrong.
24:43 He doesn't like me.
24:45 >> What?
24:45 >> Yeah.
24:45 How would you like it
24:46 if I sent you to Lee Majors' house
24:48 and I told you
24:49 that he liked you
24:50 and you went down there
24:50 and you found out
24:51 that he didn't like you.
24:52 How would you feel?
24:57 >> >> I don't think I'd care.
24:58 >> Really?
24:59 Lee Majors is hot.
25:04 >> >> Hello.
25:04 >> We're in the bathroom.
25:07 >> >> Why?
25:07 >> Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable time.
25:13 >> What are you guys doing in here?
25:16 >> >> Oh my god.
25:17 A friend he's looking at differently.
25:20 But it's wrong.
25:22 It's Rachel.
25:23 >> You like Rachel?
25:24 >> Hey, look.
25:25 It's no big deal, okay?
25:26 Phoebe and I talked about it.
25:28 It's just a crush.
25:29 It's going to go away.
25:30 Dude, you got to rearrange your bubbles.
25:31 Whoa.
25:35 >> >> THAT'S A TOUGH.
25:40 >> HEY.
25:40 >> HEY.
25:40 >> HEY.
25:40 >> ROSS AND I WERE LOOKING for you.
25:42 What are we ALL DOING IN HERE?
25:45 >> >> OH MY.
25:48 >> HONEY, COVER UP WITH THE BOAT.
25:53 >> >> HELLO.
25:53 >> YES, WE'RE ALL IN HERE AND we'd love for you TO JOIN US.
25:59 >> >> WELL, HEY.
26:00 >> HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
26:02 >> >> OOH, cool boat.
26:04 OH, NO.
26:07 HEY, DID DID DID YOU TELL HIM?
26:08 >> NO, I WAS waiting for you.
26:10 >> Tell us what?
26:11 >> WE'RE HAVING A GIRL.
26:13 >> OH MY.
26:15 >> HEY.
26:15 >> >> OH MY.
26:17 >> OH MY.
26:19 >> I'LL I'LL GET YOU LATER.
